Hi Girls,

Do you have a good sense of style or taste? Do you like flipping thru Cosmo or whatever magazine and look thru clothes and hair?

I need help... lots and lots of help. I've been wearing my hair in a ponytail for 3 years straight. I do not go shopping. I own 1 pair of shoes I go to work in, and have flip flops when I'm home.

Also... I have 1 pair of cargo pants that I used to wear everyday.. Also for about 2 years.

Weight loss challenges aside, I need to work on me. I "just" moved to SoCal and have been here for about a year. I haven't met any friends yet :/ I'm generally very social, but its different when you have friends who love you for you... and when you move someplace entirely new.. and slowly come to the realization that you are not entirely presentable.

I'm to a point of really severe depression. I overheard some people at a party trying to figure out how old I am.. I was anywhere between 2-5 years older with a couple people my age. They thought that I was much much older........

Help me not look like I'm well into my 30s and help me look like the kid that I am, I'm still in my 20s and I want to go to parties and have fun... but mostly I want some girlfriends. I know.. I look frumpy. I wear my sweats and t-shirts. I know it would help me if I felt good when I go out to meet people... but trying to meet girls at bars to be friends is just kind of weird >-< but thats another problem for later. (Not sure where to go to meet people!)

I'm awful at surfing for things. Can you help me pick out an easy to manage semi-long hair cut/style?

I have an oval face, very fine hair (sits flat on my head now from having it in ponytails for all these years)...

I would love to learn how to put makeup on too.. I wear some sometimes.. but I dont know how to do that swoopy look that my friends do.. they are all into that rockabilly scene. When I try using liquid liner it comes out all crooked :x

Lastly, maybe help me pick out some dresses/outfits to wear? I'm very pear-shaped... so I try to wear dresses (knee length) that can hide it sometimes.. My body isn't quite proportioned well (yet! )

What can I do to look my age? I know I act it, but being locked up for a year with no one to hang out with except co-workers during work hours has turned me sad and dull I don't want to be a work-a-holic.... not without having some girlfriends to pull me away from the job once inawhile for a martini and chats.

I think updating my hair would be a good first step.. please let me know!

I'm sorry for the long post... Just been doing a lot of thinking. I'm trying to spend the next couple of months working on me.. Improve a few aspects of my life.. health-wise, socially, work-wise..


Take care!

Bekko

A good hair dresser should be able to help you with a hairstyle that looks good on you. Same with make-up. Go to a cosmetic department in any large store and they usually give free makeup applications, even if you don't buy anything. I do this all the time when I want to pamper myself. I get lots of new ideas and feel no pressure to buy anything. It's lots of fun and a great way to treat yourself for weight loss. You could probably get similar help in the clothing department. Really, I would just ask.

Try a little makeup at a time until you feel comfy with it. Maybe some mascara and lip gloss to start? I wear only a little makeup-- lip color and powder.
Also, remember, lips or lids! Either your eyelids are colorful, or your lips are colorful, not both. Atleast, that's what I was taught. I'm sure there are braver girls who can pull of both, but I ain't one of them ha ha!
Also, do you have a picture of yourself? I bet you're already gorgeous!
BTW, I also rock the ponytail way more than I should, lol! I agree that you should ask a hairdresser about hair ideas. I'd ask a few though and get some different opinions.

Hey Bekko:

I totally understand where you are coming from. I've been there and it is hard to get out of the rut and figure out what to change. I, too, recommend going to a new hairstylist. I saw someone's hair I liked and asked them who they went to and then made an appointment. Tell the stylist what style you are thinking about (magazine pictures are good). Be realistic about how much time you want to dedicate to your hair and ask for a cut the requires low maintenance. Going from ponytail to 2 hours of daily hairdressing isn't going to work.

Make-up counters in the mall are another great suggestion. A lot of time they have free samples to try out before you buy.

For clothing: Have you looked at virtualmodel.com? You can make an avatar that looks like you and try on different clothing to see if you like the look. I'm loving the new wrap dresses that are out. They work with any body type and are versatile: wear as dress, with sweater, with skinny jeans or tights underneath, with heels, with boots, the options are endless. Again, you can ask people you see with the style you like where they shop.

For meeting new people: Do you have the time and money to go to a class? I've met a lot of new people attending pottery classes, bookclubs, college courses, etc. Find something that interests you and pursue it. Craigslist is good for this.

Just take your time and schedule time for you.

Viking Girl

I don't know how your budget is, but one of my friends actually has a buyer who buys clothes for her that are age appropriate and fit her style. She tries them on, keeps the ones she likes and that fit and then the buyer takes the rest back. She likes to look nice, but just hates shopping!

Also, there are lots of online clothing stores that appeal to all ages. I live in a very rural area and the girls in the high school where I teach order online all the time. If it doesn't fit or if you don't like it you can send it back. But, living in SoCal, there are lots of shopping opportunities! Look at what the girls your age are wearing, strike up a conversation about something you really like and ask where she purchased it. Girls love to talk clothes!

Now, about your social life...nothing beats a good college class about something you love to do to open up opportunities to meet like minded people. Volunteering is a great way to meet people, also. I met my DH in a ceramics class that I was taking just for fun, I met my best friend at work and I have a circle of friends through volunteering at the local school
and through a community education class I taught for a few years. I also did an internship (unpaid, of course) in the neighboring town and met many people who I like very much and whom I always feel warmly toward when I see them again. Volunteerism and community service develop good will and people tend to want to know you because you have something going on in your life...you are interesting and vital. If you like to read, book discussion groups are also a great way to meet groups of people who get together and enjoy books. The Sierra Club or other organizations like it have guided hikes and excursions that welcome singles and that is a great way to meet other people. One of the funnest classes I ever took and one that allowed me to meet fun loving people was a salsa dance class given by the local recreation center. Joining a gym is a great way to meet people, too.

Good luck on your make over! I think you will feel so much better when you just start trying other things. Have fun with it, push your boundaries and think gorgeous thoughts! Post some pictures when you make changes.

Hey, I just got my waist long hair cut in the cutest curly short new style and I love it. It makes me feel perky and light and it frames my face so well. I got a good stylist who knew just what I wanted and I will go back to her again. Ask the gals at work who have nice hair cuts where they go to get their hair styled. One of my good friends recommended the woman who cut my hair and she steered me in the right direction!

Sheri

A good stylist will be able to help you find a great style that suits you. The best way to find a good stylist is to ask women who have great hair who they go to.

If you have a Sephora nearby you can go in there and get a makeover. They love nothing more helping out with your questions. Ask them to give you a day look and a night look. Walk around with it for a while before you buy everything. I don't think they work on commission so there's no pressure to buy.

I'm no good at clothes, but my sister is, so when I go shopping I let her pick out things for me. You can ask sales people in the stores what they recommend, or again, find somebody at work whose style you admire and see if she can help.

Good luck and keep us posted. Maybe even put up before/after pictures! I love a good makeover story!

Oh how I wish you were with us during our last session at work.

I organized to have Lynne Mackay (an Image consultant) come to our work to go over current styles, make up application tecniques and professional images.

It was really fun

I agree, go to a cosmetic desk - they can give you make overs and make up tips - sometimes they will do one side of your face, and have you do the other using the same tecniques

You mention that you have some co-workers that are stylish, if you are interested in making friends, maybe ask them if they would like to come shopping with you, they could help you pick out some trendy clothes - and make friends in the process.

Good luck.

On the makeup front, let me recommend that you use a liquid foundation with SPF15 or higher. Many days, that is all the makeup I use, and it makes my face look so much more refined. The SPF will help you look young into the future!

I am a licensed cosmetologist.

I would meed to see photos of you lovely ladies in order to recommend hairstyles, makeup tips, or clothing styles. All of those recommendations are going to depend on your skin tone, face shape, style (are you sporty, girly, preppy, etc.) and your body type.

Pics please!

I don't really consider myself super into fashion, but I seem to get a lot of compliments on what I wear, so I'll offer up my thoughts. I think age perception can be related to genetics and the amount of life/emotional weight you're carrying, too, and that's something that can lift as you feel better. I'm often mistaken for a few to several years younger than I am, which is 36. Drinking lots of water helps, I'm sure.

I developed my style (I guess I have a style, I don't know that I could define it) by putting in some time trying on clothes. I didn't like to shop because, hey, I'm fat and didn't like to see my naked body. But I wanted to look nice and wasn't satisfied with the advice of friends who looked nice. So I would take a few hours here and there and try on lots of clothes. I bet dressing room attendants hated me. I bought very few, only those I loved. I couldn't afford some, but I tried them on anyway. Maybe one day I can afford them. I took note of what I liked on me and what I didn't and why. I made it a point to try on things I didn't think would look good on me or things that seemed unusual for me, and sometimes I was surprised. I still do that sometimes, just as a refresher. Now, it is much easier for me to walk into a store and spot what fits into my wardrobe because I've taken the time to develop my own personal sense of taste and comfort. As I lose weight, I'm sure my range of fashion will change. This may or may not be a good approach for you. I know that many people like to follow trends, but I don't really want to bother with it and instead just decided to wear what I want to wear and what I like, regardless. Maybe I'm just lucky that it seems to work out for me often.

I have fine hair, too. I keep a small brush in my purse and car and brush it several times a day. That keeps it tamer. When you wear a ponytail, don't use a scrunchie to pull it back unless you're working out or in a purposefully casual setting. Invest in a few nice-looking, hair-holding things. My favorite looks like a pencil; that really amuses me for some reason. Have fun with it. Take the time to flip through some magazines, then find a stylist whose hair you like. If you get a cut you don't like, take a picture so you can take it to the next stylist and tell the person you don't like it. Same with if you get a cut you love.

I didn't really know much about makeup, so I just experimented with it. I looked for pictures of people whose makeup I liked, then I tried to make my makeup match theirs. Honestly, many days I don't wear it. When I do, I have the Loreal True Match makeup where you look in the mirror at the store and match your skin color to the numbers on the makeup, and I've had people tell me that the colors look great on me. After reading about the problem with lead in some lipstick, I tried Burt's Bees lip color and absolutely loved it, so now that's about all I use.

Congratulations on deciding to work on you! You may well find that taking care of yourself in other ways will help you lose weight.

Here's my two cents. I'm almost 24...so I'm in that same age range that you are. I NEVER leave the house without mascara. I'm also a firm believer in bright red lipstick...which I put a clear gloss on top of. It depends on your skin shade though...I'm fairly pale and light hair/eyes...so the red looks pretty decent. I wear Benefit brand makeup...or Clinique. I very, very seldom ever buy makeup at wal-mart or stores like that. I want quality and something that doesn't have a lot of unnatural chemicals (I'm allergic to most preservatives). Definitely go for some eye shaddow too! You can def wear both eye shaddow and bright lipstick. You're young!!! Anything goes, really. Start small. Paint your nails a funky color. Go for a hot pink or a really dark purple.

I can't give you clothes and hair suggestions really...not without seeing a picture. I work at Lane Bryant part time...so I'd say I'm pretty good at helping people pick out clothes that look nice and age appropriate. I've had basically the same haircut since I was 12. Haha.. I like it and it works. I get compliments on my hair almost daily. You've got to invest in a few products though. Things I can't live without: Big Sexy Hair root pump, hairspray and volumizing gel. Bed Head pomade (the one in the teal colored tub thing)...again I SELDOM ever buy products at stores like wal-mart. I mean, you can...but I've never had luck with them. Also, get some cute headbands. I found some really cute, funky beaded ones at walmart for around 1.00. I love them.

hmm... hope this helps a little!

what kind of hair style/style would suit me based on the image below?....

I think something shoulder length with layers. Hair is so hard though...it's all about personality too.

I think something "fun" like a shag layered cut, or shoulder to mid back length with layers. Either one would look nice on you. You said in an earlier post that you were thinking of dyeing your hair darker. I do NOT recommend this-judging from the photo that you posted. Don't go darker-it will make you look washed out, and your eyebrows are lighter-so it won't look right.


For makeup...and this is from my cosmetology background, and from being a professional dancer (I have to do stage makeup 2x a week...) the first thing that jumped out at me was your eyebrows.

They are very light in comparison to your hair. You have nice skin and features though, so you don't need a lot. Here is my 5 minute makeup job for you.

I recommend:

~Clear mascara or brow gel to brush/define your eyebrows.

~Brow powder or pencil to LIGHTLY enhance/deepen your eyebrow color. Do it sparingly, so you don't end up with the "old lady drawn on" look.

~A lip GLOSS that has a hint of color. I would go for something that looks just a hair deeper than your natural liptone...something with a hint of a mauve tone to it. I use the Bigelow Mentha-Shine from Bath & Body Works. It is GREAT. Burts Bees also has some tinted lip balms that look really nice-but don't look as heavy as lipstick.

~A light dusting of pressed powder to even out your skin tone. (You don't look like you need liquid foundation...)

~A light sweep of vanilla colored eyeshadow.

~A light coat of black mascara.

6 products-about 5 minutes to apply...and it will result in a natural, not made up look.