I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that MOST people here have that problem!
You dont get to the weights that we have just bcos you like food . . .
For me, living in the moment is helpful. Being conscious of why I am reaching out for food when I have issues that food cannot fix (ie, if its not about hunger then food is NOT the answer).
I actually dont believe that you necessarily need to know WHY you are doing this to stop he behaviour
at the start . Eventually I do think that you need to work it out and the less you do it the more you actually do start to realise why you used to do it - I dont know how that works but its happened to me and a number of people I know - like when you are not numb with food you start to seeeeee things clearly.
Part of the reason that we do this is that its habitual behaviour so you DO need to find something else to do when the urge comes.
I had a horrible incident a few weeks ago at work and on the way home thought about pizza the whole way. But I didnt oder any. I came home turned the computer on and emailed some friends who I knew would understand and got it all out. I felt AMAZINGLY better just doing that and the
need went. I was still angry mind you but I was now comfortable with the emotion and didnt need food to soothe me.
Journalling helps if you can catch yourself in that moment.
So the next time you go to reach for food when its not a hunger related problem ask yourself - are you stressed, angry, tired (obviously in the above example you know what set you off), are you anxious, are you bored, did you see a TV ad that made you want chips?
You need to be conscious and mindful of the choicces you are making so that you can then make a DIFFERENT choice ie. have a hot bath or shower to calm you . . . listen to music that lifts your energy, call someone positive, go for a walk, scream if you need to, acknowledge the feeling - sometimes just saying - I am feeling out of control and I dont know what to do seems to calm me.
You have to make that choice and you need to find what motivates you and things that YOU enjoy (and are not compatible with the act of eating!).
And it becomes easier with time.
I know you can do it
We all can.