look, ladies it's the neighbor here. we'll just call him E. he's a PhD, nosy, whiny, a pain in the....

when i first arrived here out of the hospital, E and his wife caught me on one of my exercise trips up and down the driveway. they were appalled at my size [mind you, it was now down at least 60 pounds from the highest weight].

i told them about being in the hospital, and i told them about planning the surgery. and being unemployed/disabled, and we haven't talked since.

so, today, mom and i came home from some errands, and E was digging around his front yard, and came over to talk. he asked if i was working, and i explained the situation to him.

and now, HERE IT COMES....

he asked me if i had gotten around to having the bypass surgery yet!!!! i'm standing in front of him, more than 100 pounds LIGHTER than the last time we talked, and HE DIDN'T NOTICE A THING!!!!!!

soooo... being the oh-so-polite person that i am [oh, quit gagging, peachie!!!] i simply said that i'd had it at the end of january, and gave him the figures.

can you imagine not noticing ANYTHING if someone has lost more than 100 pounds?????????????

it just goes to show that some people just don't notice anything if it's not hitting them upside the head!!!!!!

thanks for letting me vent a bit....

Tactless - yes. Stupid - Weeeellll. If he had only seen you that one time, he might just have forgotten what you looked like before. Guys, especially "skinny" guys, tend to ignore or forget larger women so he might honestly have thought there weren't any changes. Not trying to defend his tactless question just maybe an explanation of his apparently rudeness.

Either way -- Forget the jerk and congratulations!

Hi there Jiffypop
I know just how you feel...........I had lost over 120lbs 3 yrs ago (still another 80 to go) and my husband REFUSED to notice!! Needless to say, he isnt my husband anymore! (but thats a whole other forum)!

Dont worry about him Jiffy, hes a selfcentered creep who didnt deserve a moment of your time. You keep up the the good work!

Robin

Robin I hope he was the 120 lbs you lost!!!!

no kidding aside. way to go! I have to agree with jo jiff men just do not totaly pay attention to things like that. all they saw was a large woman, and i have a feeling that even the next 100 they will still ask! (sorry they have to be such dopes) My DH has a hard time sayint that i am looking good with 60 down!

But any ways way to go girls!!!
I AM PROUD OF YOU!!!!!

Wow Jif--as if it was any of his damn business to ask in the first place! I would say that you were much more generous with an explanation than I would have been, as few choice phrases are popping to mind Don't look outside yourself for those who refuse to see changes in their small world. This guy isn't worth your time or your explanations which you owe NONE to anybody! And p.s. on a personal note, I wish I could see how fabulous you must look

You should have decked him.

peach

Jif,

I also had weightloss surgery. I had the DS in April 01, and have lost 140 lb since then.

People have varying reactions, most incredibly positive.

This man sounds particularly insensitive, although I agree with the others that perhaps it is not intentional. Men do tend to be rather clueless!

I had an experience that sort of popped by bubble, so to speak, the last time I saw my surgeon. I have gone from 324 to 180ish, and think I am looking pretty darn good. A woman in the waiting room asked me if I had my surgery yet, or if I was a preop. I was so surprised by her question, thought for a moment about feeling hurt, but finally decided it was pretty darn funny.

Luckily, there will be more positive reactions than negative. I've found most people either say nothing, or make really positive comments.

Dawna

Hey Dawna! big congrats on your weight loss!!! I hope you are feeling great! I am Jiff's real life sister so my comments are really just sisterly!

soooooo.....

Hey Jiff...Remember, this is the man who planted an apple tree two feet from his house and could not figure out why his gutters were getting clogged!....and remember the time he got on his roof with a chain saw and the neighborhood voluntarily evacuated?

peach

and for jo and sue, yeah, you're probably right, peachie and i KNOW FIRST HAND that he's an idiot. in fact we've all wondered how he managed to have nice kids.

and dawn.. so glad you're doing so great. a friend had the DS a couple of weeks ago, and landed back in the hospital because she DECIDED that she didn't need to drink water, but she could go out to dinner the day after she got home and eat cajun fried catfish!!!!

and your experience just proves that people don't notice. that woman who wondered if you were preop probably has no sense of her own size....

robin.. congrats on losing the 120 pounds, and then the additional 150 pounds or more of fathead!!!!!!

PEACHIE... i missed the chain saw incident!!!!! and where did the neighborhood evacuate to?????? and with how much bourbon and scotch????

POOKY.. you'll have to talk to peachie about pics. she was SUPPOSED to take my picture each month, but has she???? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

and she THINKS she has an excuse because of da boyz!!!!!

Oh, Jif. Try not to let it get to you. It's the way you feel about yourself that's important, not what some boor of a man says. I know from experience how it can hurt not to have your weight loss noticed, or even worse....have someone you haven't seen in a long time say "You've put on a few pounds, dearie, haven't you?" when you've just lost 50. Of course, the last time she saw you, you were 80 lb lighter. Ya can't win.
Also, try to remember that to some people a fat woman is simply a fat woman (men in particular because they don't understand nuances or subtlety whereas most women will notice a change in your hair part). Whether you weigh 160 lb or 360 lb makes no nevermind to these people. Unless you're stick thin you are not a real person to them so ignore him.
Also, the fatter you are to begin with, the longer it takes before anyone notices a difference. It's sad but it's true. That's why it's so important that we judge ourselves by our own yardsticks not anybody else's.
I think you've done great. Let's all give this gal a hand....and you other gals who have done so great. Good for you all.

Jiff all I can say is "dumb neighbor."

Let me share a story my sister told me. My little sis lost well over 100 pounds in 2000. She has a nosey neighbor across the street. While my Mom and Dad were visiting my sister the neighbor stopped my Mom and wanted to know what kind of cancer my sister had, since she has lost so much weight. So maybe it is better he not notice

Jiff you are doing a wonderful job, keep up the good work.

Debbie

I just read all your posts and OMG....... People are STUPID !!!!

Jiffy, let me tell you one thing I have learned in my 37 years. I used to be so intimadated being around people who went to college and had degrees, etc.... I would just hang my head.

Well since I started working in the Pharmaceutical industry (14 years now) there is one thing I have learned and that is no matter how high of a degree you have that doesn't qualify you as being smart. There are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many Doctors and people with degrees out the ying yang here. But one thing they don't have is NO FREAKING COMMON SENSE. Book smart they are but take them out of thier comfort zone and they are STUPID !!!!! The guy that lives next to you is just a big @ss wipe. Let me know where he is and I'll let Susie do ka ka on his lawn (Susie's my dog ).

Huggs to you and I know you look marvelous darling !!

Love, Leens

Tip and I can not tollerate people that lack common sense..... go ahead and ask her (if you dare).

Let's face it....there are some really stupid people out there. Personally, I really don't care about anyone's opinion or remarks.
Jif, YOU and the rest of us know your success, so don't bother with the horse's *** that is your neighbor.

What is really hilarious, friends, is that my grand daughter, Kayla, who will be thirteen soon, has my attitude and I haven't even taught her it yet! Oy vey! Wait until I teach her my one-liners. (One is "Your opinion means less than nothing to me!") I have a few others too.

Just keep on keeping on and be happy!