My best friend had WLS one year ago and has now lost 95 lbs and within a few pounds of her goal weight. I am very happy for her but yesterday after our telephone conversation I found myself feeling very jealous of the fact that she is now a normal sized woman who is getting male attention and she is married! She can wear cute clothes and skirts to show off and I'm still fat and single. I just want to cry! I feel ashamed of myself for feeling this way but even though I'm not sure I would even have the surgery my insurance doesn't cover it and there's no way I could afford to pay for it myself. I know I should take this as a motivation to get off my butt and get busy losing the weight but right now all I want to do is crawl into bed and feel sorry for myself.

This is gonna sound crappy, but here it goes.

I have known people who have had the sugary, and not only have they been in pain from it, but they gained the weight right back. My dad's wife had it, she is now 50 lbs OVER what she used to weight.


Slow is better. As much as it sucks, it really is. Changing your self, the way you look at food, and the way you act around food is SO much better then losing weight quickly.

Thank You Lauralee, I know you are right. I'm just having a hard time with this today, I guess I'm just angry with myself because I know I could have lost more weight by now and I've been single for a long time and feeling very lonely. I know I can do this with the support of all you nice people.

I agree with lauralee21...my sister had WLs over as year ago...but she never learned how to properly change her lifestyle! she didnt eat much at first, b/c of course she couldnt...but she only dropped 50 pounds in a year b/c she still ate unhealthy stuff...and gradually, kept eating more and more, until she started gaining back. She didnt exercise, learn how to cook or eat nutriciously, or limit her intake. she is right back where she started!
Whatever efforts you make daily are changing the way you live...and hopefully, you will make it your way of life...not a temp fix.

I notice that she lost 95 pounds in a year's time?

Lots of people here on 3FC have lost that much and even more in a year's time, without weight loss surgery.

Keep going! Looks to me like you're down what, 40 pounds?

Jay

Hey girl you have lost FORTY lbs on your own! Keep going- I bet you'll get there too- and the best part is you'll have learned the right way to eat!

I too have heard many stories about how so many people are gaining back the weight after WLS! It's NOT an easy fix, you have to learn how to eat properly, the surgery just helps speed up the weight loss.

We all get jealous time to time, trust me- it's okay

Jealousy is a bottomless pit, I don't even want to go there. I'd be jealous of people with nice houses, nice clothes, better jobs, gorgeous kids, nice noses (hate my nose!), great hair, who get to travel to fantastic places, can paint, can play a musical instrument, understand physics etc etc

I am me - this is what I have to work with, comparing myself negatively to other people isn't healthy or good for me. There will always be someone richer, prettier, thinner, smarter and more talented.

I will say, for me, before I finally "got it", that I can do this and before I started my "journey", yes, others people's weight loss successes may have caused me to be jealous but not anymore. Not since I know I am capable of reaching my own goals and that I have already lost almost 140 pounds.

Thanks Glory, I needed that kick in the *** Losing weight is not easy whether you have WLS or do it the old fashioned way. Just gotta pick myself back up and get moving again, I know I can do this.

Thanks to you all!

Focus on what you like about yourself. You may be jealous that she lost all that weight but you can lose it all too. You never know what others envy in you. You have lost 40 pounds. That is something to be proud of. Just keep doing what you are doing, and before you know it, you will be there!

so many times we answer our own questions...we all know WHAT to do but we still have to do it...if it were easy the weight loss industry wouldnt be so successful...sounds like youre getting yourself back on track.....best wishes

You'll get there and you'll learn so much about yourself in the process... as for being single, I know how that goes. All of my friends are either married or practically married. I'm 26 so I'm not in a hurry to run off and get hitched but it might be nice to date again before I'm 30.

Huntress -- being fat and being single are two different things, and I really don't even think they have much to do with each other.

Otherwise fat people would never get married or have boyfriends/girlfriends and -- of course -- they do, probably at about the same rate that thin people do. (It would be interesting to know if any studies have been done on this.) It's more a matter of self-confidence I think.

Please don't put off living because you're overweight. And, you have had a FABULOUS weight loss with your 40 pounds! That's great! Hugs.

Nicely put!

I use to work at a place where multiple people had WLS. It was rough to sit there fat and watch them all shrink away. I thought about it multiple times though and kept coming back to the idea that I could not have WLS before I had put forth 100% effort on trying to lose the weight with no body modification.