i dont know whats wrong w me. but i have this constant feeling of guilt even when im not overeating or bingeing. like if im not eating only salads and vegetables and being super strict, i feel like im not making any progress and the guilt rushes in. am i just crazy?? i think so.

i go out of my way to make these healthy recipes that taste amazing, but then when i eat them i end up feeling like i failed. like they are too tasty to be so healthy. and i feel like im cheating. like if im not suffering, then im not doing it right. same with exercise. i feel like if i didnt sweat or almost die, it wasnt real exercise.

oh wait, i think i just realized whats happening here. its all of my self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. hmmm.

for instance, i read other posts, sometimes ppl write they ate pizza or cookies or chips, really casual. like oh well, **** happens, move on. but if that was me, i'd be over here lamenting about how my efforts are futile.

so once again, is it just me. ugh im frustrated. and its late. ill prolly edit this post in the AM to have a sense of fluidity rather than obscure rambling.

I now how you feel about the exercise ... i don't sweat, some times i fell like ,it now working ... but i keep trying .
And for the food Saturday is my worse day .

i'm sorry, i don't mean to make light of this or anything, but when i read the subject line on the main page, i saw "extreme quilt" for some reason.

QUILTERS BEE, SO EXTREME! GNARGNARGNAR!

haha damn you aml!!!! im tryin to get deep here. talkin bout quilting b's...........sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

i'm sorry. i don't mean to make it look like i don't think it matters, just quilting...you know. we talked about this earlier today, i think it's just because you're too good of a cook.

Just like belonging to an extremely strict religion with high expectations, maybe you are trying to subscribe to an extremely strict diet. I think guilt comes from not being able to meet expectations and it's quite possible that your expectations are unrealistic. I mean eating healthy food and exercise.. seriously what more can you do? I don't know you but it sounds like you have some limits for what constitutes healthy eating and exercise, but maybe those limits are too narrow.

I've worked with people with eating disorders for a few years and I spotted a few posters who likely have them on this board. I'm not saying you have an eating disorder but some warnings signs are all these negative feelings you are having despite logically knowing that you are doing things in a healthy manner. Sometimes our brains will trick us: you'll feel better once you cut your calories. So you do. Then it says "Actually, you aren't doing enough, you need to cut calories AND exercise more." So you do. Then it says "ACTUALLY..." and so on. It can be a downhill fall, just the same way eating something high-calorie can set people off into a huge binge, so can restricting yourself more and more. Even myself.. I was eating over 2000 calories, then I cut to 1800, then 1600, now I'm at about 1400 and I know I could be eating 1200 and still be okay.

I'm not sure I have advice for you but it helped me to turn to math. I figured out naturally I burn 2000 calories a day. So if I exercised 500 and ate 1500, I'd have a deficit of 1000 a day to lose--or 2 lbs a week. Even if I don't lose 2 lbs a week, I have confidence that it will even out in the long run. Maybe if you set a high mark, like, try not to go OVER that mark, you will be more forgiving of yourself. I am. I ate a 270-calorie ice cream waffle yesterday and my total calories was still 1390. If I didn't know my calories I probably would've thought I was being too indulgent.

It's just worrisome when you say that you feel you'll only be successful if you eat just salads and exercise until you are exhausted... because if you get to that point, whose to say you won't feel like you need to eat fewer salads or do more exercise.

Anyways, sorry if I'm way off base. "Knowing" people through the internet is pretty much impossible, so I'm just trying to guess at your situation based on your words.

i'm sorry you felt that way. :hugs:
anyways,
- not all junks food/bad food taste good. We all know that for the fact. So, the other way around, not all healthy food taste bad. So dont think that if it's too delicious then it's not good food.

- idk but what kind of dieting plan are you following? Calories counter? SB? etc... ? Anyways, with any plans, count your limit calories you'll have and: Think of eating enough calories as a way of survive, not a way of dieting. I don't know if this helps you, but I used to feel guilty about eating (yes ED). But i have to tell myself everyday that "if i don't eat that enough calories then i'll die very soon". That helped me, so i hope it helps you too.

When I first started eating whole foods I experienced something along the same lines. I always thought healthy food was supposed to taste bad but when I started cooking and realized I preferred the healthy stuff even more than some of the tasty bad stuff there was some doubt there as to whether I was really improving my nutritional habits. The good thing is the scale and the tape measure unlike my psyche are consistently objective so I have tangible proof i.e. pounds and inches lost to prove my progress.

After reading your post, I realized I have been feeling this way somewhat as well. I'm finding that I really enjoy the healthier things in my diet and I'm really happy about that, but lately I've been feeling a nagging sense of worry that I'm not doing it right or something. I think it's because I used to carry the mindset that eating healthier would mean depriving myself of good tasting things. Since I haven't been feeling deprived, I started to doubt that I'm doing enough to be healthy even though logically that's not the case. I'm just going to try to ignore that feeling if I continue to lose at a healthy rate though. I've decided I'll only tinker with my activity level and my calories when I hit a plateau.

ding ding ding!!! you hit it right on the money, girl. that's exactly how i feel. i'm not losing 1 or 2 lbs a week, and i dont feel like i'm getting any thinner really. so i feel like i must be doing something wrong. its worrysome to my psyche.

haha i swear i thought you said "turned to meth...."

but anyway. thank you for the post. i know there's something wrong with my thought process. i harbor alot of guilty feelings towards food. it's really a love/hate relationship with me. and where im not sure if i have technically speaking an eating disorder, i definitely have issues. compulsive overeating, bingeing, guilt from eating, etc.

i've always been obsessed with food and dieting, ever since i was a fat 12 year old. ugh, this is kinda personal, but relevant, but when i was younger my crazy stepmother used to force me to eat large copious amounts of food. to the point of being sick, or finding ways to find it, flush it down the toilet. that's how i gained weight when i was a child. so i grew up forming this weird relationship w food.

and now, as an adult, i look in the mirror and i see a fat 12 year old. i see no progress. i have a difficult time accepting that i'm "losing weight". i have to try really hard to convince myself that i've even lost a few pounds already. i know this sounds strange, but i honestly, believe the scale can not possibly be right.

this is what is frustrating. i can not accept the idea that i'm being successful in my weight loss, which is causing my feelings of failure.

I sometimes feel that way too -- I had an unplanned for string cheese the other day and I felt like I'd broken a law or something. But of course, that kind of thinking is just as disordered as thinking I can eat the whole bag of string cheeses with no consequences. AND if I don't absolutely feel like keeling over and dying after a workout, I feel like I might as well not have exercised at all. Ridiculous, but that's how I feel sometimes too.

I have a huge guilt when eating. and each morning I say to myself "when someone offers me something to eat today, I will say no", but guess what, it has yet to work. My worst is my late night "meal" I usually eat dinner at like 5:30, about 8 I am hungry. Instead of just eating a snack, I usually eat 2 cans of campbells soup and sugar free pudding or yogurt (if there is any in the house). I have come to the conclusion that when I grocery shop, I have to stop buying the foods that I eat when I am bored.

I too know how you feel. I get so discouraged if I haven't lost 10 pounds after being on a diet for two weeks. My logic tells me I'm being ridiculous to expect that, but my fat belly tells me I'm a failure. So instead of sticking with it, I say "what the hey" and go back to eating awful fast food, chips and cookies. Then I feel awful that I've put on more weight and the cycle starts over again. Food and guilt is not a good combination. I don't have any advice for you, as I still am dealing with it myself. Like the other day I ate peanut butter and about 40 peanuts, and I was only supposed to have 20 peanuts all day long. Then I ended up crying to my fiance because I ate way too much and felt ridiculous, over freakin peanuts!!! So, I feel ya girl. At least you have an outlet to talk about it with no one judging you. Maybe just getting it out will help a bit?

It is not just you. You're not alone. I feel that way sometimes too. If I don't go to the gym when I'm supposed to, I feel bad about myself all night- even if I skipped because I was sick.

It's really easy to be hard on yourself. We're our own worst critic and our best motivators. I don't have any magical tricks to beat your own brain, but I was so sad to hear that you feel all alone. You're not alone. I bet many of the women on this site have done emmotional damage to themselves at one point or another.