Ha my life is so drama filled.

I have been dating a guy for 5 years long distance and he is 23. He has always made the worst food choices of anyone I have ever met. Eating half gallons of heath bar ice cream in one sitting, cookies, brownies, drinks almost a gallon of 2% milk a day with Hershey's syrup (gotta have his choco milk), McDonalds breakfast 2-3 times a week, eats out a lot. When we were in school together taco bell like everyday mixed with Jack in the box etc. I have always told him if I ate what he eats on a daily basis I would be as big as a house and be dead from a heart attack. I also always warned him that it would one day catch up with him and he would have weight issues along with other health related stuff. He has never had a weight issue his whole life. His parents had to beg him to eat to keep enough in him to be healthy when he was little. I have always had weight issues and when I would talk about it with him he would just say stuff like " well honey you just need to stop eating and start exercising more" etc. Yeah real loving....anyway. I'll give him that he has changed a lot since I have been doing this WW lifestyle and its working.

Well.....

He went to the doctor Tuesday because he had a sinus infection, and while he was there he also had a bunch of blood work done because his mom has been on him about it. He got back the results yesterday, he is about 50-60lbs overweight and his cholesterol is double what its supposed to be. High cholesterol is hereditary in his family along with a multitude of other weight onset health issues

He got the your gonna die if you don't change your eating and exercise habits talk from his doctor and his mom. His mom has been telling him for years though. I am almost surprised he isn't more overweight than he is. In his defense has a very high manual labor job that keeps him on his feet and lifting very heavy objects, however, that's all the exercise he gets. He just goes home after his night shift stays up about an hour and goes to sleep for like 10 hours a day. (I wish I could sleep for 10 hours a day)


I approached the subject very gingerly with him because he wasn't very happy about it. He doesn't want to give up his 2% milk, or extremely bad eating habits. He is like a 3 year old having the hissy fit of his life at this point. I tried to encourage him and say that we could now go workout together and have weigh-in days together and compete with who can lose the most weight safely and we can share this journey together. He wasn't at all thrilled. He said well you can come and play paintball with me then. I am not a glutton for pain so I asked if he would just go walk with me and Ill go watch him play paintball.

How do I encourage him and not beat him over the head about being healthy? I have never had do this in reverse

I want to see him succeed and I know he can do it.

I think the best approach is the loving approach. Tell him that you love him so much & you just want him to be healthy. It would be terrible to have to deal with high cholesterol & all that other junk.

Don't be too pushy because that will just upset him. Just as it was a choice for you to decide to change your life, he has to make the decision himself. Hopefully, the doctor really scared him into a lifestyle change, but if not, it's not up to you to make sure he does it. It's a process everyone needs to go through. Like I said, the best thing to do is to love him & express your concern for his health...just don't push.

On a side note, I'm really sorry. I would be upset if my husband got a result like that. So, I totally understand your concern & worry!

I'm so sorry to hear about his health problems. I know that when my father was diagnosed with diabetes he reacted the same way. I tried giving him healthy recipes he could make and even set up a 30 day (different recipe) meal plan. After all this he still threw fits about how he couldn't eat anything and he loves bacon and usually could eat a pound just to himself. Side-note: no one, I repeat, no one should ever eat a pound of bacon...talk about fat! Anyway, you need to tell him that you love him and don't want to see him die, but if he doesn't want to change his life you can't make him. Unfortunately weight loss is only something you can do if you actually want too. Hopefully after he gets over the initial anger of the test results he will start to change his life. Just let him know you are there for him and I'm sure he will come around.

I am going through this very thing with my dear friend and adoptive mother. She is 318 as of this morning. She is down from 384. The problem is she has completely stalled the last 2-3 months and is now gaining. I know she will die (she is over 60) soon if she doesn't stop. She has been incessantly sick for about two years straight and repeatedly hospitalized. I can't imagine my life without her. Thankfully she aknowledged this morning that she knows she needs to get back on it. She asked me to look up how many calories she is supposed to be eating. She also acknowledged that she has been on a binge of processed foods for several days. I wish I was closer in proximity to her so I could help her more.

I think the best approach is to make sure that you are being a good example of eating well and getting exercise. He has to be the one to decide to make changes for himself. If you keep dropping comments, he will take that as nagging and that may make him want to follow your advice even less. But if he can see how your life is changing with loosing weight, gaining confidence, getting stonger, etc, that will make a difference.

I agree with Beth.