So yesterday I had an experience that I would like to share.

A little background first: Up until 10 years ago I never had a problem with weight. I then started to take ( in 1998) antidepressants and gained a total of about 70 lb over all these years.

Finally in November 2007 I managed to get off them and have been totally medication free for....well, one year and two months now.

However, I THOUGHT that by stopping the medication the weight I had gained would just..... fall off. It didn't.

I realized yesterday finally for the first time, that it won't. I have been fighting it and denying it and fighting it for one year and two months, the thought that it will just "fall off" and I can eat what I want and exercise when I want because eventually I'll get back to normal naturally.

Yesterday I went to get a 6" turkey sub. Before I could stop the lady making my sandwich, she squired full fat mayo on my sandwich. I gasped a little inside but took the sandwich anyway. As I was walking back to work I kept thinking about the mayo. Then I stopped myself and said "this is RIDICULOUS, you're worrying about a little full-fat mayo? What is wrong with you?"

And then I realized "YES - this is definitely the type of thing I need to think about. I have to work off the mayo. I HAVE TO work these things off!!"

And then it hit me, and all of a sudden I completely let go of the fight that I have been fighting for one year and two months. The pity party I have been whining about, "but why do I have to worry about this, I never had to worry before, but I'm off medications now...it's not fair". ETC.

I GET IT. I DO have to worry about it. And just like that, I felt like I broke through my own resistance, and started a new journey.

~CGH~

It isn't fair, is it?

Thanks for posting that...cause it's totally true.

awesome

did U ask for mayo anyways?? just curious lol

I said "a little bit of lite mayo". lol.

~CGH~

They have done that to me before at Subway. I take vinegar only there--NOT oil and vinegar. I have made them remake the entire sandwich.

Even tho for different reasons, I too had to have a mental breakthrough, yes, I really am fat, I'm ticked off about having to deal with this, but I do have to deal with it, me and no one else.
Good luck on your journey, I think that first step is the hardest.

good for you. I understand about the anti-depressants. I gained a total of 30 pounds in a year and a half ... EFFEXOR XR is the devil's pill. I wish you luck, and know you are not alone in fighting this battle~

No, it's not fair, is it? But no one ever said it was going to be. *sigh*

I'm happy for you for having your realization. This sounds like it could really be the start of something.

It's hard to be able to pinpoint where things went wrong and then not be able to reverse them. I look back at so many more bad habits I used to have and even though I don't have them anymore, I still suffer the consequences.

I would also like to say congratulations on being able to ditch the medications. I hope to be there one day too, but I guess it just takes time.

Good luck.

I'm so happy for you! It's not easy, but you're finally getting there now!