Hello all....
I am getting a migraine, the first that I have had in months....
. sometimes it sucks to be me. Also, on my mind is the fact that I feel like I am getting weaker...I have been working out osme, but I feel that this arthritis is getting the best of me....it is in my ankles, knees, wrists, elbows, and left shoulder now. i am scared to walk up my steps. I make as few trips upstairs as I possibly can now. Iknow I am not suppose to let this thing beat me, but I feel as if it is. I wish it would just go away....but I know I will have it for the rest of my life.
I peeked at mr. Scale last nihgt...weight was 208 down one pound... maybe this thing I am doing is a good thing...I will stay Op the three weeks before Tom, and then my TOM week I will not stress over not being able to stay OP, and eat what I want moderately, and see if that works. I need to get on the ball... Summer is fastly approaching and I am still a fatty. I just wish I could get things to come together for me. I wish things would go my way for a while. I am definitely down in the dumps today...
BF and I had a huge fight last night. He is a complete FREAK when it comes to how clean the house is. I stayed up until 2:30 Saturday night cleaning the house, and then Sunday I did laundry all day. So yesterday when he came into the house there was really nothing to be done, except vacuuming the floors, and putting some of the clothes up I had folded. The house was clean. When I came home he smarted something off about the boxes I still haven't unpacked in the bedroom, and that the house was a mess, and he was tired of it. I went completely ballistic. He knows how hard I work, and I told him that until he does what I do during the day, that he can just shut his mouth. I will get the boxes up, when I get time, which probably will not be until Summer break. It's impossible to keep up with everything, and my three children all the time. He just needs to shut his mouth, before I leave his stupid @ss! Do you know what he did after starting this argument????? He went and sat his fat bum on my couch, and started watching a movie. Everytime I had to walk through the living room, I called him a foul name, and then on top of that...at 8:00 he went to bed...leaving me to go to my sisters and pick my 4 year old up (something he was suppose to do), getting the baby her bath, and getting all three kids to bed...including carrying the 4 year old up the steps asleep to bed. I ended up sleeping on the couch, because I refused to sleep with him. Then this morning he had the nerve to ask me if I had any money before he left for work...
I am still so mad at him, I don't even want to go home!
I am sorry. I know I am rambling but he really pushed my buttons yesterday! I ended up having an anxiety attack...the first I have had in a year or more...they drain me...I was so shaky I didn't get to work out...but that's okay, because I bet I burned 200 calories just from yelling at him. But that is also why i probably have this migraine right now! Not a good thing getting so mad, that you feel like you could actually rip his head from his shoulders!
My mom says I should just get used to it, because he wil always be like that...but to **** with that...I'm not marrying my father, and that is who he reminds me of. My Dad was an alcoholic, and even though he didn't beat us or anything like that, all my childhood my sisters and I had to tiptoe around him. My Mom too, we couldn't play too loud..."you don't want to bother Daddy." well my kids are not going to live like that, and I am not going to be a slave to my (future) husband. He can shape up or ship out.
Again I apoligize, I guess I just needed to vent!
plan for the day is drink lots of water, and do some kind of physical activity, and to ignore my fiance as much as possible....(just wait until he wants something...I'll be damned if he gets it!)
I hope everyone has a better day than i had yesterday!