Okay, that may sound drastic, but I'm back at the "OMG. It's been another year" freak out point.

I saw the 3 Day Melt on tv the other day and thought "hey, that looks almost fun" and it's stuck. The problem? I've tried DVD's and they don't do much for me. Tae Bo, Richard Simmons, Steps (forget what it's called). I even bought an excersize trampoline, but found out it's hard on my ankles.

The last time I lost weight, I was using an appetite suppresant. It's no longer available. I've talked to my doctor about the Lap-Band. Can't afford it or the long term medical treatment prior to the operation. (It would average me $600 a month in doctor bills and travel for six months before it would even be determined if I could have the operation.)

I realize those are temporary fixes. I also know what my household situation is. My job creates unbelievable stress in bucketful amounts without warning. I'm not a stress eater, or even a heavy snacker. My husband will argue with me 'til I'm blue in the face (He doesn't turn blue. He's never wrong.) I can have a sweet tooth, but it's not an over-indulgence problem.

Anyway, I have lost weight before I was married by swimming and eating a near vegetarian diet. Can't do that here.

I need to know what I can do. I sit all day because I'm a writer. My life revolves around my family and my career. I've tried connecting with people to walk in the neighborhood but RL, y'know... sucks and I'm very unmotivated to walk when I'm in the kitchen cooking dinner. I think I've also gotten too nervous about walking in public, even in a safe (I think) neighborhood.

Sorry, this is really sounding like a whine-fest... I'm just so frustrated. I've regained 90% of the weight I lost before I got married and had my son. Tonight is a perfect example. It's going to be a drive-thru night because the man is working late again. I would love to go back to a primarily fresh vegetable diet, but I'm already squeezing in foods to feed the boy who thinks I poison him nightly and the man who won't eat vegetables without looking like I'm feeding him mud. It's hard to look at across the dinner table every night. I feel trapped. And getting heavier because of it. I've noticed sugar problems in the last few weeks and that's really getting me worried. I'm going to be 40 soon, and both of my parents have health issues. I'm used to doing things independently but this isn't one of them apparently.

Okay, I'm done sobbing. Sorry it's so long. I did warn you.

~Diana

Why can't you eat a vegetarian diet where you currently live? I'm a vegetarian who lives with a meat-eater, it's hard, but he's willing to eat my veggie stuff.

Could you maybe go on a family walk together?

Weight loss is something that you need to do together, even if he doesn't need to lose weight.

And I hate to say it, but sometimes you have to be harsh. Tell him "Eat my food or cook your own meals." That's what I told my boyfriend and so far, so good. If he doesn't like vegetables, tough luck. And it's good to teach your son healthy eating habits too.

That kind of is the crux. He isn't willing to eat vegetables and the boy... he's a third menu altogether. It's a mealtime nightmare most days.

The man will eat peas, and occassionally broccoli if I smother it in cheese, but just steamed or sauteed, out of luck.

And he doesn't cook. That's my job. I know what you're saying and I've tried it. I wind up throwing up half a dinner when I do cook like that, because I'm the only one who eats a portion. It's not economical to waste the money. I could list what he doesn't eat, but it's quicker to say what he will eat. I love chicken. He hates it, will only eat it occassionally and it can't be on the bone. I also like fish, but that's another lost cause.

He doesn't work a consistent schedule to really do the family walks unfortunately. I've tried walking with the boy. He's six and doesn't have the endurance to do even a mile without complaining. I walked with him from school, which was two miles round trip for me. That was fine. I enjoyed it and thought about lengthening it somehow and then he wimped out on me.

I need to just commit to something and do it because I can't expect either of them to do it with me, or eat what I'm going to eat.

I know I'm whining/ranting but I just don't know how to do what I need to do. I've been fat my whole life. My mother would buy me chocolate to shut me up and served adult sized portions since I was a child. A lot of pasta and rice. I'm half Italian. We were also a clean your plate household. No matter what was on it. I don't give my son nearly the quantities I had to eat, and he still doesn't eat enough to make it worth my while to put a plate in front of him. I can't tell you how many times he's vomited at the dinner table because he doesn't like something. Really takes the wind out of the want to cook sail. And if the man doesn't eat it, he isn't either. He's his dad's child through and through.

I've tried a couple of support groups. I can't afford a meals program. I need a way to work around the two in the house is what I need.

~Diana

First of all, great that you want to start making some changes toward getting healthier! One thing you could think about is cooking separate meals for yourself -- maybe on day a week, cook up all of your own meals (veggies, chicken, make everything light and calorie-conscious) so you can keep cooking for your guys, and heat up portions for yourself. That way, you can make two different meals without cooking all day most days.

Extending the walk home with your son seems like a great idea: you could walk two or three miles yourself by taking detours on the way there, then walk with him! Otherwise, there are tons of great yoga/pilates/cardio DVD's. And never underestimate the power of doing circuits of simple weightless training (sit-ups, pushups, planks, squats, etc) both to tone up and, if you're doing them vigorously enough, get your heartrate up. You can find lots of great exercises online to do at home.

Good luck!

You might look for a book, I don't remember the title (maybe someone will) about hiding vegetables in regular dishes so kids (and hubbies) will eat them

I think walking your son home from school is fabulous. While it might be too much to expect him to walk several miles with you, I think you just need to not give him a choice about walking one mile home. You're the parent, and walking home is just what is done. He may escalate his protests at first, but if you stick to it, calmly (key!), and don't waver (*never* let the kid smell you giving in!), he will adjust. It is SO not unreasonable. My niece lost a lot of weight exactly this way. And it's really a very loving thing to do for your son, to give him that physical activity and one-on-one time with you. Maybe make up some special games to play with him, just for walking from school time - like I Spy, 20 Questions, that sort of thing. Maybe keep it a special thing just for that time.

Finally, I think you would do great just picking one (or two or three) changes at a time, getting used to them, then adding more. Instead of trying to begin a 100% new lifestyle all at once. Easier on your family, and especially easier on you too.

I know. I'm a push over in some things. I get worn down.

I have the book. It's by Jessica Seinfeld and I tried it. Both of the males could taste the differences in the cooking. I need to do it again and stick to it. Not exactly a screw-you mentality, but it's got to change around here.

As for picking what I'm going to change, that's kind of the hard part. I don't know where to start, because from my vantage point, I need to change everything. Rather daunting. Again. If it was just me, I could, but I have to also coordinate foods that they will eat.

I can't tell you the fights we've had over the dinner table trying to get the boy to eat just one bite of something without throwing up everything or gagging. I poison him nightly, dontchaknow. *eyeroll* Plus the man wants at least me to stay at the table for company until he's done. I eat smaller portions-usually-and can be done in a few minutes. Two or three plates later, I've been at the table for at least 20-30 minutes watching another person eat. Even if I'm full, I still want to eat.

I should mention that I love food. I love the taste of food. I can eat just because it's in front of me and that's baaaaad.

No, I'm not blaming him for this, or any part of it, but he isn't the most supportive or empathetic person when it comes my weight.

~Diana

Hi Diana,

I too have the child/children and husband who refuse to eat veggies. My daughter IsaBella is six, she's not so bad. Every once in a while she complains about green beans and peas. My boys on the other hand Caige Michael who is five and Aiden who is two. Yeah right. I even put a veggie in front of them and they look at me like I'm nuts. And my husband Shane forget it. Shane is almost four years younger than me and this is his first time ever being out on his own. We have been together a little over 18 months and in Shane's family the tipical meal is lobster, fried clams, fried shrimp , cheese burgers, hamberger helper and all that stuff that is not so nice on my hips.

I've come to the point where I'm making three and four different meals , at meal time. I too have a crazy life. Crazy actually isn't the word for it. I work full time, attend college four nights a week and all that jazz. Your best bet is most likely sitting down once a week and planning out your own meals. This is hard as well. But I have a little help from WW smart ones. I shop once a week and buy enough of them for seven nights. I tend to add more veggie to them just because I HATE soggy veggies.

As for getting your son to eat them. Try the new V8 juice that has veggie in them. I've tasted it and it's pretty good. With your hubby, I've kind of put my foot down and said either eat what I'm making or your SOL.

I wish you the best of luck.

At some point you just have to decide what you are and aren't going to do.

That's what prompted me to join. I'm getting to that point.