This is probably more of an airing of guilt than anything else, but I think if I admit to doing it I might be able to move past it.

I've been 300+ for several year and haven't been dedicated to losing the weight like I should have. I've tried many diet and exercise plans in the past and have not been able to get under 300. I come close - last time was two years ago when I plateaued at 308 only to rebound to 350. Now I am fluctuating between 315 and 325; and have started to cheat on my diet because I'm not seeing results. Self-destructive, I know, but I have worked my a$$ off (44 miles of walk/hike in the last four weeks) and have been conscientiously watching what and how much I eat.

I was losing weight steadily until last week when I hit a wall. So last night I went to dinner with friends to celebrate a new job (theirs, not mine) and instead of making healthy choices like I knew I should have, I chose to eat both bread and potatoes, which are restricted for me, and follow up with a slice of ice cream cake.

I realize that there are occasions where enjoying restricted foods is OK in moderation, but I can't help but think that this is my first step toward self destruction yet again. So now it's the proverbial "morning after" and I'm bummed out. I'm going to take a new approach and hit the gym twice today since it's my day off.

Has anyone else had this happen to them? I know I didn't gain all the weight at once and that it's going to take time to lose it, but how can I keep from undermining myself when I plateau? Especially since I know it's going to happen...

Hey there! My situation isn't exactly like yours, but I understand.

I lost a lot of weight in 2005/06 and miraculously (it seemed) got my weight down to the 170s. I did it by being very consistent and controlled.

Well, I learned that one cookie wouldn't kill me. And then 2. And then a day of not tracking my food, and two. None of it killed me, but as I relaxed my habits, I gained weight. And then it was like a switch would turn off and there were days I just didn't care! And that WILL kill me -- or at least have me gaining all the weight back.

I sabotaged 30 pounds back on. The most frustrating part is that on one level I did care what was happening, but not when I reached for the food!

It took me a while, but I feel like my more controlled mindset is back. I just kept trying to reset. But how to keep it?

So, you are not alone (in fact, I think you and I are in very good company!)

IM guessing that you have hit a freeze in weight loss. about every 3 weeks i do the same thing, and like you i want to give up, but i dont. I have can to accept that i will lose steadily for a few weeks, then nothing, but stay on track and you will start loosing again. I use to think i could go out with friends, because i would go off my diet, but now, i realize that its life, we cant be perfect all the time, we are allowed to make mistakes, just get up, brush yourself off, and start on plan again.

but here are a few questions
1. make sure you check with your doctor to make sure there isnt some other reason why you cant lose the weight

2. what diet plan are you following

3. are you eating enough

4. are you getting in all your water

my heart goes out to you i know its tough, everyone on here does, you need to find a program that works for you. i went threw all diffrent ones, la weight loss, ww you name it, till i found Body Wise, and its working great for me. you will do this, you can do this, have faith, and it will happen.

ang

Its not easy to stay motivated at all times if you are not seeing results.

Is the fact that you weighing yourself daily the problem? When the scales dont move for me I stay off them until I feel a change in my clothes. Sometimes that can take a looooong long time, but I keep my eye on the prize and know what my ultimate goal is and once I have locked eyes with what I want its very hard to veer off that path.

I would focus on how eating better and exercising is making you feel. I am sure that your energy levels are much better when you are eating better and moving regularly.

Also, how vigilantly are you tracking what/how much you eat? If you are a calorie counter, perhaps just go back to tracking vigilantly and eating more fresh whole foods (no eating out) for a two week period and continue with your workouts, get plenty of water and see if that helps?

The other thing I used to do when I started out was read success stories for inspiration. Cos you know what . . .if they could why NOT you???

You have done so great, it would be a shame for you to lose momentum now.

"Now I am fluctuating between 315 and 325; and have started to cheat on my diet because I'm not seeing results. Self-destructive, I know, but I have worked my a$$ off (44 miles of walk/hike in the last four weeks) and have been conscientiously watching what and how much I eat"

Maybe it's time to take a closer look at what you're eating. Are you recording everything? Are you actually weighing and measuring? Sometimes when we say we are "watching" what we eat... we mean we are eating better then we used to, but honestly sometimes that's not enough. Most of us have to readjust our calorie intake as our weight loss progresses.

44 miles is great but you're probably not burning as much as you might think and isn't enough to outset mistakes on calories. I know the "average" person burns 100/mile. You might burn 1.5 to twice as much given your extra weight

44 / 4 = 11miles a week or 1.5 miles a day. So that's.. 150 calories for a normal person and maybe 300 for you.

300 calories isn't a lot of leeway for miscalculations in food. I know that's depressing, but that's the truth.

Almost ALL of us have done the up/down thing. Like heather I lost a bunch (115lbs) and then gained 50+ of that back. I'm still trying to work off 25 of that off.

The key to this whole thing is to not let the gain weeks or the non-loss weeks get to you. You said that you already know it's self destructive, so what you can do about it is ignore it... and just keep going. Easier said then done but honestly it's the road to success. "Just Keep Going!"

BTW I don't mean to discourage you with the exercise thing. When they say its 80 percent food and 20 exercise that's what they mean. However if your including lots of exercise you can double or triple what you'd lose by dieting alone but you have to work up to that level of activity. 1.5 miles a day is awesome just keep building upon that. I started walking 20-30mins a day too before I was doing the crazy things I do these days.

Heck yeah, me too!

This is EXACTLY what I need to hear too. The thing is, I have found that I'm happiest when I just am active and eating eating eating, but all healthy foods. I don't weigh myself, I don't care..it is almost like I"m on vacation and you know I was at those times lol. I mean mentally, I just check out and the thing is I always loose weight. I think it is important to just live our lives and yeah have some strategy about recording things, but it seems to me personally like when I fixate on my weight and progress and yadda yadda, I don't do as well as when I'm just living my life with a focus of health and positive things. Hopefully that makes sense.

OMG I was just thinking about that Jacquie. The fact that its when I have just done things intuitively that EVERYTHING clicks.

I have been really asking myself those types of questions this past month:

- am i hungry
- how did that food make you feel
- how will eating that pizza make me feel tomorrow
- encouraging myself to work out bcos of the increased energy etc . . . i switched from seeing my trainer to taking pilates bcos that is where my energy was taking me. I just wasnt feeling the need for hardcore workouts.

I really do believe that we are all far more intuiitive than we give ourselves credit for. We know what to do . . . but often we do not trust that we do. This is why its easy to want to see what worked for other people and try and replicate that . . . bcos if it worked for someone else then that approach is validated some how.

I also am a huge believer in the negative effects that stress have on us . . it makes losing weight SO much harder.

Oh, off topic, but there is a store in Australia called Jacqui-E!!!!

*nods* I'm with you Danni. I agree, I think that we don't give ourselves the chance to just "live" and let things click into place. I'm starting to see that as a way that I self sabotage.

I think it is a zen thing almost. You just "click" hahahahha. If that makes sense...

A store...what do they sell?

I agree with things just "clicking". So much of dieting is mental and for me, it has been a long road of "all or nothing" when in reality if I could have learned that it was OK to go off plan now and again as long as I got right back on at the next meal, or day instead of giving myself a free pass to binge until the following Monday. I now no longer beat myself up over it and get right back on plan.

Hang in there...you will get there!

Hi everyone....from all the posts, I realize I'm not alone!

It's so hard!.....but reading over these posts makes me feel normal again --- I always feel like I'm dieting wrong -- even when I lose, I feel like I'm going to gain the next day!

I've started Atkins w/a twist on June 28th and to date have lost 14.5 lbs. The first two weeks I followed Atkins induction to the tee.....after that I've been adding Lo-Carbs/Whole Grains very slowly.

My weight loss -----

1st wk - 7.9 lbs
2nd wk- 1.1 lbs
3rd wk- .7 lbs
4th wk - 4.8 lbs

My biggest problem is after 7pm - (if I went to sleep at this time, I would probably lose alot)....

I have been bumping into the 300 lbs barrier for years too! I get down, closer and closer, and the next thing I know, I've sabotaged myself and I'm back up to the 315 to 325 level as well. Yesterday I was at 310.5, today 314. It's so frustrating!!!!!

There are so many factors that have contributed to my backsliding ways...
1. I go to my parents to help them (their old and frail now), I get frustrated with them and stop for a burger on my way home to manage the anger, then days go by where I head for fast food two or three times a day.
2. My out-of-town girlfriends come over for a visit and we drink a little, and I lose my resolve and start snacking endlessly.
3. My soon-to-be-ex ignores me when I need help with the kids and expenses that he's supposed to cover but seems to be eternally late on, and I get angry and frustrated and overeat at dinner - even on healthy food.
4. I'm stressed and I can't sleep, then my sleep cycle is off and I eat in order to compensate for energy.
5. I forget to drink water, which I know will make me tired which also leads to overeating.
6. I'm too tired to exercise!

There's always something!

I have to help care for my parents. I have to maintain a social life. I have to contact the ex. I moved to a new town and new home and my kids are not transitioning as well as I would have wanted. I want to fall apart, but there's no one here to comfort me. My life is in a huge transition now and I will be stressed. So, I've been going to the food, and it's a long-standing habit.

I recently decided to go on Medifast. If I can purposely restrict the food for myself, then I won't be overeating. It was going well, except one of my girlfriends came over for the weekend. And my resolve went out the window.

But I keep getting back up and trying again. Because when I let myself sneak back up over the 315 lb, I feel really awful! I'm tired and sluggish and miserable. I don't like it. In fact, I now hate it more than I love to eat. This is a relatively new motivation! I'm really anxious to see how good 305 feels. That's my goal right now. Not breaking 300. Just hitting 305 and experiencing that for awhile.

There are things I have to do in order to counteract my natural tendencies to go to food.

1. After I leave my parents' house, I have to take a different route home, one that doesn't go past the fast food places. And I need to get them into therapy!
2. No more out-of-town girlfriend visits until I break past 285 lb and maintain it for two months!
3. Stop waiting on the ex to comply. Delegate money matters to the lawyer and figure out how to parent without the ex. If he shows up, then he shows up.
4. Be strict about bedtime and when I get up. And force the kids to comply as well. Because if Momma ain't stressed and she's getting adequate sleep, wonderful things happen!
5. Tote water everywhere and start drinking it earlier in the day.
6. Put on my GoWearFit armband again to remind me how much energy I have or haven't expended in the day. It was always very motivating.

Others can fail us, so we need to be faithful to ourselves.

Georgia