Barb!

50 lbs down since AUGUST? Do I have the date right? That's amazing. You deserve a huge round of applause!
Terri, Saw you say that gas was UNDER $2 where you live? Wow! Wish I was up north!
Okay – I know I was MIA all last week. I was quite upset by my WI on October 25 and just really…well, I don't know. It showed my back at 255. Meaning that in 15 weeks going to WW meetings, I had lost a total of .6 lbs.

I was in tears at the meeting and really, just depressed. I know I haven't been perfect, but really, I haven't overeaten either. I just feel like I should have done better. This weekend, November 1, was back down 2.5. It doesn't excite me. I've decided two things. 1) I'm not even bothering to change any tickers or personal info until I'm 5 lbs down two weeks in a row. 2) If I'm not firmly in the 240's by Thanksgiving, I'm quitting WW. I can't justify paying $40 per month for nothing.
Two things happened this weekend that perked me up quite a bit. First, on Halloween, I had a couple of work-friends over and we had "ladies night in", watching TV, drinking wine, talking about men and generally being girls. It was a LOT of fun. But in the middle of it all, one girl – 20 years younger than me – I'm literally old enough to be her mother- was talking about hating her photo on her State ID and I mentioned that I really needed a new one since I was over 300 lbs on the old one and don't look anything like it. I made some offhand remark like, "Not that I look great now, but way better than I did then." And she looked at me and said something along the lines of, "I can't believe you would say anything like that about yourself – You are just a striking! You have gorgeous skin and hair and amazing eyes and – you are just a striking woman. I look at you and I think 'That's a WOMAN'!"

I have never in my ENTIRE LIFE had anyone say anything so complementary about my looks. I'm still somewhat awed by the fact that anyone would see me that way.
Than Saturday at WW, my friend (who hasn't lost either in 16 weeks) mentioned it was 16 weeks and they gave us our charms. I said I hadn't planned on mentioning it since I hadn't actually lost weight! I also made sure to tell the newer folks not to panic, because I'd been following WW since Feb 05 and it DOES work – telling them about my loss and regain when I went crazy at 100 lbs off – but that I'd just been bouncing up and down the same five lbs since starting meetings. Someone said, "Are you sure you need to lose more? You don't look bad, what does your doctor say?" Now I KNOW I need to lose – heck at 250 I'd have to be 7 feet tall to not need to lose! But it still made me feel that perhaps my perception of myself is a little worse than how other's perceive me.
All in all, the two remarks this weekend have given me a boost. It's made me feel better about myself and in turn, given me a boost back OP. I'm doing fine so far. Stayed OP…even with the candy – that's what flex points are for. So I'm looking forward to a better week.
I also know, (thanks to the WW meeting turning into a "how to get Lilion off her plateau" meeting) that I HAVE to start exercising. That's clearly the worst part of this. I'm still finding it incredibly hard to get that done. I worked NINE HOURS on Sunday – so not time then! I would have done a nice long walk to work today, but I had a huge box of office work to bring in! So…
Gosh, I just realized how long I've been typing. I need to get moving and on to work. So anyway, now I've reported in and you know what's been going on here…So I have to run!