so I recently met this great guy in a dating website my friend signed me up for a couple years ago and we've been emailing back and forth for a month now since we dont live in the same cities. He's a huge sweetie. (lol which I've learned isnt a compliment for guys but he's not here right now :P)

so I brought up MS as soon as possible and hei didnt flinch. So I figured we'd meet up when I'm in his city in a couple weeks and get to know each other better. but I've spoken to him on the phone a couple times now, in addition to daily emails... and that led to me, this morning before work sending an email that included my weight loss. He's seen 'some' pictures from before and after... but nothing I wasnt okay with... and now it just sucks to have to hear back from him.

Just had to get that out there. I know it's cryptic. I really want to stop thinking about his reaction. He's a great guy but the weight loss isnt something I really wanted to have to admit to a person that thinks I'm fascinating.

alright. moving on! have a great friday ladies. thanks for listening.

Hmmm. To be honest, I can't see that many people would have a problem with that. Hey, so I lost all this weight, and I look fantastic now?
Don't stress about his reaction. If he reacts poorly in some way, then you know he's a douche and he's not worth it... and as much as that might suck... it opens you up to find someone better.

But it's not even necessary to worry about that yet. Because chances are, you're a lot more worried about his reaction to your weight loss than he would be about your weight loss.

Why do you have to tell him anything? That is crazy.

I agree with Annie, why is it necessary to tell him ? I wouldn't tell.....yet. Maybe sometime in the future I might say " I used to be much heavier ".

This is an interesting topic because I've had the same thoughts and worries and I thought maybe I was the only one! I moved here from out of state almost 2 years ago, I didn't know anyone here. I have been the same weight (around 200) the whole time I've been here so all of my friends (and my boyfriend whom I've been with for a year and a half) have no idea that I ever weighed 250 lbs and was 4 sizes larger than I am today. I've never told my boyfriend, I was always a little worried of what he would think, which seems silly to me but I can't help how I feel! I think I have this worry that he'll say to himself "she used to be huge and it's likely she'll regain it all sometime!" Or I'll worry that he'll picture me fat in his head and totally lose interest in me or something. *sigh* I know it's pretty much all in my head but I can't help it! I don't know if I'll ever tell him but then again he's bound to see a picture or something from when I was much heavier. I dunno.

I know many people who never knew my as fat. I have told a few , they usually just don't believe it, or seem surprised. Really, it is not as big a deal to other people as it is to us.

I know when I meet someone who's lost a significant amount of weight I'm just damn impressed. But maybe that's because I'm fat. Still, I don't see why anyone would look down on you for having lost weight.

yeah, ya know it's one of those things that I wouldnt say outloud I was concerned about but I could easily slip over here and run a post to get it out of my mind. It isnt a big deal. Something about me having to be at work at 730 am makes me a little bit more neurotic then mid day.

I hope everything goes well with you .. and im sure it will :-)

I agree with Jelbb. He may just be really impressed and if he has any negative reaction, eff him, he's not worth it.

I used to have the same worries... when I was casually dating my now boyfriend, I sort of unpassant told him I had lost some weight... he didnīt really pay attention to it... then two years later we started dating more seriously and the weight loss was/is such an important journey in my life, that I felt I needed to share with him... and scared as I was, I showed him a before picture...

His reaction was a very uncharlant ... "Humm, it doesnīt look like you... ". I know that some men are idiots who preffer not to date someone who was once larger... but I would say that most care about who you are now, and there are even a few who will be proud of you for embarking in such a journey ...

LOL. I know exactly what you mean by that.

Any updates? Did you get an email response?

The guy I'm seeing, who was also my friend back in my biggest days (250+).... always jokes around with me and says that because of my weight loss, he considers me a "good investment".... i.e. I get better every year!

Weight, and weight loss, and weight struggle... are part of me. Not ALL of me, but part of me. And any guy that I want to be with me has to understand ALL (or at least attempt to) of me, too. I don't want to be with someone I can't share my struggles, my vices, my loves, my worries, my happiness, etc. If a guy can't be with me for the bad as well as the good...? Well, there's just no point to being a relationship with that person, in my opinion.

Starfishkitty:
I like your perspective better than the "why does he have to know" one. (No offense meant to people who feel that way at ALL,) I just think that when you're interested in someone with any degree of seriousness, they should be able to know you. And for a lot of us, this is a really big part of who we are.
I don't want my boyfriend to think I'm crazy for eating rice krispies out of a measuring cup because I don't want to tell him that I've lost 30 lbs, and occasionally take small portion-control measures like this to keep it from coming back, you know?
And with Val... she's lost an even more significant amount of weight, and I can only assume that makes it a big part of who she is, especially since she's still focused on getting down to goal. It all comes down to someone knowing who you are, knowing more about you. And I think that's important.

Val, did you hear back from him?