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Hi Girls.

I'm on vacation all week and for the last three days have been a total slug, down with some crud that my daughter brought home. It was a long weekend here (Victoria Day today) so my time off work officially begins tomorrow and of course I plan to be all better by then. Hubby and I are going to see Star Wars in the morning.

We've found an apartment, in the building we lived in last, one city over. It'll mean a drive to work again but we'll save $330 in rent each month! It's a ground floor apt, and much bigger than this one. We should be able to move in July 15th. Time to start de-junking.

Oh, and my sister has finally sold the family home and will be joining me in Ontario. She'll stay with us for a bit until she gets a place. I've offered to take one cat (she has four), and she may be bringing all four to stay for a while! That'll be six, total. MEOW!

I really haven't given much thought to diet recently. Don't even know what the scale says this week. Summer is practically here and I need to get moving!

So, what do you all say? Let's get our motivation and support back on track!

Hello all

Well my Dad's already gone. I knew he'd only stay a day then head home but it feels like a drive by visit... we had a nice visit and of course, as usual, I was all stressed about nothing. I had a great time with him, my stepmother and their 2 beagles (my canine brothers).

Nothing else exciting going on... starving and it's lunchtime - my body and the clock are on the same time today - amazing.

Have a great day everyone!

Terri

Punkin, glad the visit went better than you were anticipating.

I'm much worse today, so there goes my theory of being all better for my vacation. I managed to drag myself to the theatre with hubby, but it turned out to be too much of an effort and I ended up back in bed when we came home. Star Wars II was excellent, though.

Haven't eaten a bite all day. Hubby has just gone out to get me soup, juice, etc. This just sucks so completely.

Hi everyone
I had to take a bit of time offline as most may know I deal with depression and I am on meds for it.. But lately I been so overwhelmed with alot of personal things that I knew I wouldnt be any good at being supportive to anyone. I wanted to take care (Or at least straighten out a few things) so I could be more productive.. My depression was even causing a bad effect on my family, it was like I fell into a deep DEEP hole that I couldnt get out of, I wasnt social to my own household etc.. I am slowly gaining a foothold back to balance in my life..Though I am back posting I may not be able to post everyday I have acknowledged I still have a internet problem and I need to address that as well so I will be cutting back on my internet time and getting outside more.. BTW ( by the way) I am back up to 260..Someone kick me in the behind ..I could use it..OK enuf about that ..Now I have to check out the older thread as I type this so bare with me..
Wildfire.. Sorry you are feeling like crud..Hope whatever this crud is disappears soon for ya.. ( Why dont ya whip up a batch of eye of newt soup that might help ya out a bit.. But not the instant kind it is just loaded with sodium )
Flower : Hope things are getting better with you..
Punkin.. I just found out about the peanutbutter chocolate Oreos while I was on Hiatus and lets just say I was a complete pig guess I do go overboard when I get in a deep depression..
OK I know I have missed alot of people but I really gotta go.. Take Care all
Oh yea and WILDFIRE say Hi to Ruthie and let her know I am thinking about her if you get a chance to contact her..OK??
Thanks
Sheila

Hey ~ Everyone... Had a long day at work yesterday... didn't even look at my computer, 12 hour work days get to me sometime. I crashed and burned last night.

WF ~ I hope you feel better. I agree about Episode II, it was good, we saw it while we were being rained on at the beach...

Sheila ~ Hopefully this will pass soon, sending you good vibes- your in my thoughts.

Punkin ~ Glad things went well. I don't have a lot to say to either of my parents so it is strained when we are together.

Flower ~ Hope all is well there.

Registered for school Monday, Had not planned on my tuition being so much- I didn't get any summer financial aid so I am trying to figure out where this extra 1200.00 dollars is coming from.

Had a bad food day yesterday. I eat bad while I am at the hospital, I have got to get a better mindset. They fix a special lunch and food for peoples birthdays and such.. I do not have to eat it just because it is there ... then I junked it because I was too tired to cook when I got home bad me~!~

Well I want to get the kids to the library and get the grocery shopping done early so I can goof off with DH tonight since I don't have get up in the AM for work or school and the kids are out of school ...I can play EQ tonight and not feel bad!!!!

Got to run...

Hugs to you all,
Amy
New start weight
154-154-130

Hello. I don't have much to say. Just wanted to let you know I was alive and well. (or faking it till I make it). My blahness doesn't have anything to do with Chris. I am just so very restless. I have got to be comfortable in my own skin. I do believe it is that time of year. I am going to clean my bedroom today and do dishes. I may go run to Target. Gotta get bird and fish food at some point today. I forget how to relax. I have been on overdrive for so long. Chris wanted to take me out today but his work schedule got changed. I am so relieved. I don't yet miss him. We have bickered the last 3 times we have seen each other this week. I forget how to be civil. I don't want to date him unless I miss him and so far I don't. Not sure I ever will. I am enjoying just being alone. ~flower

Hello all

I found a note my Dad left me yesterday, he wrote it from his beagles perspective and they thanked me for letting them come visit and that I could stay with them when I came to Yuma next year. My Dad can be so incredibly funny...

Sheila - I hope the depression passes. I've been on all the drugs and unfortunately they don't do a thing for me but thank goodness I've managed to do other things that work. It'll pass, keep paddling!

Amyjo - I know what you mean when you get too tired and end up eating what you hadn't planned! I did that a lot while I was sick and have to force myself to not do it when I'm working late. It's soooo hard! Good luck with the $ for school too.

Wildfire - now you just knock it off and get better!

Flower - You sound like you're doing good. You also definately sound like you know what you want and that is a good thing! Yes, fake it till you make it. You'll feel like your old self before you know it.

Sad today... our vet is coming tomarrow to put Dusty down. She's given up and took a serious turn for the worse a week or so after the last appointment was cancelled. My Mom had to carry her into the house this morning and she's hold herself like she's in pain and not eating at all. When she does stand up her one good rear leg is just giving out and she stands there with her head held low. It's time and we all feel a lot more accepting of it this time.

Back to work...

Terri

About 5 minutes ago our old Dusty dog passed over. She took a rapid downhill turn after the last vet appointment was cancelled and it became very apparent that she was telling us it was time. The vet just left our house.
Any prayers to ease her crossing would be greatly appreciated. I've already asked my Grandma who passed in '99 if she could please be there to greet and take care of 'ol Dusty while she adjusts to her new surroundings. I'm sure she's running top speed through the Summerlands right now...

Terri

Terri ~ I am so sorry for your loss... it is never easy to lose anyone or anything.... I hope it will ease your pain knowing she is no longer suffering. My thoughts are with you...

Hugs,
Amy

Punkin, sorry to hear of Dusty's passing. I'm sure she's chasing butterflies and grasshoppers in the Summerlands, spry and happy once again.

I am STILL sick. I'm really fed up with it, too. My whole week off has been spent in bed, drugged, coughing, stuffy sinus pain, tired, dizzy....I've had enough, already! It's gorgeous here today, but I got up and made tea this morning and broke out in a cold sweat. Too soon I guess. I've gone through two novels already. Hubby bought me chocolate truffles to cheer me up, but I haven't touched them. I can't taste anything, anyway....what's the point?

Flower, how are you doing?

Sheila, welcome back! Hope you are managing to work things out.

Amyjo, EQ? Would that be EverQuest?

I'm going back to my third book...lying upside down on the bed so I can at least catch the beautiful warm breeze blowing in the window.

Where are Lamorgan and Eydie and Venus?

Hi all
Wildfire I hope you get over this crud you have.. Just rest and get better.. I know it must really suck to get sick on a vacation, but imagine having to go thru that while you are at work?? Your body need a rest you been running yourself ragged..
Punkin I am so sorry about Dusty.. I am sure she is watching over you while in between chasing chipmunks up trees and chewing on a 7 foot long meaty doggy bone..
Flower Hope things have gotten better for you..I know I keep repeating myself here, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel..Just getting to it can be tough..
Now I best do a little bit of truth telling.. My depression has been a little more intense than I felt like disclosing before since I didnt really understand it.. I have what they call manic depression ( a/k/a Bi Polar disorder..) I am really embarrassed about it, and one time last week I thought maybe my family would be better off without another nutcase walking the earth.. Obviously what I planned out didnt happen , I called a friend of mine and talked with her a while(didnt tell her a thing just talked small talk ) and made a promise to go see her the next day..( I am one that hates breaking a promise)I have since called a place to get more help in my depression for I see that meds alone cant fix it..But still just the same I am really embarrassed with having any form of depression since I remember when I was a child the nasty talks about my aunt that was suffering from depression how she was weak and lazy and crazy..My family (mom or brothers)doesnt know anything about the recent diagnosis, and even the people I talk to online dont know the extent of this deep hole feeling I get.. Especially one in particular , which has been my "online angel" for years now. Which I know I will have to inform him sooner or later but I dont think I would have the heart to tell him the extent of what this almost caused me to do..This is a chemical imbalance it isnt a mood imbalance due to enviromental issues.
Therefor with all this been said , That is why I was on hiatus , and now with better weather here I HAVE to spend more time outside for the air and trees and energy I get from my favorite walking trails have been a real uplift for me.. ( I know I sound a bit quacked but when in those woods I get a feeling of complete calm and peace) So if I am not posting as much it is because I have limited my internet time to a few hours a week compared to the 30+ hours a week I used to do.
Didnt mean to have bummed you all out but I thought it was fair to you all to understand I wasnt being anti social or snobbing you all off.. Just had issues to work on that is all
Take Care
Sheila

Sheila, thanks for confiding in us--that's what we're here for. Please keep us posted on how things are going for you.

Wildfire, feeling better? It just doesn't seem right to have 'the crud' when the weather's so nice, does it?

Flower, I've been keeping up with you--reading your diary and all--it sounds like you're going to be okay and that you're getting a handle on what you want.

Punkin, I'm so sorry to hear about Dusty. Trust me, there'll come a time when you can talk about what a love she was and can look at pictures of her. It's always hard to know when to take that last loving step with an old friend but they really do let you know. I fully expect when my time comes to be led to the Summerlands by all my animal-friends that have passed. Makes me all teary [in a good way!] to think what a grand reunion that'll be!!

Well it's my birthday and I wanted to take my favorite 12-mile hike. Started early this morning and it took 5 hours exactly counting the breaks. Very strenuous hike but we did it! I'm 39 today and I feel like I'm in limbo--I want to tumble over into my 40's. So my plan is fit and fabulous by 40--what do you think?

I'm doing alot of gardening these days--I miss Lamorgan's posts. She's an inspiring gardener. Are you out there, Lam?

eydie-happy birthday!
sheila-hugs!
wildfire-get better soon!
hi amy hi punkinseed


I just got back from a walk around the swap meet. made excellent time, unfortunately, i had an hour left before dropping off the kids and heading to work, so I came home and got online. i am doing fine, talking one step at a time. it is really wierd not having any plans, hopes goals for the future.
I don't know how to live just for today. it was always live for tomorrow. i am trying!!! ~flower

Hi Girls.

Sheila, hope you are good spirits tonight, wherever you are. You know, being bipolar is something that can be managed. It isn't something you have done or caused to happen. Now that you know, you and your doctor can get it sorted out and you'll feel much better. In a way it's like my (or E's) IBS....we can't get rid of it, didn't cause it, and have to look after it every day. I think getting out more and cutting back on computer time is a good idea for most of us!

Eydie, Happy Belated Birthday! I hope you had a great day. Nice to see you back, too.

Flower, your plans and goals will materialize with time. You're still in the adjustment phase. One day you'll suddenly realize, "Hey...I wanna do THAT.", and you'll do it. I think you're doing marvelously right now.

I think I may finally be on the road to recovery....with one day left of my vacation. (I go back to work on Tuesday) I still have a cough and one of those horrible little tickles in my throat that make you cough until you're gasping for air. The last two days my whole head hurt....like it was bruised on the inside. I think my sinuses are really hurting from the last week, and when I bend over it feels like my brain is shifting at the back of my head. Needless to say I've been trying to avoid bending over. Yeah, I'll probably wake up Tuesday and feel pretty good. Of course.

I'm going tomorrow to put the deposit down on my new apartment. Not a moment too soon, either. The idiot who manages my building left us a notice on our door that starting tomorrow and until next Monday we cannot park in our underground garage. Ok...doesn't seem like a big deal....except that there is NO outside parking on the grounds. They've arranged for us to get parking permits to park on the surrounding streets, but not within two blocks of our actual building. I pay $80 a month for parking!!!! I am so steamed about this. When I come home Thursday night close to midnight I might have to walk anywhere from two to six blocks by myself! I will get great satisfaction telling the super that I want to fill out that form telling them I'm giving my 60-day notice when I pick up that parking permit in the morning.

After being sick for what seems like forever, my interest in food is pretty low. I think this would be an opportune time to dust off my WW material and start counting points and journalling. I think I might start that tomorrow.

Hope everyone is well, and hope to hear from you all soon.