Last spring at 277lbs I was rejected for the gastric bypass surgury because a heart problem was dectected during all the pre-op testing I did.
Since then I've managed to gain 7lbs, have been depressed because at 5 days prior to surgury, was told I wasn't having it. It was a terrible emotional upheaval after months of preparation. I'm trying a nutritional program along with calorie counting and carb control.
I have such an overwhelming amount of weight to lose and it seems hopeless but I don't want to give up. Anyone else out there denied the surgury? The doctor I was working with really left me high and dry as far as options or counseling. I'm glad at least I found this forum.

I have about 40 lbs to lose and sometimes I find that overwhelming, but I know other girls on this site who have more to lose and often say it helps them to concentrate on their weight loss by small goals. Just aim for losing ten or five lbs, and go from there. Break it down into chunks.

But you're so not alone, and you can do this. We're all here for you

I have never been turned down for WLS never even considered it actually, but the above poster gave some good advice. I was 259lbs when I started weight watchers, I set a small goal for myself. Thinking about ALL the weight I have to lose is to much to think about all at once and scares me. I lose 10lbs at a time and so far I have lost 30lbs. You can do it and we are all here to help you

I wasn't turned down for surgery (I decided to try one more time with calorie counting and exercise), but I want you to go read the goal thread. Many, many chickies here have lost 50, 100, 150, and even more without surgery.

Spoz was right - you just do it 5 lbs. at a time. Succeed. Repeat.

You CAN do this. Really! You CAN!

Spoz was right on with breaking it down to smaller goals....that has helped me out a lot I've never considered WLS, I can see why you would be depressed. Remember though when one door closes another opens!

Good luck and join us at the 100 pound club if you want! Those ladies are great

Remember, one day at a time. I know that when you are dealing with depression, it is really hard to think about the future and making goals. So what I do is try not to think about the past, but look towards what I can do today. Then, at the end of the day, I try to let it go, and start fresh tomorrow.

It is hard, but I know you can do it. One day at a time.

very wise advice above - but, i have a few Qs for you - and i'm asking this because, even though everyone agreed that i needed the surgery, they wouldn't do it until i was healthy enough to withstand it.

sooooo, did the doc say 'there's absolutely nothing we can do for your heart condition, and therefore we can't do WLS'

OR did he say something like:

'we have to get this heart issue under control.'

it's possible that he was actually trying to say 'we can't do this NOW, but if we lick this heart problem, we can revisit this issue.'

whaddaya think? or am i just being obnoxiously optimistic?

I don't know what to say, except echo the same thing that others have said. We are here for you and Jiffy has raised some really good points.

Just wanted to add...WLS is not the easy way out! I had it and after 10 months, still struggle with portions, exercise, cravings and a lot of the downs of my food addictions as much as I did before...there are people that HAVE one surgery or the other and do not lose a pound or gain it back because they were expecting it to change the brain as well as change the size of the stomach.

So I say, do the lifestyle change and work on the "why I eat" stuff with a good counselor. It's more important to realize that YOU ARE WORTH THE TIME AND EFFORT to take back your life, with or without surgery.

Angela

Yes, it can be overwhelming at first but possible - just look at my stats. If anyone had told me 18 months ago that I could lose 100lb I would have laughed at them. Surgery is not the only way.

Kitty

I've not been rejected for the surgery, but I did research the surgery and found I'm not a good candidate for the surgery (so would be rejected by a competent surgeon). All of my doctors agree that I'm not a good candidate for the surgery for multiple reasons, especially being extremely prone to staph infections and autoimmune issues. I was referred to a rheumatologist who was very pushy about the surgery, and said there was no other way I would lose weight. He was very persuasive, and made the risks seem inimportant. Although he wasn't really addressing the risks, he was just telling me it was worth the risks, and that I would be able to find a surgeon willing to do the surgery. Later I realized that only I could determine whether it was worth the risks - not a doctor who wouldn't have to live or die by them - and finding a doctor "willing" to do the surgery didn't make the surgery any better an idea.

Instead of pursuing surgery, I dropped that doctor. It's been slow, but I've lost 60 lbs, and I'm sure I can keep losing more. It's a lot slower than surgery, but it's got it's advantages.

I haven't had surgery, either. And if you take a gander at my ticker, you can see that I have quite a job ahead of me. I could and sometimes do get overwhelmed by the road ahead. Sometimes I get discouraged and fall off track. But, I have found, as other posters have that taking small steps, thinking about the here and now and not allowing myself to dwell on the long term makes this project far more manageable. The support I find and give here at 3FC is also key. This place is my weight loss lifeline.

WLS can be a wonderful tool for the right candidates. But it isn't a cure for obesity. Nor is it an easy-out. Those who have the surgery still have to work very hard to learn a new lifestyle in order to lose the weight. And if they hope to maintain their loss, they must work that plan for the rest of their lives. Just like those of us who don't have surgery.

Don't despair. Don't give up. This is doable. On June 4th of this year, I weighed 74 pounds more than I do now. And I never thought I could come this far. But I have. And I am going even farther. Day by day. Sometimes hour by hour. Pound by pound, I am making this happen. You can do this, too. I know you can!

I was denied the surgery. I was 5'5" and weighed 231 lbs. At that weight, the only way they would of done it is if I had diabetes or high blood pressure or sleep apenia. I do not have any of those things. So, I decided to do it the hard old fashioned way since I couldn't take the "easy" road. It was a big disappointment at the time, but I'm glad looking back I did not have it.

I didn't have the surgery either and still managed to loss 200 pounds with Weight Watchers. Even if you have the surgery, you have to be disciplined enough to restrict what you eat and how much or the weight comes back. I exercise 5 times a week at Curves (I'm 67 by the way). Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you need to give a healthy lifestyle a try like those above are doing. We are here to help you and cheer you on.

QuilterinVa, 200 lbs!? that is totally amazing, do you have photos up? If not, you really should put some up. i know personally i love to see success stories, it keeps me motivated! :-)