I'm an old member. I've been off and on here since 2004. My highest ever weight was 376. I'm sitting less than that now at 320 but still a far cry from my lowest 276.

I've been trying to restart since the beginning of the year and I just can't seem to do it. It's so much more fun and much easier to eat things that taste good and eat when I want to. Heck, it seems like most of the time I'm not really hungry. I'm just an emotional and compulsive eater. I'm 32 and I still can't conceive a baby like I've always wanted. All I have to show for trying for almost 3 years is one early miscarriage. I know that losing weight will help. I know that it will make life easier and make me happier. The problem is that I still can't "be good." I can't get on track, I can't get motivated.

I have anxiety because I know I need to do it and I want to yet I can't. I was looking into weight watchers but I can't afford it at the moment and there are no meetings in my area. I know I lost weight once. I just don't know why I can't now. It's frustrating and I've been beating myself up over it for weeks. Ugh.

WELCOME BACK!

First you need to stop beating yourself up.
Second have you picked some type of plan? Doesnt mean you cant change plans after a few months if its not working for ya. But you have to give it a chance.
Third start some type of exercise routine?

Make some choices. Put your daily, weekly, monthly goals on poster board in the kitchen. Plan your week in regards to meal plan, time to exercise etc. And give your self a little gold star for each daily success. Reward yourself at the end of the week with a non-food reward like bubble baths, foot massages, romantic encounter, the list goes forever. I know some say not to weigh in each day. But it helps me to see a number each morning. Gives me the visual reminder of WHY I choose to make healthier choices. The desire to be healthy has to be stronger than the desire to have fun with junk food. I have recently learned to appreciate that one square of high quality chocolate is much more rewarding to enjoy & savour than eating 6 peanut butter cups. BOTTOM line is that you need to make a choice each and every day and take it one day at a time! YOU CAN DO IT. I know you can. YOU just have to want it bad enough! I have faith in you. You Can Do It.

Heather those words could practically have been written by me. I know exactly how you are feeling. I have been trying to get back on track since I got off it back in November 2007 when I added yet another rare illness to my health issues. I know the meds I am on have a lot to do with my lack of motivation, they make me want to sleep all the time. I've put back on nearly all of the weight I lost a few years back, and I hate how I look and how I feel. I hate even more that knowing how much better I am in every respect when I am much lighter I still haven't been able to get back on my diet for more than a day or two. Tomorrow after a weekend of positively making a pig of myself I am going to try YET again to get back on the losing trail. If I can do it, you can do it, let's motivate each other and get all the support we know is in abundence here and lets get losing!!!!!

Hugs,

Ammi

I don't have a plan at the moment. Before, I just tried to eat "better foods" and drink lots of water. I've been doing pretty good with the water, it's just all the mindless eating that I've been doing.

Give these a little read...

http://www.ehow.com/how_2174869_pick-diet-program.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_2161070_cust...diet-plan.html

Thanks! I'll take a look. I think my worst obstacle is compulsive type eating. I'm an emotional eater too so that doesn't help!

Me too. If I have a hard day with the kids, (dh is a truck driver so not home much) they go to bed... I sit and eat to comfort myself from parenting stress and sometimes for being lonley. It is really hard most evenings cause we have a convience store in out apt bldg. They close at 10 so if I can keep myself busy and stop from sneaking down to the store I count that as a huge victory and success.

What is your emontional trigger? Can you plan alternative activities when you recognise the urge to eat to soothe yourself? I find painting my nails helps. Cant eat when they are wet then you have to do a second coat. And if the urge is not gone by the time 2nd coat dries. Maybe a top coat is needed! LOL

Read this one too!

http://www.wingsfortheheart.com/weig...tness-tips.htm

Hope you don't mind me jumping in here, but the above struck me and I just wanted to say something.

You know, you are right. It IS fun and easy to eat what we want. I totally agree!

However, there can be "fun and easy" on one end of the spectrum, and "hard and horrible" on the opposite side of the spectrum -- but guess what, there are many, many shades in between.

Maybe what's stopping you is the feeling of having to jump from one end (the fun and easy end) to the opposite end (the hard and horrible end). I just don't think you have to.

For example - if you love coke and drink a lot of it, the opposite end would be to completely give it up. Not fun, not easy, and pretty horrible. however, you could find a way to make it better like, only drink one coke a day, or one coke every few days, etc.

you know what I mean?

~CGH~

I'm an emotional eater, which can be a downfall for me. I've been wondering some things that you have posted like "why can't I do this?" because lately I've been stuck at the same weight and feeling overwhelmed.

It is like, we want to be comforted, but can't get what we need so we turn to food to try to comfort ourselves. Only, that makes us feel bad in the short and long term. It is like a vicious cycle, you can't get better unless you face these things, yet facing them makes you feel lost and needing comfort. One step at a time..

You're not alone, clearly by the responses, and I just wanted you to know that we all understand and support you. *hugs*

Thanks guys! I'm determined to be good today. I'm sitting here with a large pack of sugar free gum. Hubby swears that I have an oral fixation and that's part of my food issue. I can get sugar free life savers, but it doesn't work as well as gum because there is no chewing involved.

The good thing about this is that I've still been drinking my water these past few weeks (most days). I try to get in as close to 100oz of plain water and herbal tea as I can.

welcome back.

i wanted to say that i read your post and wanted to hug you.

maybe the reason you aren't losing weight is because you just dont see the point anymore? i'm so sorry to hear you've not been able to conceive but you're right, losing weight really will help. right now that's my biggest motivator!

Sure it's nice to eat everything you want but who said that dieting meant bad food? I eat pretty much wwhat i want, i just do it as low fat as possible and eat smaller portions to control my calories. it still tastes just as good!

stop beating yourself up and remind yourself of the reasons you want to lose the weight whatever they might be. the more your beat yourself up the hrader it is. you will be able to do it - you've done it before and there's no reason you won't now either.

good luck. we're al here if you want to talk

heather, good luck sweet girl. You can do this!

I was also/am also an emotional eater. I never thought there was a correlation before I started tracking it. I eat for boredom, depression, anxiety, etc.

I can only tell you what I have had success doing. I have success when I try to replace my eating with something else--in my case, it's other guilty indulgences. I shop, or watch TV when I should be doing something else, or surf online when I should by doing xyz. I know it isn't an answer long-term, but for now it has been helpful.

Another thing I really enjoy is cooking. I have changed the way I cook and try new recipes that are super healthy that work for us as a family.

Again, you can do this. Take one decision at a time. When you reach for something when you are not hungry--put it back just once and go do something else. Try it again sometime soon after that--maybe even the same day. You could also try to find a very short exercise program--like 10 minutes or whatever and make yourself just do the ten minutes even if you don't want to. Just give yourself tiny goals.

Hi Heather. I think you can see from all of the detailed responses you have gotten so far that what you say strikes a chord in many of us. You are not alone. I have been where you are... and I'm not sure what I can say to help, what the words are that you need to hear. You've gotten some great advice already from other posters but if I could emphasize anything it is the importance of small changes. Don't try to be perfect, and don't make yourself miserable by cutting out all the foods that you love. Just start slow and start small, and you will get there. The time will pass whether you do something or not, so you might as well do something right? I know you can do this.