this week has been a total mess for me. i'm not even sure why. i was doing really great lately too. really on track. my running has been great. started adding sprints, added harder biking on non-run days. even started reading a book about emotional binge eating. so what happened...

monday, wednesday, and today, i binged at night. all ranging in average of 3000 calories for each of those days. i'm trying to be objective and think as to why i've been doing this. maybe part of me is sad that i didn't have thanksgiving this year for the first time in my life. maybe its bc i didn't track my calories as hardcore and obsessive as i usually do. maybe my period is coming through soon. maybe i felt entitled or something. i have no clue.

but now i feel guilty and fat. i'm even starting to question if the weight i lost was ever even lost in the first place. like perhaps it was all just water weight, and i'll be back to my SW again tomorrow.

i don't want to dwell on this though. i don't want to just sit here and feel sorry for myself and feel defeated. i need to forget that all-or-nothing mindset. nothing has been ruined by a bad week. i need to just put it behind me and move on.

i'm feeling rather frustrated

stellart,

Good for you to analyze what it is causing you to want to binge. Are you getting your fiber and water? What about getting your healthy fats in? One night this week I ate like 600 calories in halloween candy. Yuck I know but I did it. My cycle came on the following morning though so I chalked it up to that. I keep reminding myself this weight deal--well, it's a journey not a race. I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life.

I think you're way ahead of the game by recognizing it and already knowing the answer. You just pick up and keep going from this moment on. The goal-maintainers aren't those who never did what you did, they're those who always picked up and kept going. As far as feeling like you never lost any real weight - I understand the feeling. It's weird how a person can lose a lot of weight, and some days you just feel the same as when you started. BUT ... what I have found is that it's a feeling that passes. You just choose to ignore it, and usually by the next day, maybe even later the same day (especially if you work out, hint hint), it just goes away. You can do it!

that is an excellent remark you made. and funny because i was thinking about that all morning before i even read this. the ppl that lost 100 pounds or even 20 pounds, but finally got to their goal... it's not because they never screwed up. it's because they didn't give up once they did screw up. perseverance is the key. patience. determination. these are the qualities i need to strengthen, not my willpower to overcome indulgence.

i really need to have the confidence and belief that i will and can do this. it's easy to chant "believe in yourself, or no one else will" when i am feeling good and confident, but it's quite another to maintain that mindset when i'm feeling guilty or full of self-doubt.

Hi Stellart,

I've struggled with similar setbacks and I recently recognized that learning to deal with my lapses is as important as losing the weight. The lapses are the challenge for me and what keep me from being smaller and also from ever maintaining weight loss. I didn't get to be overweight from eating carrots, afterall! Therefore, I've decided to look at my lapses as challenges and even as opportunities. They are an opportunity for us to figure out what it is that keeps tripping us up. I say to myself, I've done it again, I'm angry with myself, I wish I hadn't but now I'm going to deal with it and each time I'm going to learn something more about myself so maybe one day it won't happen as much, or at all.

Perhaps you already do this, but I recommend writing in a journal afterward and it's really hard for me to sit still and write and focus on what is really bothering me but there is usually something or some bad habit. For example, for me, a few days ago I was surfing the net and snacking and before I knew it, I'd eaten way more than I intended to. It's probably obvious to all of you but I had to take the time to relearn the classic lesson: don't eat while doing something else. I think it's also hard emotionally with Thanksgiving. So to make a long story short, don't beat yourself up! Also, it looks like you've lost a lot of weight and that's terrific!

Stellart, this has been a bad week for me too. Wednesday it was McDonalds. Thursday, Thanksgiving. Friday, Pizza Hut and today, Nachos & candy. The scale has been amazingly forgiving, I've actually lost weight. I can only think that my body is making up for all the hard work I've done until now but eventually my body will also take into account the junk and extra calories... :P

I was so on-plan last week and pretty much when I overate at Thanksgiving, it triggered something and my appetite just swelled. I wanted bad food and a lot of it.. and no exercise!

I just hope I didn't set myself too far back. That's the worst feeling... working so hard to lose a few lbs and then gaining them back and having to re-lose them.

Anyways, let's get back on the horse!

For me, working on issues has tended to prompt eating struggles, so maybe that book is touching off some things for you?

I'd be pretty bummed about not having Thanksgiving. Not just for eating reasons but for emotional ones.

Hang in there!

I know that one of the things that always used to lead to my binging was a feeling of failure, disappointment, and self-loathing from my past slip-ups. So, don't let yourself feel bad about this week- you enjoyed your holiday, so what? You have a whole new year coming up to set things right.

you know why you ate as you did which is good and now you can focus on getting back on track. we all do it once n a while. but at least you know why you've done it.

Hi Stellart...Maybe your bingeing may have partly been set off by real true hunger due to being so on track and adding harder exercise in? If that's the case, maybe try eating a little bit more each day (like 100 cals or so of protein, fiber, etc. whatever you like that fills you up...also depends on your current cals) and see if that helps. Of course, I could be totally wrong! Just trying to explore the angles.

On another note, I think that your mindset of progress, not perfection, is a good one. It's one that has helped me lose 30 lbs. since the summer, even tho goodness knows I've had my fair share of slip ups. What is different this time, tho, is that in the past I would have felt so frustrated, ashamed and hopeless after a binge, I would quit...I had an all or nothing mentality. This time, I made up my mind to get back on track as soon as possible....and it is working. In the grand scheme of things, 30 days on track and 2 days off (which is my case) is not going to derail my weight loss. I am also noticing that when I do binge, it is soooo much less severe than before. I like treating my body well now. I think this is because I have finally learned to respect myself.

Hope you're doing better today.

-Jen (Day 5 binge-free)