So here I am again. Yo-yoing for years between the same 30 pounds (on top of the 25 more I need to lose). I just had to erase my old scale thingy on this site, because I gained all PLUS some from the last time. I don't understand why I am doing this to myself. I am getting married in October; I don't want to look like this. But at the same time, why is it not stopping me when I eat when I am not hungry? I know there is something more to this than food. I am trying to fill a void, but I can't figure it out. I am so sick of having this same discussion with myself. Where is my pride??? I came back to this group because I know the problem I have is not that I eat too many calories and I don't work out enough. That is like saying an alcoholic's problem is that they drink more alcohol than is recommended. There is a reason behind this, heck maybe several reasons....but I need to figure it out, because no matter how many fat free, sugar free, 100 calorie pack things I shove down my throat, its always still empty...and no matter how many cakes, cookies, cheeses or milkshakes I drink, I am never full. May be the support here will help me figure out what exactly I am trying to cover or fill with all this food.

Hey! Welcome back! Glad to see you have popped in again.

Fortunately, alcoholics do not have to figure it all out before they stop drinking--otherwise even more would end up dead!

It's the same for food in some ways, although obviously you can't just give it up. What seems to work for a lot of folks is to find a reasonable plan for eating that includes nutritious foods and controlled amounts. Not a plan that gives you so few calories that you're always hungry, because that's a setup for giving up.

You have many places to start, if you really want to. Have you consulted your doctor or a dietitian or nutritionist? Do you have Weight Watchers in your area? Have you read YOU: ON A DIET or other books on weight loss and nutrition? May people launch themselves into a plan that doesn't work for them for any number of reasons--it is too restrictive, it doesn't contain foods they want to eat, it involves too much preparation--it all depends on your lifestyle.

As for the why's, there are plenty of therapists who can help you look at what issues might be contributing. Some have a specialty in food issues. But remember, you can lose weight and keep it off without having to solve all your problems first.

Good luck! You can do this!

Jay

A big part of the process is figuring out *why* you have an eating disorder, definitely. It sounds like you have a binging problem, to which I (and a lot of people here) can certainly relate. It's an ongoing struggle to break that habit and develop new coping mechanisms, and it's *hard*.

First step: forgive yourself for making mistakes and falling down. You're getting back up again, and that's a big step! Trying again means you haven't failed.

Another big step is tossing the 100 calorie packs and the fat free, sugar free junk. It's just empty calories and it's fueling your carb addiction. Breaking a carb addiction is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I did it, so I know that *anyone* can do it.

Have you thought at all about plans you might try? What's worked in the past? Calorie counting is what I do, but something more structured like South Beach helps a lot with breaking the bad carb cycle in the beginning, I hear.

Or maybe you'd rather focus on exercise first. That will make you feel a lot better and maybe help you get motivated to change other things.

I know that for me, sometimes I can't find a single motivation other than this very ridiculous thing: I like how clear my skin is when I don't eat sugar. Even during TOM, I have clear skin, as long as I'm eating well and not binging on junk. It's silly! But it is sometimes the only thing that works for me. So you just have to find your little motivations to get you through when you feel your commitment slipping.

You know you've come to the right place for support. That first step is the hardest, cliche as it is, but we'll be here to cheer you on.

Thanks for the support. I know what I need to do and what works for me, its just sticking to it. Looking forward to getting back on track though.

Infrogwetrust

I have the same problem. I have been on diets in the past, lost a lot of weight, just to pick it up again. Each time I do do it for myself. This time again. I have realised why I keep on picking up the weight after I have lost it. It's the stress in my life. I can't get rid of it totally, so I have learned how to cope with it. When I stress, I eat. I do my grocery shopping more carefully, I refuse to buy quick snacks that can be eaten on the way home! It takes willpower - and more. Good luck to us!

It is soooo hard to maintain focus and intent when there is sooo much going on around us. Legitimate diversions ... real things ... like marriage, family, illness ....

Here's the thing to remember ... you don't have to start from scratch this time. You already know everything you learned with previous weight loss. Add on to that the things you'll learn this time.

You'll find that even very successful maintainers had a few yoyo's before they finally 'got it'.

Find some things that help you refocus. Like 3FC and magazines ... Don't let yourself get too far away from the straight and narrow. When you feel like you're drowning, give a shout out. We're here for you.

Have you ever thought about checking out Over Eaters Anonymous? They have chapters all over the place.

Just an idea... https://www.oa.org/

Maybe you're never full because those things really aren't food (except for the cheese), and your body is starving for real food? This made so much sense to me once I finally understood it; how someone like me who is fat can still be essentially malnourished. I would eat junk all day long but still feel hungry because I wasn't eating FOOD.

It's not that simple, obviously, or we'd all be slim and healthy! I also lost 30 pounds a few years ago and have gained it all back, plus another 10 or so. It's been a real journey, trying to pay attention to what I'm eating, what I want to eat, and why. I do know that I don't keep the 100-calorie snack packs around because I'm more of a 400 calorie junk snack pack girl, so I'd just rip open 4 or 5 of them! I find that once I just say "No" to the sugary, greasy treats (I'm a Cheeto junkie), it becomes much, much easier after a few weeks to just not think of that stuff anymore.

Hang in there, and good luck.

What I have learnt from past diets is to forget about all the low cal and 'fat free' snacks. They do not fill you so you tend to eat more. If I eat my 3 - 5 meals a day, I don't feel hungry and I don't have the munchies all the time. It's difficult for me to keep up with the regular meals, as I am out with the horses most of the time, so I take some fruit with to eat when I feel like it. Also, being out of the house helps, when I am home, I get bored and I eat.

I read a book fit for life or something like that, it said too that most fit for life people yo yo'd a few times, I have. I guess it's the process of regaining and losing again for the "last" time that you "really" commit to a healthy diet, not just "one" more diet to lose!

If you compare this journey with what alcoholics learn in AA you can learn that too. If you google over eaters anonymous I've heard there's an online forum for those who really are addicts to food. I'm learning the 12 steps in alanon which is helpful for many things in life, including the mean/drinking ex and how to detach. In this program you learn that keys to change are just admitting life is unmanageable and out of control. You admit your weaknesses and as a Higher Power for help.

Then it's daily commitments to change... if it's emotional eating then it's reprogramming the mind to not turn to food as an addiction, as I've done too in the past. Support is essential to making any major life change. That's what this forum here at 3fatchicks is so helpful, funny name and all. If you hang out here daily or every few days you'll see how many are struggling with similar issues, and who are kicking this in the butt... and are losing weight through support, challenges, frustration, shared successes.

I'd agree with others, first clean out the cra# in your diet, get rid of the junk in your kitchen, including the 100 calorie packs. They just make you crave more sugar and junk. I find that if I stop eating the empty calories and junk, I don't crave it anymore. The body is a wonderful machine, it adapts quickly to a new lifestyle... I regained from eating junk and eating out, now it's not even a temptation, partly because I'm working so hard to lose and be fit, I don't want to compromise the hard work either.