Ok, so it's my little nephew's third birthday today. That means there'll be cake, ice cream and presents at my mother-in-law's house tonight. Every time someone in the family has a birthday, it's cake and ice cream....homemade, chock-full-of butter and sugar cake with icing and full-fat, sugar-filled ice cream at 120 calories plus per 1/2 cup serving. So cake, even a small piece, and ice cream together is probably 300+ calories (I'm maintaining, but still count).

The past few times I've refused the ice cream and cake, and have kinda been pushed to the side of things. Everyone else sitting around the table laughing and talking...and me cake-less to the side. That'd be almost bearable, but at some point someone ALWAYS cuts me a piece and hands it to me, or tries to...or my husband even sticks a fork in my face and says to take "just one bite." If I say no my mother-in-law takes it personally, since it's a homemade cake SHE made....and if I do I cave and have a whole piece.

Even on MY birthday, when they asked what kind of cake I wanted and were told something sugar-free and lower calorie...I got something the total opposite and felt obligated to eat it anyway. Grrr....

Probably no real point to this...just kinda ranting...I hate birthdays.

Mindi, the world is full of ignorant and stupid people. Too bad some of them end up in our families.

My bday cake strategy is to accept a piece without saying anything except thank you. I don't say I'm on a diet or don't want any or anything that calls attention to myself. I just take the piece and mash it with my fork, swirl it around the plate, make a big mess, and say it's the best cake I've ever eaten. No one notices that I haven't eaten a bite. I've found that no one pays attention to what I eat if I don't call attention to myself by being the "different one".

Might that strategy work for you? It's a shame that we have to resort to such subterfuge, but sadly ... sometimes we do.

It's possible, Meg...if I can't find a way to say no nicely, I'll take a piece and give your suggestion a try...

That's my technique too, Meg. I really don't like cake much anyway, so it's not too hard for me to have it in hand and not eat any. I always ask for a small amt of ice cream, and that I might take a bite of. Then as soon as possible I put my plate down somewhere and wander off. When asked if I want more, I say it was delish and I'm full. Carrying a glass of something helps, too.

Yup just say thanks and take a bite then get rid of it. Though the way your family is I'm sure they'll watch you like a hawk... lol some people are nuts!

I'm not a fan of frosting anways and always scrape mine off- I always say it's just too sweet for me lol.

I LOVE the sugar! Problem is...since I've lost weight I've become hypoglycemic, and too much sugar (like in even one piece of cake) will quite likely make my blood sugar spike and then fall. I could account for the calories in my normal day's food consumption...but the sugar is the killer.

It's crazy...never had this problem when I was bigger. Only now that I'm thin...

There will always, always be cake and ice cream at birthdays. So, we have to find a way to deal with it.

My way is to see if they will let me cut my own piece. I'm pretty good at cutting a small piece. I figure in terms of cubic inches, and I try to figure ahead of time. 6 cubic inches of black forest chocolate cake is 120 cals, for example.

I also see if they will let me scoop my own ice cream. I am pretty good at estimating 1/4 to 1/3 cup, or a small scoop. I figure that out ahead, too. Sometimes people will have ice milk instead of ice cream. So, 60 to 75 cals.

Whatever, I've got food on the plate, so I can sit with the others and smile and talk. I may eat all of it, or not! I may eat really slowly! I may eat only half! But when I'm done, any I haven't finished goes in the trash. This is easier at a party--people aren't watching so much.

Yeah, so I've had something like 200 calories for the ice cream and cake. I can deal with that.

Oh, did I mention there are no seconds? And no taking some home? If someone hands me wrapped-up cake against my will, I thank them, and take it with me, and stop at a gas station and toss it in the trash.

For the blood sugar problem? Have some cheese or cottage cheese before you eat the cake. It will slow things down a little.

All kinds of ways around this--good idea to have a strategy.

Jay

I usually just say no, and don't take any. But I LOVE the suggestion of taking the piece, smashing it around and not eating it ... that would work great for the "but I made it just for YOU" situations. You can praise the cake and thank them graciously, and still not be force-fed.

In larger social gatherings, like at church, I've gotten very good at avoiding the food altogether. People figure that I've either already eaten, or I'll get something in a minute. I wander around with beverage in hand and no one notices that I didn't actually eat anything there. But in a small family party, that doesn't work .....

I think the mashing it around on your plate is an excellent idea. BUT - I might have a problem having it in front of me. The only time I would risk applying this method, is if someone made the cake especially for me. But I think that's highly unlikely since any one that would go to the trouble of buying/baking me a cake, pretty much knows me - and knows I'd rather not have cake at all.

I am just better off taking the decision making process away, instead of the should I just have one bite? Very often one bite turns into much more. I decide BEFOREHAND not to have any - and I don't. Usually. Actually just yesterday, I was at a morning breakfast party (a bris) and I had just one bite of cheesecake. Maybe there's hope for me yet with this moderation thing.

Well, I've been losing resolve a little recently, rockinrobin...I'm working on regaining it BEFORE I regain any weight!!!

Congrats on the one bite of cheesecake...that's something I can't be NEAR or things will spiral downhill FAST.

I hear you. Loud and clear. I do find that my "resolve" goes through highs and lows. And when I'm at a low, I need to really, really have a sound strategy in place and that's where the definite NO's come in handy. That's when I couldn't risk having the cake in front of me and mushing it up. Nu-uh.

Hang tough. You'll get that resolve back.

I was thinking about this on Sunday! I did get into the fellowship hall when there was a long line for food - I got a cup of coffee and sat down to visit. WHen the line was shorter, I got up and got some fruit - works well as 90% of all the sweet stuff was gone - and the rest no longer looked that appetizing.

The hypoglycemia is your out. I'm also hypoglycemic now and I quite literally crash in front of people whenever I eat cake/sweets/dessert. About 30 minutes after eating them I turn bright red and then really pale. I get dizzy and break out into a sweat and have to sit down.

No one in my immediate family offers me cake any more.

If you don't have such a dramatic physical reaction then might you just mention that you have a blood sugar problem and can't eat the cake?

Dagmar

I don't get THAT bad, all the time, Mudpie, but I've had those same symptoms before. Once at a funeral...nearly passed out just standing there! The other day I broke down and had a little bit of TWO really sweet desserts at my husband's granny's house...It was pretty bad.

What stinks about the whole hypoglycemia thing is that my husband refuses to believe it's an actual problem. He believes it's a minor issue, at best. It just frustrates me...his attitude AND the fact that the main reason I lost weight was to avoid the problems my family has had with diabetes, etc. Now I lose 80 pounds and have a blood sugar problem that didn't exist when I was overweight.

Makes me wonder if I MADE myself hypoglycemic...

Tomorrow is my birthday and Dh & I are meeting my parents, brother & SIL for lunch somewhere between us and them on Sudnay. Mom asked me last night if I wanted a birthday cake or just a hug and a happy birthday. Sounded a little disappointed at the thought of no cake. I'm thinking about it today... She makes a great triple chocolate pound cake, has made it every year for my birthday since I was in high school. Hmmm... Last year I handled it okay, but sent half of it home with her for my grandmother. Hmm...