I've been lurking in the shadows of theis place for the last month and a half. I kind of went MIA when my Grandmother died. I still read and followed everyone elses progress but I was making none of my own. So like a big scaredy pants I didn't post. I now realise I have been doing much of the same things in my real life. I avoid people and don't have any real friends. I feel like I don't deserve them. i feel like who would want to be friends with me. Fat, boring, unsuccessful me?

Anyway I know all of this mind talk is BS and I can have the life and body I want I just have to work at it. I think I just now realised that I haven't been doing it because I don't feel worthy. I think that mentality has kept me from alot of things in life like friendship and success.

There has never been a point in which I stopped wanting this for myself but I dont think there has ever been point where I felt I deserved it either. I don't think I know how to feel that. I guess I just need to do it and the rest will follow?

Well, I have restarted my workouts. Walking 1 hour a day rain or shine. and trying so hard to eat better. I am REALY struggling with my eating. I do okay but not as well as I need to be. I have to work on my comfort eating at night.

So here's to a long and changing road to a new life. Cheers!

Tracey, fake it until you make it. If you do it consistently some beautiful things will ABSOLUTELY follow. For me it has been a journey of discovery. I have realized things about myself I hadn't prior. You know what to do. Don't consider the length of your journey ahead--just start moving towards your destination.

Put being healthier at the very tip top of your list. Make nothing more important than your sleep, nutrition and exercise.

Well picking up an exercise routine is a step in the right direction. You simply need to concentrate on the positive and leading a healthy lifestyle and the rest will come with time. Good luck!

I agree with Thighs Be Gone, just take it one day at a time, one meal at a time. The exercise will make you feel better and you will be happier as you start feeling more fit.

And hey!!!!! Post more often. Even though it is just a forum, there are some great friends for you here!

Tracey, I'm sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I know this must be a difficult time for you. There's lots of support and friendship for you here.

When I miss comfort eating in the evenings I try to distract myself with other activities. I drink lots of tea, read and knit.

Good job on restarting your workouts!