Well, title says it all... for the last few weeks (maybe months) I've been going through the motions of being "on plan", tracking my calories on The Daily Plate, wearing my GWF armband every day, adding the numbers together and checking my calorie deficit for the day. But I haven't really been on plan. I've been eating a lot more "casually", telling myself it's okay to go out to eat and order the higher-calorie food, okay to have a lot of salt and not drink enough water, and most of all NOT EXERCISING. Mostly it's because I started back at work 3 weeks ago after several months off (freelancer), and I hate it, and I don't want to have to fit in exercise when I'm already doing something I don't want to do for 8 hours a day, waah wah wah. I can see that I'm only "breaking even" most days, not actually getting much of a calorie deficit, a lot of days recently I've eaten 1,900 calories...

So I've kind of told myself I'm on a "break" from dieting until work is over again, another 3 weeks from now. I'm not gaining weight, I'd know from the tracking if I was really out of control, but I'm not losing either, and I still have goals I want to reach... I need to be 170-ish by the end of August if I'm going to fit in the wetsuit I've rented for my first Triathlon then, not to mention fit enough to do the actual Triathlon!! And then I've got my 10-year high school reunion in October, and I'd really like to be a healthy weight by then. So I know that taking a "break" isn't going to help me at all in the long run, but I just feel so mopey about work, and bored by how rigid I have to be about food and exercise (and salt and water) to see any change on the scale.... I don't know, I just kind of shrug it off and say, sure, I can have a piece of lemon cake before dinner.

Also I haven't been to a WW meeting in two weeks, because I know I haven't been losing, and I hate seeing a bad number when I go. Sigh. I should really just suck it up and go, shouldn't I.

Hmmm. Seems to me that you WANT certain things - weight loss - you KNOW how to get it - exercise and vigilance with your food intake - but you're not quite WILLING to do what it takes. Soooo, I think you must decide what it is you TRULY want, what it is you want the MOST. You can't have that weight loss without putting in the required effort and work.

So, if it is that healthier, fitter, trimmer bod you're looking for - stop telling yourself it's okay to have that extra piece of this and those few extra thats. Make some responsible, sensible, mature decisions about your food intake. It's more then OKAY to tell yourself no every now and then. Focus on your long term satisfaction instead of your short term gratification.

Keep in mind though, that when you get into a groove and I find for me all it takes is 3 really tight perfectly on plan days to get me there - I think you will be RELIEVED beyond belief, feeling soooo much better and wonder why you didn't do it earlier.

You can do this. And you SHOULD. Stop settling for second best when first best is well within your reach. Don't let some "food" stand in the way of your hopes and dreams.

Hey!

Sounds like you are really stuck, huh? So, let me just list a few thoughts here for your consideration--and for what they are worth.

1. People who are serious about triathalon don't go without exercise. Maybe you're not serious about it! I hasten to add, it's OK if you really don't want to do a triathlon. Maybe you put too much pressure on yourself.

2. So far you're doing what folks do on maintenance (except that maintainers keep up their exercise). That's not a bad thing! Gives you practice for the rest of your life. No, really, this is what it's like to be successful after weight loss and maintain your weight.

3. I am completely freelance myself, and frankly, I would feel pretty ridiculous complaining about it.

4. What will it take for you to stop doing this? Gain 5 pounds? 10 pounds? How about 20, would that maybe make you start following your program again? That would put you at 202. Maybe you'd like to go alllll the way back to your start weight? And then add a few more?

I'm not saying this to be mean--I'm saying it because we hear it over and over again on 3FC. "Hi, I'm back, I dont know what happened, I had a life change, I got a new job, I moved across country, I got married, had a baby, my ____ died, I got divorced, I lost my job, etc. etc." There are many reasons why people go off plan, but when they do, they still have to start losing what they regained, no matter how "good" the reasons were.

5. Yes, you should suck it up and go to Weight Watchers. But you knew that. What can it hurt? It is what it is. Avoiding it won't make it any better.

All I can say is, good luck with this! Maybe it's OK for you to stay at this weight for awhile. But do it out of choice, not because of these ummm "reasons" you've listed.

Jay

Thanks ladies, I really appreciate it. I know I'm being ridiculous, heh. I really do have so much to be grateful for, the last thing I should be doing is complaining.

I guess one other thing is that I've reached the point where I've always been, for as long as I can remember, low 180-ish. I was in the 170s for a little while years ago, but basically when I look in the mirror now, I look like "me". And I like the way my (size 12) clothes are fitting, and strangers are being nicer to me, complimenting me on my funny shirts and holding doors open for me again... I guess I've reached the weight that I had a burning desire to get to. Obviously I still want to be lower, for the above reasons and because it's healthy, but actually being much lower than this weight is all theoretical for me. Which isn't an excuse either.

There's no weight loss law that demands you lose everything in a linear fashion, and there's nothing wrong with taking a break and allowing your body recover from the stress of a long-term calorie deficit. Of course, you certainly don't want to slip back into destructive habits, but if what you're doing allows you to maintain your current progress, there is no problem. When you're ready to make another push, just do it. In the meantime, don't let anybody tell you that you don't care about yourself just because you choose to maintain for a while!

Just wanted to say thanks again, everyone, after I read your comments on Sunday I really buckled down and got focused again. I've had an excellent week, I've dropped over 3lbs of water weight in the last 3 days, and I'm fully intending to have a good number at tomorrow morning's WW meeting.

I literally woke up yesterday morning and said, "I'm going to start biking to work." It surprised the heck out of me. Work is over 6 miles away, and it's hilly. And there's scary cars and tons of other bikers to contend with (Portland). But I've done it two days now, there and back, and WOW. I don't know why I didn't do this before. I was literally driving 20 minutes to the gym to TAKE A SPINNING CLASS. And here was this great form of FREE exercise sitting right there waiting for me to figure it out. Well, almost free, got a flat today that cost $10 to fix, but hey. By the time I get home, I've already done my exercise for the day, so I can laze about and not feel guilty about it. Priceless.

So thanks again for the kick in the pants, I really needed it!

jaja -

As a fellow tri girl let me tell you taking off is a slippery road... It sounds like you got it out of your system though so that's awesome.

Last year I lost enough weight to do my Tris and I was just a little bigger then your size so as long as your fit and not doing an endurance type you'll be OK as long as you keep exercising.

I went from 302 to 186 last summer. When My Tris were over I took some off time too. Okay, now look at my tracker. I managed to get all the way up to 239 before I stopped the freight train crash. I'm working my way backwards and it is a bit frustrating, but I signed myself up for another race at the end of Aug and I'm back on track. I plan on doing more intimidating longer races next year to help keep the fear of staying fit in me.

Good luck with your Tri let us know how it goes... take a few days to decompress and rest when you need it but don't let yourself make the same mistake I did.

(Edit to add I'm a bodybugg user too so we are in similar situations heh.