I finally know for sure that this is true. I am seriously prone to having an addictive personality, my mother is a (recovering) alcoholic, all my aunts and uncles are alcoholic, my grandpa died from alcoholism. Because of this I've always been wary of drinking, but I finally realized that I haven't avoided becoming an addict. I feel powerless over my cravings. I'll do really well for a few weeks then just binge like crazy. There is something about the near sick feeling you get after stuffing your face that soothes me in a weird way. But its not just that, when you're eating you don't have to think about things. It distracts me. I have been stuck between 162-157 since early November. I can't seem to move passed this. So what am I going to do when I need to distract myself? Not sure yet...
From now on I am going to focus on health more than weight. I tried to do this before but I was still obsessing over the scale. I am going to stop eating less than I should. From now on I am going to eat between 1200-1500 calories a day, I am going to exercise when I can. I will be leaving my scale at my parents house, that way I can only weigh twice a month when I visit from school.
I am cutting out all the junk I eat. I am going to focus on whole healthy foods. I am sticking with my vegetarian diet, I am going to cut out more dairy. I am going to eat more fruits and vegetables. No more artificial sweeteners.
Here's to a more HEALTHY future.

