Guys, I had a bad day and I didn't mean to.
I'm not the type of person who messes up and then thinks the whole day is lost and then go out and binge. But today I did mess up, a lot. And since one of my challenges to myself is to be completely honest with myself about eating, I was able to learn one obvious but awakening lesson, and one lesson that is interesting and optimistic.
What happened? I worked an extra long shift today so I was at the group home from noon until 10pm. Meaning I was there for 2 meals. Now, I packed healthy stuff to eat, but I always liked popcorn chicken and potato salad (which they were having for lunch) so I helped myself to 3 popcorn chicken bites and a little bit of potato salad. The potato salad was so good I went back for more. I'm not great on guessing portions, but I don't think I had a full cup of the stuff. But that's what I wrote down in my food log. (I always round up). Since this is not what I packed for lunch, I chalked it up to boredom eating. So we'll say 560 calories there. (I was indeed appalled to find out that my 3 chicken bites were 200 cal. They're one of those foods that no longer tempt me now that I know the truth.)
To make up for that, I decided I was at least going to ditch a piece of bread from my sandwich at dinnertime, and not eat the wheat thins I packed.
Boredom. Between lunch and dinner, all our clients were napping, staff sat around and watched tv and ATE. I watched one person devour half a can of pringles. I watched another person have two bowls of vanilla ice cream. I started out with a half cup of applesauce. Yummy. Still wanted something, so I went for my plan-ahead snacks. A couple of walnuts and 6 dried apricots. Yummy and healthyish still. But then I tasted a pringle chip and that was it. I did manage to stick to 1 serving though.
I didn't feel the need to eat by the time dinner was cooked. To be honest, with all the junk food in me, I wasn't really hungry. And by the time I was ready for dinner, I was content with my tuna fish/miracle whip salad on 1 slice of bread instead of a sandwich. Another thing of applesauce, and I was okay still.
On the way home from work, I don't know what possessed me to open the storage thing in my car, but I did, where I found an old 1 lb bag of Reese's pieces left over from my Christmas stocking. I think I left them in my car when I opted not to sneak them into the movie theater or something. Anyway, I KNEW BETTER! I did it anyway and every time I wanted to stop, I didn't. I got mad at myself and threw them away when I got home. But then, even worse, after I got home I saw my favorite carb loaded treat in the fridge and scooped out a bowl of my mom's homemade macaroni salad. That's one of the treats in our house that she makes once or twice a year, and it's always gone in a day. My now or never reflex kicked in and I ate it slowly and enjoyed it, but I cannot justify it in the light of the fact that I was not hungry, and I did already succumb to other junk the rest of the day.
End of background info, next post will be my lessons learned.
