Hi everyone,

Lately I have been thinking about why I waited so long to get motivated and lose weight. I used to think it was because I was working full time, going to grad school, I got married and we bought our first home... life just seemed busy. But I waited until 2 years after we were married to start losing weight. Looking back I realize that I was not as busy as I thought I was. Dieting doesn't take up massive amounts of time during my day. I run for about an hour every night, I take 10-15 minutes to pack a healthy lunch and the rest tends to fall into place.

I will hopefully reach my goal by the end of the year, but my husband and I are starting to talk about having kids in another year or so, and that leaves me of course worrying that I will gain weight back, but also wishing I had more time to enjoy my thin body. THAT leads to regret that I didn't start losing weight sooner.

I know part of it is just getting to the point where being healthy or losing weight is a greater desire than remaining fat, and it may be that I just have to accept that those years are gone and I shouldn't waste time regretting that I waited this long to start losing weight.

Does anyone else have this feeling of regret? I just wish I hadn't wasted that time thinking I was "too busy" or "too tired" to commit to losing weight.

Yes, I do (along with waiting so long to start getting other problems in my life sorted out).

On the other hand...I can't change the past, so I try not to think about it. Easier said than done, life could have been so much "better" had I done X this way and Y that way. But that's the way it is. I'm responsible for some parts of my past, but I'm more responsible for my future.

Sometimes I have those feelings but I try not to give them much space in my head because dwelling on it or thinking too much about it isn't productive. Know what I mean? I've been divorced for 13 years (!!!) and yeah, it would have been nice to spend that time slim and attractive, but for whatever reason I didn't do that.

As far as gaining weight to have kids--think of that as temporary weight. I talk here about having gained weight with kids, but it's not entirely accurate. I was slim when I got pregnant with my first baby. I gained 70 pounds with him, and lost all but 10 of it. The next baby I gained 60 pounds, and lost all but 10 of it. That means I was really only 20 pounds over my original starting weight within a year or so of having baby #2. But instead of losing that, I gradually gained more and more till my final highest weight was 10 pounds OVER what I was when I was 9.5 months pregnant with a ten pound baby!

So I guess I'm trying to reassure you that you CAN get back to your slim figure after babies. I gained a lot because I treated pregnancy like a free-for-all and ate huge quantities of whatever I wanted. It's not a plan I recommend, for obvious reasons. And yeah, I wish I had gotten into shape sooner but really, in a year or two I'll be looking back at the 2009 Windchime and feeling pretty grateful to her that she did something in 2009 and didn't wait!

It would've been nice to be slim and trim in my twenties, sure. Sometimes I can't believe that at age 33 I'm the healthiest I've ever felt. But I don't linger on those thoughts too much because I know how hard I had to work to get to this point emotionally and mentally. Losing weight is a walk in the park (literally when you think about it) as long as your mind is centered and you can focus on that. Being overweight is emotional turmoil and one must be ready to climb out of it in order to do the easy part.

I have battled the bulge and all sorts of eating disorders since age 5. I will be 40 this feb. MANY many many many hours and thousands of dollars in binge or diet food, therapy, and personal trainers later, I am at a point where my body and mind are mostly healthy.

At this point I believe that with persistence and commitment and indeed, the help of this community at 3fc, I can maintain a healthy lifestyle and weight.

Do I wish I had less pain and suffering? Of course. But life is a process one has only so much control over. We can do only what we can do when we are both able and ready.
And that's that!

Exactly this.

Sure I wish I hadn't waited til I was 42 to wake up from the fog and start caring about my health. Sure I wish I had done it earlier. But I didn't. I just can't dwell on it. I can't get back that time. That's a shame, but what's done is done. It is pointless, just pointless to keep looking back. I've got to look at the present and the future.

Though I wish I had done this earlier, I am thrilled that I didn't wait til I was 52. Or even one day longer then when I began.

Once again, I completely agree with RR above. I wish I had done something sooner. I am grateful to have been slim during high school and college and on my wedding day. I think I felt less than deserving for many years and let myself slip into being unhealthy and obese. I guess I drifted so far from shore I thought I had lost sight of land. But one day in May '08 I just started swimming towards shore. I didn't see land for a long while--but I knew it was there SOMEwhere!

I try not to dwell on the past. I just try to live and enjoy today like it's my last.

I agree with what all of you are saying. This is just the first time that I've really sat and thought about the time that I wasted being fat, and in some ways I feel like I need to grieve for that lost time. Windchime, it's good to know that baby weight can be lost LOL. I have definitely thought that pregnancy can't be a free for all when it comes to food. I plan on running all through pregnancy and to the delivery room if it's possible.

I have learned lots of lessons about what to eat/what not to eat, why I eat, etc. but I think the biggest lesson I've learned is that there is never NOT enough time in the day to squeeze in exercise. My fear is already that I will put dieting and exercise on the back burner when we start a family. Thankfully I've been able to talk to my husband about this and he knows I need to make it a priority.

There is a LOT more behind the exercise thing... a big part of my identity as a runner..but that's another post for another day.

See that's a big regret I have. I was 200 lbs on my wedding day and I hate looking at the photos. I very, very much wish I had gotten my act together and at least maintained 160 lbs instead of putting on 40 lbs during the 15 months we were engaged. Most brides try to lose weight. Me? I ate one too many samples of wedding cake.

Have you ever thought about renewing your wedding vows?

I was slim on my wedding day but had a HORRIFIC wedding ruined by family members. I want a new wedding and WILL have one--probably @ 20 year anniversary.

Well, in a way, of course. I wish I'd never gained all this weight the first time--in college. I wish I'd lost it in the 1990s. I wish I'd kept it off when I lost it in 1999-2000. And again in 2003.

But.

I feel like the Universe has a plan for each of us. I truly believe that, when I began this journey last August, it was the right time. I don't know why, only the Universe knows that. But apparently NOW is the right time. Hopefully one day I'll understand why, but maybe not. And that's OK. I'm just trying to concentrate on the NOW and not worry about the past.

I haven't thought about renewing our vows (we've only been married for 2.5 years) but I have thought about doing a "trash the dress" photography session once I lose all the weight. Of course my size 20 wedding dress would be falling off me at that point. Maybe I could score a $99 gown in my size or something. Or maybe just another photography session with me and my husband, kind of like our engagement photo session (which I was also fat for). Hmmm.

Yes, however I think the following usually directly after. At least I started now and didn't wait another 6 months, year, etcetera. I *could* be that much further behind where I am now.

Yes I regret it sometimes, but I always think better late than never.

I mean when I was 185 I said I'd never let myself get to 200, THEN I was 200 after I got married and continued till I hit 235! Now I'm back down to 211.5 as of this morning and I'm glad I'm doing something about it rather than letting myself continue to get bigger.

211! You did it!!