Dear Ladies,

Something I realized today, during my morning run (yay), is that weight loss is not the cure for all of my problems that I thought it would be. Silly, I know, but stick with me. I think that some of us, myself included, think of weight loss as a "magic bullet" and say to ourselves, "When I get thin, life will be so much better, easier, etc." but the truth is that when you lose the weight, that's all you do: lose weight.

I was under the impression that when I lost weight I would go through this complete transformation of body and mind, and come out in the end a completely different/happier/better person. While I am pleased to say that with the support of 3FC and my moderate dedication (lol), my body is in the best shape of my life, my mental condition hasn't really changed.

I am more confident when I look in the mirror and feel better wearing clothes but I still have "fat" days where I look in the mirror and am sure that I managed to gain 8 lbs over night (lol). I still have the same insecurities that I did 20 lbs heavier. While better controlled, my anxiety (which I have mentioned before) is still there, all thought better controlled, I still fear the my bf might leave me for someone prettier or just get bored with me, etc.

Sorry for the really long post. I was just wondering if anyone else has felt this way. Even reading my own post, it sounds silly but I guess I could just use some support. Thanks and hugs many times over!

Audra

/raises hand

Only recently have I realized that losing weight is NOT going to cure my anxiety, body issues, or just general uncomfortability with myself.

Don't know how to work on *those* issues, but for the time being I'm going to continue to work out, eat correctly and see the scale #'s drop.

Its true! Losing weight didn't solve any of my problems, if it had, I wouldn't keep losing and gaining again.

It helps to know that I am not alone.

Hi digging deep. I can absolutely sympathize with what you're talking about. I'm at the lowest weight I can ever remember being at and still have days where I feel fat and gross and just want to cry. But I also have days where I feel beautiful, fit, strong, healthy, and maybe even sexy! How many of those days did you have before you lost weight? I would guess that the good days outnumber the bad days now, whereas maybe it was the opposite before. I actually was always a pretty confident, happy person, even at 170 pounds, but the past 4 months have showed me a whole new side of myself - a drive deep down that I never knew existed, the determination to run for 60 minutes straight and feel great, the willpower to stop eating when I know I'm full, and those accomplishments are mine and mine alone. When you have those bad days, just think about how far you've come and how much healthier you are these days. You know have the tools to keep up this lifestyle forever, and while there will most definitely be challenging and crappy days, you will move on and use them to help you get even stronger! Congrats on the progress so far!

TakingCharge: Thank you for your kind comments and reminding me that there is definitely an emotional component to accomplishing weight loss. I do have days where I feel damn sexy (yes! lol) like I never did 20 lbs ago. A healthy BMI is very satisfying as well.

I guess, I just assumed that because everyone talks about endorphin release during workouts and self confidence that comes from weight loss, I expected a greater impact on my mental health, in addition to the obvious pluses to my physical health.

I mean, I feel like I can take on the WORLD right after a work out, but it doesn't last me all day. Which sucks.

Hmm I can see where you are coming from, although I have had a different experience. It's true that some of the things that still bother me are the same even though I am 50 lbs lighter. However, I have a LOT more confidence at 163 than I did at 213 lbs. I'm not afraid of speaking up or being assertive... I think it has some to do with losing weight, yes. But also, my goal from the beginning was more than just losing weight... it was to become a runner. So a lot of my confidence/identity/who I really was underneath layers of fat was discovered during one of the many daily runs (and continues to be discovered!)

Also, I have GAD and OCD and I have found that daily exercise has REALLY alleviated a lot of my symptoms. Of course I still practice therapeutic techniques when needed, but instead of becoming anxious over things, I find I am less stressed, more calm and generally even-keeled on the emotional level than I was before. That's not to say that I'm still not challenged at times, but a big part of me wonders why I suffered with anxiety problems/rumination/obsessions when 30 minutes of daily cardio has seriously made a huge impact on my ability to cope.

I absolutely agree that exercise is MANDATORY for me to control my anxiety as well as I do. I manage my anxiety disorder(s) without medication. Running has been a huge blessing in my life that I was not prepared for but am immensely grateful for. (I'm doing C25K right now and am halfway through.) I have to say that specifically running has helped me more as far as anxiety goes than say lifting weights or the 30DS did. It's about the kind of exercise you do, so I think it makes sense that we both benefit from reduced symptoms because of running. (Whoo. Go runners. Lol.)

I think what I was/am trying to say is that weigh loss does not equal therapy, which I guess, is pretty obvious, but I truly thought that I would lose the weight and wake up one day and think, "I'm obviously so freakin' hot the my boyfriend can/will never leave me" LMAO and then that anxiety would magically disappear. I'm such a dork but a part of my really wanted to believe that would happen.

HAHAHAHA. I totally have the same thing happen to me. If only it would last all day!

lol, yes, I know exactly what you mean. Running -or daily exercise- not only gives a place for all of that anxiety to go, but it just generally improves my mood and makes me feel better emotionally all around. But I agree, there are things I learned in therapy that I will always have to use in order to manage the difficult times. You're not a dork for thinking that one day your anxiety issues would disappear. My OCD started so suddenly that I thought that it would leave just as suddenly, so I spent several years hoping it would just go away as quickly as it came. Of course it never did, and eventually I had to go to therapy to learn how to deal with it. Funny thing is, one of the first questions my therapist asked me was do I exercise regularly?

I also manage it without medication - I've found that running IS my medication, and only now that I know how to deal with things when they get a little hairy... running is therapy for me. But it wasn't always that way and it took some time to be able to get there. Now I am able to deal with my anxiety through running - and hey, it's a lot less expensive than a therapist.

HAHAHAHA. Running is waaaay less expensive than therapy!

Therapy was a great thing for me and really has allowed me to have the quality of life that I do. It's another thing that I am super grateful for. I think that I realized my battle with anxiety would be an uphill one, really from the very beginning.

Many of the issues that supposedly triggered my anxiety have been "resolved" (as much as they will ever be) through therapy. Now, that I am past all of those issues, including my weight/body image stuff (which the weight loss has obviously helped) I feel like there are a whole bunch of new issues staring me in the face that I never had the opportunity to pay attention to before.

It's a bit discouraging to be honest. First weight loss is not the "cure" I thought it would be and second, now I have a new set of issues staring me in the face. GRREAAAT. Lol.

BTW, Thank you for understanding.

I hope that one day maybe running will be my "medication" too.

I never feel differently about myself. Felt the same at 230 that I did at 150. It's not a good feeling, but it's the same. I think that it's a frame of mind. Your brain needs to loose mental weight while your body looses physical weight. (Sounds cheesy, but you know what I mean Hopefully anyway...)

I know exactly what you mean. There was a great thread that someone posted today from MSN about this very topic. I completely agree and it took awhile for me to get used to being 20 lbs lighter. It actually really helped that I plateaued (never thought I'd ever say that. lol) for roughly 6 months where I currently am because my brain had a chance to catch up!

Our minds are very powerful...if only we could always wield them the way we want to!

Author's Note: I haven't weighed in for a month now and won't weigh in for another month (until I have completed C25K).