This is embarrassing, but I've never really been a goal setter. No wonder I've never been a goal achiever either ! This is as far back as I can remember ~ I'm 47 ~ and discipline and goal setting is just something I want to get a handle on at this time in middle-age. I want to amaze myself actually, and prove I can learn to achieve goals. I have always been a spontaneous person, who does well some-of-the-time under pure inspiration to be, who can be completely manic , obsessive, and over the top enthusiastic.... thus at times, productive as all get-out. But, there are those many weeks that pass where I am at a standstill. Nothing goes on as far as personal improvement, yet I yearn so much. (I am convinced I have mild and common manic-depression)

So here I am today, I feel like a little kid, starting out on a basic task in life. But as far as the Eating Plan goes, I really don't even know what to do or where to start. I would love to lose 60 pounds and get down to my twenties&thirties' lean weight, but I am in my late forties, and that is probably unrealistic. I'd be happy to settle for 40-50 pounds lost. The thing is that I don't want to spend a dime, I just want to learn discipline. Real discipline. I know I have it... it's just a foggy path for me, as I really am overwhelmed and dont' know how to make a plan for myself.

I really could use a torrent of ideas and encouragement from you wonderful people . As always, thanks in advance. ~Jen

One decision at a time. One hour at a time. One day at a time.

For your weight I would probably start at 1500-1600 calories. Food journal. If you bite it, write it. Check out whole foods. Try to cut the processed. Be efficient in determining your caloires. Get moving everyday. Walking is fine. Figure out your weak spots. When do you overeat? Find a way to fill that time with something else. Make the decision to get OUT of the patterns that deter you. Set yourself up for success. Do you binge? If so, on what? Get it out of your environment.

Finally, put nothing and no one above your nutrition, sleep and exercise.

You CAN do this.

p.s. Don't set some big goal. Make the goal to lose -1 pound at a time. Or decide on non-scale victories instead. Things like staying in range calorie wise each day, getting in your activity, etc.

You shouldn't have to spend a dime to lose the weight. Just make the choice to eat healthy food, smaller portions, and get some exercise. Start stringing together some successful days in a row, and you'll start seeing results.

Consider calorie counting as a way to know how much you are eating and the relative value of various foods. I'll never again eat one of those little Yoplait yogurts that my kids devour -- they just aren't nearly satisfying enough to warrant spending 170 calories on them!

If you want to set a goal, make it something achievable -- not something grandiose and far off. Given how you described yourself, if you make the goal too big, you'll lose interest long before you achieve it. Make it a goal you can achieve this week. Then make a new goal for the next week. And so on.

Good luck and keep posting!

I want to add that I am a whole foods nut actually. That is the problem ( and I'm sorry if I already sound like a whiner and excuse maker), but counting calories has always been really diffiucult for me because I make everything just about, from scratch. Well, not everything, but okay, today I will buy a calorie book and start journalling... fair enough ! I know exactly when I over eat, (binge, and it's even on healthy food), from about 10 to 4 is when my hunger is raging, regardless if I've eaten a good breakfast (yogurt , flax seed, blueberries, or poached egg on ww toast, or pb on ww toast. I see it as patterns, for sure, and it's all mental that way. Apetite has skyrocketed in perimenopause, so I've been really out of control lately.

Maybe goal setting then, more in the activity I do during the day (hard labor gardening, hiking, biking... more!!!) even more than the focus of calories of the whole foods I eat? I find that drinking decaff coffee is a good comfort *pause* for me, and I really am often satisfied without going to the fridge.

It's just that there's so many angles, like I said, I'm overwhelmed . (menopause on it's way, does't help). Oh, and I sleep as well as a perimenopausal person can,with phases of night sweats, often take naps, but get on average 8 hrs sleep every night (always have).

yes, one hour at a time... thank you Thighs.

Thanks Leaf ~ Yes, the yoplaits (I stocked up , then I threw them out) have high fructose corn syrup !!! Evil.

I have decided to learn to calorie count, starting today... and journal... which is the one thing I've resisted for years now. So I'm giving in. There's nothing to hide, as if embarrassment of doing that held me back, as I gained more weight. Who am I kidding? I have faith that you kids know what you're talking about, and WILL do that. First goal... to write it out. I'll learn to figure the calories as best as I am able with the home-made foods.

Very good about focusing on putting two or three days of being on plan together , instead of gettting dizzy at a lifetime of days. I want results sooo bad, as I am humbled at the state of discomfort I've put myself into with 60 pounds over my lean weight (and I'm a small person). The humiliation has been making me keep the wool over my head, but no more.

Goal 1 : write and look up calories.
Goal 2 : set activity goals up through the day, journal that too.

Set some small achievable goals. Reward yourself for making them. Be sure to look for the non scale victories as well. When the scale doesn't move you have to find the motivation to stick with it. We are older, this may take longer, prepare yourself for that. I remember when I first started last September. I knew if I stuck with it, I'd be thinner, healthier and happier in a year. Did I want to still be heavy in a year?

When I started reading labels, I learned to make better choices. Do I want the 300 calorie muffin or a bag of pretzels, some grapes and a WW yogurt? I learned I could have 3 snacks for the same calories as 1 item. If the serving size says 14 crackers, I count out 14, put them in a bag and put the box away.

It will get easier as you go along, you will get used to your new routine and as you are successful, you will be motivated to continue. Setting a goal for some sort of daily exercise is a good idea too. Get moving, you'll not only feel better, you will see results quicker.

Keep posting and looking for suggestions. We are here for you!

Wow - I totally echo everything written by newleaf, onmyway and thighs! You have a MAJOR advantage already in being a whole foods "nut" - in that you don't have the monkey on your back about the processed foods. I'm coming from the same place. Calorie counting is an awesome way to learn about nutrition density - if you get to a point where you might want to spend just a couple bucks ($20?) - get a scale - a FOOD scale. My biggest surprise was finding out what a true portion was!

Hermit - I resisted counting calories for years, too. I thought it was too nutty, too exacting, too anal for me. But what I learned was that when I truly focused on what had been my mantra -- healthy choices, portion control, exercise -- since the foods I eat are by and large very healthy, I actually wasn't eating enough. By a long shot. So counting calories has been very eye opening from that regard. And also from a portion standpoint, too. For example, I used to use a tablespoon to scoop out the chopped raw nuts for my oatmeal. When I started counting calories, I realized how much it was adding (!!) and dropped down to a teaspoon to scoop out the nuts.

You'll find your way... Also, you mentioned buying a calorie book. Depends how much time you spend on line / how much time you are home. I just look everything up online. Also, for recipes that you make, once you calculate the calories for it once, you can just reuse...

Journaling is absolutely a great place to start. Both for exercise habits, and food habits. What got me going the first time was a program that made me keep a food diary. I actually broke a 25 year, 6 pack a day, diet Coke habit in that program due to the diary. And lost 20 pounds. Very powerful tool.

I didn't want to work to hard at calorie counting - I used mypyramid.gov and their food tracking / calorie counters as my food diary. It also helps monitor your balance of proteins/carbs/ fruits, etc. Still use it occasionally when I feel I need to reassert control.

I just note my exercise sessions on a calendar. With a big red "X" on the days I skip! Bad girl!

If I skip, or fall off the food wagon, or get disheartened, look on here. If some of these people can lose 100+ pounds, my goals are very achievable. And I know I'm more stubborn than some of them are.

I weigh every day, but that's me. I won't beat myself up because it's up a pound - that just means to keep working. If you obsess too much, weigh weekly.

Small intermediate goals. Right now I'm at 162. First goal is 158 (that's where I was in February). Next is 152 (that was pre-holiday weight). Next is 148 (I get a new swimsuit!) Then 143 (Low weight since I was 27). I don't know what I'll come up with then - I'll be ecstatic when I get that far, even if I do have 18 to go after that. But you better believe that if I achieve that 18 pounds it will be in 3 or 4 steps.

And keep asking for help and advice and support. We're all trying to do the same thing!

Okay kids, I am going to write down my calories, that seems to be across the board , the one thing everybody suggests. I need help finding a decent on-line calorie chart... I guess not counter, as I plan on writing things down by hand, the old-fashioned way

Can you believe I just fell prey to TWO on-line programs, one that really wants money. I jsut want a good source for looking up calories. Not interested in fast food or packaged stuff, just scratch ingredients. I just looked over another calorie chart , and everything goes by search.... searched 'cracked wheat', and 'bulgar' and nothing came up. I mean , I cook from scratch. Before I give up on the calorie charts, perhaps you could help me find this tool ... Thanks !

I use fatsecret.com http://www.fatsecret.com/calories-nutrition/

and nutritiondata.com http://www.nutritiondata.com/

I like fatsecret.com the best because it is easy to use, not cluttered, and not trying to get my attention somewhere else. But on the rare occasion that I can't find what I'm looking for, then I go to nutritiondata.

I'm like you; I just write down everything I eat by hand. Then, however, I enter my daily intake into a spreadsheet. It makes it easier to do the calculations and also easier to look up past entries (since I seem to repeat a lot of the same foods; saves having to look it up each time).

I purchased the book "The Complete Book of Food Counts" by Corinne Netzer
It is pretty good.....but sometimes I look stuff up online too

another one that has both items you mentioned is caloriecount.about.com

Ditto cheekie and newleaf - I have a battered old Calorie Counts book and I like www.nutritiondata.com. Sometimes I need to go to Daily Plate for some obscure and strange stuff. My "journal" is just an extra tab in the Franklin Planner that I use for work.

Hi Hermit....

I'm too cooking from scratch and

check this out

http://www.3fatchicks.com/food-calorie-counts/