I wanted to address an important question posed on our Daily Chat Thread and get some feedback from others. Here is how the original question was posed.

"How many of you give into your urges? How many of you go by the theory that you must give in once and a while in order to succeed?"

For me - I have to avoid my temptations all together. I am not one that can just have one...of anything! I have adopted the policy that "if I don't love it, I don't eat it". Do I really LOVE the rolls that are sitting there in the break room?? Or do I just like them - would I like something else better another time?

That's how I do it - how do the rest of you handle "life" while trying to make a healthy lifestyle change?

Honestly it depends on the time of day & what it is, whether or not it was my "choice" to think about that particular food or not...

For example off your example... the smells in the breakroom. Those rolls were not my idea, not my craving so therefore it's easier to walk away. And I do walk away. However if I had been wishing there were tempting rolls to eat then I'd probably drive myself mad thinking about it. If I get a small "fix" now it'll prevent me from completely binging out later. The exception to giving myself a small fix is the time of day... I cannot do it at night. I do not have the willpower for just one. I have to steer clear if it's after 6pm.

I guess it depends on your definition of "give in," as well. If it's something you want and you think about it, consider it, and make the CHOICE to eat and account for within your plan, is that giving up?

I suppose that as a WW/calorie counter, my perspective is a little different than it is for some, though. If I have a piece of birthday cake I just count the calories, use flex points or make it a higher-calorie calorie cycle day or eat a lighter dinner, and move on. If I were on Atkins of something, perhaps that is a bigger indiscretion.

An example that is perhaps related to the subject at hand (I think I'm rambling here...)...

I have a soft spot for donuts (pun intended ). There is an AMAZING Kosher bakery around here that makes the most divine apple fritters you've ever tried in your life. The last time I successfully lost about 40 pounds I told myself that I wasn't going to give up donuts, but I WAS going to give up all donuts except this one kind from this one place. For ME, that made it manageable. If I REALLY wanted a donut I would tell myself that I could have one, I just had to get in my car, drive 20 minutes to Greenbush Bakery, and hope that they had some left, since they sold out quickly. I think I did eat part of a fritter once during that whole time -- but it wasn't giving in, since it was planned -- but I made it hard enough for myself that it wasn't something that happened frequently.

To be honest, I've been very bad lately when it comes to having urges and giving into temptation...especially when I'm stressed. I've been stressed for a week about the exam I wrote this morning...it hasn't been pretty!

Right now I'm feeling like I really need to build up my willpower.

It almost seems as if I need to make a decision each time I see something unhealthy that I shouldn't eat and decide exactly where on my body the fatty deposit will end up, get grossed out by it b/c the scale will inevitably move upwards if I eat it and then decide to definitely not eat it.

The only thing that's safe in my house, for my DH to eat, is ice cream b/c I really don't like it that much and REALLY don't eat it very often at all...

The chips, pop and cookies NEED to be GONE out of my house! That's my chore this weekend!! No more POP drinking and no more eating chips and cookies!!

I have come to realize that I'm the type of person that can't just eat a little bit of something bad...so I can try my hardest not to eat it at all...

I have to totally resist or just give in. I am not one that can have just one or just a little bite. I wish I could just taste stuff and then put it down and walk away.

I give into temptation on my terms. During the week I will not let myself falter. On the weekends I give myself some freedom and try to work out atleast once so the guilt doesn't consume me. I do crave sweets but I try to keep bad but not so bad things around for such occassions. Sometimes for my TOM I buy a bar of organic dark chocolate and have a few pieces. I keep ice pops in the freezer for a cold sweet snack. I keep 100 calorie packs of popcorn in the pantry if I want chips...it curbs the craving

Basically I try not to give in at all or find a decent substitute. Other times, I just go for it and have bad things but I ALWAYS get back on track afterward. Even if it takes me a day or two I do not let it keep going.

You have to give in to tiny bits of cravings and then walk away otherwise you'll restrict like crazy and end up binging (which I have done plenty of times!)

"Everything in Moderation"

My first line of defense is to simply not have unhealthy quick snack foods available. Secondly, I am pickier about my indulgences. For example: I can't eat the donuts around where I live because I prefer Krispie Kreme, and the closest shop is 164 miles away. In Canada. I'm also picky about which chocolate I like. Neither DH or I drink (alcohol).

As far as having indulgences from time to time, I refuse to say "I've been bad." Eating an unhealthy food is not a moral failing. I *do* occassionally eat a heavy carb/fat load. I find that if I just eat it, and move on without spending time/energy guilt-tripping myself, I'm less likely to trigger an emotional eating binge.

So, I do eat a homemade cupcake at my son's birthday party, but I don't eat the ice cream that his father likes so much with it. I do split a dessert with DH if we go out to eat. I do go through the drive thru on a busy day, but I only get a sandwich, I have water in the car, and I've discovered that their french fries are too salty for my taste.

We do buy a bag of GF flavored potato chips every other month or so, but DH & I have to spot each other. We call them "crack chips" because they are so addictive. One bag may last as long as four days, or as little as two. But, once it's gone, we're done for a few months.

That's just my experience.

I very very rarely veer off my plan. In the past, if I did so, I would get in the mindset that I already messed up, might as well keep going like that the rest of the day which is a no-no for me anymore. Potatoes, especially chips, are my weakness so every once in awhile I will allow myself a handful of chips or fries. I make sure to just have a single serving available because if not, I get crazy with it

A few thoughts and comments...

I totally agree with the thoughts of " I have to LOVE it, to eat it" and giving up all donuts except from a certain place. My weakness: Pizza. And I am a total Pizza snob. I love a thin, crispy crust loaded with fun gourmet toppings and if I had to pick my absolute fav place to get it, it would be The Gaslight in Portsmouth. For me, this is a 45 min drive. I think I could apply that and say, if I really want pizza out, I will have to get in my car and drive for it. That should really help. I mean, you could apply that to just about anything. Just one really expensive bottle of wine, or one really delish cookie made from scratch. Would have a rational consequence forcing you to think "How badly do I REALLY want this"

And the "LOVING" it part, I already do. I am not gonna spoil my diet for some crappy McDonalds or a yucky Hersheys chocolate bar. I'm gonna have a homemade turkey burger with really good cheddar, roasted peppers, crisp dill pickles, fresh lettuce, tomato, on a fresh onion roll. Or 1 perfect Harry and David Dark Chocolate Truffle.

There was something else I read that has been helpful to me. I read it in SELF magazine. It was an article written by a woman who lost a tremendous amt of weight. She said she would say to herself. I can have all the food I want tomorrow but today I am going to stay on plan. The next day would come and she would say the same thing. It reminds me of how my grandmother says she quit smoking And just like smoking, the way I was eating was an addiction for me. I think I get caught up in the goal sometimes and it is relieving to separate the long term goals I have with a more one-day-at-a-time attitude...

Anyway, good thoughts going on here, girls!

I have that temptation as well. What I do is when I feeling that craving very badly I put on my walking shoes and grab my ankle weights and my hand weights and my mp3 player and I walk for fifteen mins when I come back I look at my wedding dress grin to myself as I beat the Temptation.