Last night my friend said "you need to get the lap band, I've know you for 15 years and you have never been successful dieting"...I have been trying to eat healthy and exercise for the last 3 months and have lost 25lbs, today I feel like giving up....Part of me is angry and the other part of me feels like he is right, maybe I don't have what it takes to do this on my own...I am so tired of being overweight, but kind of feel like its my destiny...

That is such an absurd statement that he doesn't even deserve a response for it. Point him in the direction of the WLS surgery sub forum here and explain that despite what he may think, WLS is not a panacea and you do not snap your fingers and poof, all your dreams come true.

Also, you said it yourself - you have been doing it right for three months and are down 25 pounds. You're kicking ***. You are going to continue to kick *** because you are going to keep going. If you decide that WLS is right for you it should be because YOU decided it, not because of someone who does not appear to understand the situation.

That was a really stupid, inaccurate, and inappropriate thing for him to say.

This was an isnsensirive and cruel statement for him to make. WLS surgery should only be considered after consulting with a doctor, It is not a magic pill, it still takes a lot of work to maintain. Many, many people have lost large amounts of weight by diet and exercise. It can be done and you can do it. 25 pounds is a significant loss and you are to be congratulated not insulted. pay no attention to him, he does not know what he is talking about.

right on Nooch!

Don't ever let anyone else tell you what you can't do.

You're already doing it! Surgery isn't a guarantee of success. If it's going to work, you have to learn how to manage your weight with or without altering your plumbing. Wouldn't you rather see if you can do it without making major changes to your digestive system? Think of the weight loss as practice for maintenance.

You can do this! Tell him to mind his own business, or better yet, SHOW him you are doing just fine on your own!

Only YOU know what's right for your body and who cares what's happened in the past. I've been obese for over 15 years now and its taken this long but I'm finally doing something that is working and have the confidence that it's only a matter of time now. Sometimes it takes those past failures to learn what you need to learn.

HE isn't the one who has to deal with the side effects of having WLS... and there are side effects even from the less invasive band procedure.

I'd let her know how he made you feel, and tell her you need people who believe in you.

You've lost 25lb in 3 months - that is success so well done It's roughly what - 2lb per week Don't give up you're doing so well. Your other attempts of "dieting" are over with now - this is a new start and this time it will be different for you. Think about why those other "diets" "failed" then you can learn from that to help you now. You lost 25lb so you know you can do that you just need to do it again now.

As far as weight loss surgery goes...if you think it is for you read about it and talk to your doctor but don't do it because someone else told you too. You are going to get a lot of stupid comments from people along you weight loss journey and some of those will make you feel like giving up so ignore them all. People generally don't have any idea how to lose weight and give a lot of rubbish advice.

I decided there was no way I wanted wls after reading the wls forum here - the diet the people there are given looks much harder for me then learning to lose without wls - I don't believe it's an easy option at all.

Weight loss by any method is always going to be hard but be determined and never give up. You've been successful so far, there's no success in giving up - just keep going and you will get there.

It's NOT your destiny to be overweight, as long as you are doing something about changing that. And you are! 25lbs in 3 months is GREAT! Don't get discouraged - you're doing awesome! Now take that anger and go workout - prove him wrong. You are doing it, therefore you can do it!

A friend of mine just said the same thing to me last night. I should get the lap band and she implied that I could not do it on my own. Plus she said that I was going to die if I didn't. Now, I agree that I am facing huge health concerns but STILL I don't believe that I need the surgery. It has taken my years to get my head in the right place and now I am starting to lose again. I was reading the post-op requirements on a lap band surgery website and they were unbelievably hard. Tiny meals on top of 30-60 min of exercise a day! That's putting the body into starvation mode.
I am going to show all the doubters out there that my time has come and I can lose this weight without surgery.
Pennie

Wow, I wouldn't let him get to you. Losing 25lbs in 3 months is amazing! You are doing great

I am keeping my fingers crossed and really hoping that you don't give up! I know you can do it!

Holly, I have been on that same rollar coaster ride you have been on for about the same amount of time!!!

You are doing so amazing!!!! PLEASE don't listen to him!!!!

Remember, this is a weight loss JOURNEY not a diet! This is a journey to a healthy new you!

Did you ever think that he might be a tad jealous of how far you have come???? You will have some haters along the way because of jealousy.

DON"T GIVE UP!!!!! We are all in this together!

Thanks ladies....i fell off the wagon today, but after reading all your posts I know that tomorrow will be a new day. The friend who said this to me lost 100lbs via lap band..I'm very happy for him, but I feel like i need to give this a try and find out why I weigh as much as I do, he still has the same emotional problems that made him binge, he just replaced his food addition with other additions.

Thanks again, this board has been my saving grace!!!!

Holly I'm very happy that you're going to keep going. There is no quick fix to being overweight, if it was EVERYONE would be skinny. His comments were insensitve. I know you can do this!