When I was smaller, I would try very hard to be good-looking. It made me feel good about myself. I would do all the lovely things a lady would do to groom herself, make her smell good, and beautiful. Now that I'm huge, I stopped doing all of that. I don't even put on make-up anymore. I use to not be able to leave my house without make-up. I don't wear my favorite bath & body works lotion anymore, and I don't shave my legs as much as I should. I feel manly. I don't really see any point to look nice anymore until I lose weight. My boyfriend doesn't say anything to me about my looks. He never complimented me in the first place.

I have to go. finish this post later

Ummm... how to put this...

Well; ok, it's taken me a year to get down to being as huge as you.

And the reason that I'm losing weight is because I decided that I wanted to continue having a rich, full, life - travel and tourism, exercise and enjoying my body.

And I am enjoying the body that I have - I'm not going to wait until I get to some arbitrary number to treat myself with every bit of respect I deserve.
And that means nice combed hair and good personal hygiene. I'm not really into make-up, but I do sometimes. I use nice body butters, and get my hair cut regularly. And I dress like everybody else at the fitness center, in sweat pants and ratty t-shirts, and I don't care that my butt is bigger than theirs, because I'm doing this for me.

Fear that you hit a button
Remember, you are a perfect child of your god today, and you do not have to change a single thing about yourself to be worthy of love and happiness.

I guess the only thing I can say is Confidence is beautiful. Just portray confidence. Even if you don't 100% feel confident on the inside, walk, talk, dress, look, and act like you do! Eventually, you will start to feel it on the inside too. It is like when you fake smile for so long, that you start smiling for real. People will react to whatever you put out there.

And honestly, your weight does not determine your beauty. There are plenty of skinny women out there who do not portray confidence, who are not happy, and who as a result, are not pretty.

For me, weight loss is part of treating myself with respect, just as how I keep my body clean and groomed is about treating myself with respect. What goes in and on my body is an expression of what I think about myself.

i NEVER used to go out of the house without makeup and my hair done etc. but i have gone through spells where i let the stress of daily life get to me, and i let myself go. i don't cut my toenails or paint my fingernails or wear earrings. i put off getting my hair trimmed or coloring it when the roots grow in. i find myself walking around the grocery store with unwashed hair in a ponytail and no makeup. lol

it's ok to not look perfect all the time. no real practical reason to get all dolled up to run errands . but the truth is, when i take time for myself my stress level goes down. when i get all fixed up, even if i have no where to go, i feel better about myself, am more confidant and pleasant to be around. my boyfriend says i'm always beautiful. but i don't believe him unless i actually feel beautiful.

don't feel like you have to lose weight to be beautiful. true beauty is on the inside, and being confidant is what brings that beauty to the surface! take care of yourself for YOU, not anyone else.

I've been there. I was a slob. Here's what I've found: when I do all those things you mentioned, it's *easier* to eat well and exercise. It all feeds back onto your motivation. Do it!

I bet if you start using your favorite lotion, shave your legs and wear makeup you will START feeling pretty/good again.

I find that once you start letting one thing go, another thing goes, and then another, and on and on until you spiral out of control. then you sink deeper and deeper into depression and it's awful.

Even the smallest things I do make me feel better. For example, taking all my vitamins each day. This tiny little thing -- if I don't do it one day -- I honestly feel out of control and guilty and bad. Add that to anything else I didn't end up accomplishing, and I go home and feel like absolute sh*t.

so my point is, taking control of the little things can have BIG results :-)

Just try it for a week and come back and report to us

~CGH~

220 at 5'6" is _not_ huge, and certainly not large enough that you should give up on your beauty routine because it just "doesn't matter." Don't be so hard on yourself -- I guarantee nobody is judging you as harshly as you judge yourself or thinking about how "huge" you are.

I guess I lied about finishing my post, but you guys got the drift. Lol.

I'm 20, and I wear a pony tail everyday of my life with no style. I see other girls my age with beautiful hair. I don't see how they have the time to do it everyday like that. But maybe I should wake up earlier, lol. When I do do my hair, blow dry & straighten, my face is so sweaty by then, it's horrible.

I did shave my legs today (with my boyfriend's razer, shhh) and put lotion on and I did start feeling good again.

I don't have much confidence or any friends. I'm not really a people-person, but when I'm 21 and go to bars, I want to be presentable.

Anyways, thanks guys for your input & suggestions

See? that wasn't so bad was it Your boyfriend will be none the wiser!

Don't worry about the "people person" thing. You don't have to be! Bars suck anyway....you'll begin to see that soon enough! I'm 34 and can't even remember the last time I went a bar. They're just full of immature guys mackin' on superficial twits. BORING!

~CGH~

agree entirely with that post CGH! in the uk we go out from 18, in fact i was out at 16/17 as ive been my height since 14 yrs old!

bars are STUPID, horrible places for overly preened girls who love themselves so much it makes me cringe, and stupid guys falling over their own tongues at the chance of being with one.

i enjoy live gigs, i enjoy girls nights in, i enjoy Playstation with my boyf. FAR more than i ever enjoyed bars.

do what makes you feel good, who cares about the norm.

You are beautiful, everyone is in their own way and sometimes we need to take that time to do the little things that make us feel beautiful x

I just thought to add a few things. I don't think "taking care of yourself" must equal shaving your legs, putting on makeup and wearing lotion or doing other "girly" type things.

I wear makeup only when I want to. If someone can't appreciate my face the way it is, that is their problem and not mine. I shave my legs rarely, usually only when I'm going to wear nylons because I don't like it when the hair sticks through. The only women who don't naturally have hair on their legs are prepubescent girls, and I'm not going to apologize for something that naturally happens to an adult woman. I don't always wear lotion, but I often wear a scent because I like to smell nice.

The point is that taking care of yourself involves doing those things that you value. If you don't want to leave the house without makeup because it is important to how you feel, and you know that not wearing it is a sign that you don't respect yourself, then that's your own values. The goal is to do those things that show yourself that you value who you are and you are worth it, whatever those things may be.

I didn't want anyone to think that I think people must wear makeup or shave or do such-and-such to be treating themselves right. It all comes down to you and your own determination.

i'm much the same. i dont wear make up cos i go to work and come home and that's about it. i'm the only girl at work so who cares right?

BUt i still make the effort to shave when i need to and to do my hair cos it does make you feel so much better. no matter what your size, you deserve to feel good

I think KristasMom has a really good take on this one.

But I especially love her closing sentence. Very beautiful, very true. And we should all remember it.

I have definitely felt the same way, as far as feeling "manly" and almost like I didn't deserve to make time to take care of myself, like I didn't deserve ne, nice clothes until I lost weight, but I feel now that it was just an unhealthy way of looking at things. Losing weight is my goal, sure, but I don't have to feel like I'm punishing myself until I get there, though I still don't feel fabulous about myself. I think it might just be a self-confidence or body image issue more than anything about beauty or wearing makeup or whatever, pampering yourself a bit just feels good and when you feel good, you might be better motivated to do more things for yourself, such as reaching weight goals. For about a year I refused to leave my house except for work, and only because I couldn't pay the bills otherwise, I didn't want anyone, even family and friends, to see me, I felt that I looked so bad. I'm rambling...