Hi all, I'm new here and very greatful that I've found you. I'm almost 35 and need to lose about 150lbs. I feel very helpless and hopeless the older I've gotten the worse this seems to be. I have 5 kids but only two of them are mine by birth (its a blended family thing). My youngest is nine and I can see that my weight issues are being passed down to her. If I don't learn how to control this I'm afraid that it will be a burden to her forever. I have seen the consequences of not getting in better shape. Both my parents have diabetis, they have had multiple heart issues and my Dad has lost his right leg and part of his right hand to diabetis related infections.

About 8 years ago I though I had a better handle on this and then my husband had a gastric bypass. I have never been skinny but I went from being the thinner one of the couple to huge one. I think I have gained every pound he's lost. I want to encourage him in his weightloss and healthy living but I can't help that he is leaving me behind. I become more and more reclusive because I am embarrassed at how I look and that when we go out I look like a pig and he eats like a bird. My brain says it should be the other way around.

What is wrong with me and how do I fix it?

I know that stress has been a huge factor having a blended family isn't easy for anyone but we have had some extreme situations. My 11 year old son by birth has high level autism, and all of my three step-children have either PTSD and bi-polar disorder. Trying to make a peaceful family or keep any kind of schedule to care for myself just becomes impossible. I did good for awhile but I found that I was not taking good care of the kids - I end up in a rut of either I loose weight or they eat but I just can't seem to control myself and do the cooking for them.

I'm sorry for babbling, it's been a long time since I had anyone to talk to about this, my husband use to understand but it seems he's forgotten how hard it is to lose weight and he just thinks I need to "do more". I know he still loves me, but I don't think he really feels like he likes me, this size me anyway. I can tell he is embarrased when we go places or meet people he knows.

I'm really just looking for support and someone who understands.

Thx
cp

Welcome to 3FC! This forum is a great place to get support and be motivated. you have come to the right place.

While I can't identify with your entire situation, I can identify with having a skinny husband! I always joke that my husband could fart and lose 5 pounds. I, on the other hand, watch a KFC commercial and gain weight. He has never been overweight, and doesn't understand why I just don't "try harder". I think sometimes, people forget that moms give and give and give, and at the end of the day, have nothing left for themselves.

Stick around and browse the forums... I bet you can find someone who has a similar situation and might have some tips for you.

2 years ago I was in your boat. YoYo dieter, never really lost my weight. Just kept packing on more. I'm 34 and I knew if I didn't loose it now I was looking at being fat for life. I did what I thought I would never do, I had lapband. And I dieted after I got it. But it was much easier than all my past attempts. Now I'm 3 pounds from my self set goal. I don't even miss being fat. If your husband had weight loss surgery, is it an option for you? Just wondering.

My hubby had a full by-pass and I don't think I would ever do that, but I have considered the lapband, I just can't afford it. He had heart issues so they did his through insurance as a life saving measure. I don't think I qualify for that - I just don't know.

Ceprice...your story touched me. I know how difficult weight loss can be even if everything in your life is going well. You have your hands full, but I think you must be alot stronger than you think in order to deal with everything you do on a daily basis. I know that eating is a way our for me, it has been my medication for years, but I want to feel better for me first but not only that I know if I fell better what I put out into the world will be better, and I will be better for my family. I am now the one rambeling on, I just feel for you!

Hi and welcome to 3FC.

Good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle

This is part of being emotional eater. Those insecurities have made intake a lot of food. I have gone into this, and the only way to overcome these is to take action. Write your goals. Make ways to reach that goals. Do not afraid to fail, do it all over again.

Good Luck. We know you will do great.

Stick around.

Oh my, I can feel the distress and almost panic in your words.

You have come to the right place! Take a deep breath. You can do this. You really can.

Consider a "diet" as the way you will eat for the rest of your life. You won't be cooking "special" meals for them and another for you. You will all eat the same things--only less, ok?

Try that for a week, and write down all that you eat and why.

That is a fabulous way to start. Writing it down will help you make better choices, so that'll help--and you need to know what you "triggers" to eat are so you can head them off next time before you eat.

Then, next week, simply eliminate 100 calories a DAY from what you're eating--that's one of many possible healthy approaches to weight loss!

Hang around here as much as you can--read, stuff from the maintainers forum--and see where you can go from here.

A "diet" in order to be successful--has to be the way you'll eat (more or less) forever--and you will be teaching your family how to eat better too--especially that precious daughter of yours. (I have an obese child. I know how scary this whole thing is.)

Good luck and welcome!

Hello, cp, and welcome to the forums. My heart goes out to you. This is a wonderful community with plenty of inspiration, motivation, and support to go around. You are not alone in your struggle and we will always be here for you.

First - you absolutely CAN do this.
Second - it will take work, commitment, dedication, community, and most of all LOVE.

You need to love yourself enough to put your needs higher on your priority list. Honestly - the best way you can take care of your family is to take care of yourself FIRST. The rest will come.
I KNOW firsthand how hard this is, but you must, must, MUST take time to plan and then execute your plan.

Weight loss doesn't just happen. All the wishing in the world won't achieve it. You have to change your lifestyle.

That includes finding ways to deal with the stress that don't involve food. It involves planning your eating, taking time to prepare healthy things for YOU - even if the family is eating something else. It also means taking time to exercise, and center yourself (meditate, pray, whatever works for you).

I hope you will post often - coming to 3FC regularly really helped me stay OP.

I look forward to reading of your progress!