Hi ladies,

Its another beautiful fall day here. A bit windy but nice enough that I need to spend some time outside today.

We had a really good time down in the Ozarks. We took all dogs to the vet for boarding on Wednesday AM and then headed out in the rain. It rained all the way down on us. We hadn't planned on doing much on Wed so it was okay. I went to the hotel's fitness room while DH napped. I got in 45 minutes cardio! Food was pretty limited as we didn't want to go out and there wasn't much in the way of delivery. We ended up with Luigi's salad and pizza. The salad was fabulous and we didn't eat much pizza.

Thursday was the day we had planned for Silver Dollar City. It was a beautiful day; even a bit chilly. DH had never been so this was a first for him and I haven't been in years. His scooter was a lifesaver for him. I don't think there is too much of SDC that is flat. There are some pretty steep inclines in that place. We enjoyed a funnel cake which was my main reason for going. And not one bite was left on the plate. It was every bit as good as I had remembered. Lunch was so-so BBQ. I did a lot of walking and a lot of hills so that was my workout for the day. While there, we got a picture with our name on the mailbox and had a wooden sign made that says "Happy Tails Farm" with a dog print and a horse engraved into it too. We were so tired that we decided on Luigi's again for dinner because the salad was so good. Neither one of us ate all of our entree's. DH decided that he didn't need to do SDC again - just like a man; can't appreciate the ambiance.

Friday was our anniversary so after breakfast, we headed over to Eureka Springs Arkansas which is where we got married. It was a beautiful drive and it was nice to visit the chapel and spend some time remembering that night.

OMG, I almost forgot about the shopping at the outlet mall. I had it in my head that I wanted to check out the Coach store just in case I could find a purse that wasn't outrageously priced. I had no idea what was going on but the store was absolutely mobbed with women. I finally found out that there was a special 25% off sale happening with a donation of $1 per item to the Susan Komen breast cancer fund. There where so many women with 4 and 5 purses on their arms and scouting out for more. I found one that I liked and since it was going to be $82, I decided I could get another. I jokingly told DH that I should have bought more to sell on Ebay. We both looked at each other the light bulb went on that we could do that for real. I went back and got two more, each under $100. I said that I would sell three on Ebay and should make enough to cover the one that I liked best. Bummer thing is that when my sister found out what I had done, she had to have one of the ones I bought. How could I say no, that she couldn't take one at the price I paid? I wanted to as she wanted the one that had the highest resale price potential. So I have two to sell instead of three.

DH has been griping about wanting a bottle of champagne for months now. Not just any bottle, but a bottle of Dom Pérignon. I finally relented and bought him what he wanted at Sam's club for his birthday. We had that on Friday night. I had resisted before because I was afraid I would not like it as I cannot do any wine that is dry. However, I loved this. We drank the whole bottle before heading out to dinner. Well, I drank most of it as DH was driving. We had a great anniversary dinner with my sister and her husband.

It was such a nice time but we agreed that while we both love being in the Ozarks as it is so beautiful, we don't really like Branson itself. Too conjested and not much substance unless you're buying crap or going to shows.

Even though food just wasn't all the good for the few days, I made it to the fitness center twice. And I did go yesterday afternoon. We've been to the grocery store this morning so we're all stocked up with healthy food options. I want nothing sweet for a few days. I am going to make steel cut oats for breakfast tomorrow, homemade hummas for snacks and quinoa with onions and peppers for tonight. I am ready for good, healthy food.

Barb - for another great loss. That sucks about what the gym is doing to the trainers. Sounds like they are all worried about their buck but no one else's. Do you watch Jon & Kate plus 8? They did a show where they took one of their boys to a train place for a ride too. Sounds like you did an awesome job of eating out and staying within your program. Do you think your DH is testing you?

Lilion - Have you recovered from the Irish ale's yet? Great job on your loss too. I complained to my doctor about being tired all the time and no energy to exercise. She said that it is a vicious cycle where the exercise will help you be less tired but you're too tired to do it - just have to get going at it and soon you won't be so tired. Unfortuantely, I discovered that she is right but it is still sometimes hard to get going. Good luck with getting work under control. Sounds like they need to take a break from hearings and such periodically so that you all can catch up on your judgments. How long does it take to write one?

Elaine - I wondered what was up that you were so quiet. Its good to see that you're working through some things and getting back on track to healthy. Have you had good enough weather to still do hiking?

Heather - Hope the semester is kicking your student's butts if its kicking yours!

Ruth - I always enjoy having company but then again, I'm always glad to have my house back to myself. Time to get back in gear! You don't need anyone to you! You know what to do!

Bigmomma - How was your WI? Hope you still had that 6 pound loss. I haven't used any appetite suppressant supplements. DH used Byetta injections which helped him but it was because he is a diabetic.

I better get this posted and get busy doing something. Tomorrow is back to work. Boo!

to all!

ack. being a red sox fan is a lot of frustration.

Hi Gals -
I hope everyone had a great weekend. I'm not really sure where it went. Today was busy but I didn't get much done. I spend the morning with the boys, this afternoon I trekked an hour to a co-worker's house for a purse party, then I hit the gym, made dinner, bathed the boys and put them to bed. Now I'm getting ready for a busy week. I didn't make it to the grocery store today so I'm not as prepared as I'd like to be for food this week. I plan on shopping after the gym tomorrow night since it's DH's night to get the boys and feed them.

Terri - Sounds like you and DH had a very nice time! Great job on the food and exercise! Yeh - I'm still a little pissy about the gym owners but I have such a good relationship with my trainer now I'm trying not to let it bother me. We talked a bit today and if they end up pulling his contract I will just go train at his private studio and then do my cardio workouts at the gym. I know it will all work out. It's just very weird right now. As for DH....Grrrrrr, Argh, Ugh....I have no idea what is going on in his head. One minute he'll act supportive and interested an the next he's ordering a cheesesteak (extra cheese of course) with fries. (This happened today at lunch..thankfully I was walking out the door.) It's so frustrating to feel so alone in this right now. Not to mention how worried I am about his health. I'm taking care of ME right now and doing what I need to do, but I want him to be happy, healthy and alive for the boys and me! He had to go to the Doc for some bloodwork not long ago for a letter we need to finish some adoption paperwork. Well, the nurse called him on Friday and said the Doc wants to talk with him. I'm sure the results were not good, but we don't know anything else right now. I know it scares him, but he has to face it. There is really nothing I can say or do right now that is going to help....I have to take care of me and wait for him to wake up. I hope it happens soon so I can feel like I have a partner in this. I realize I am totally rambling on now. Sorry....

I had a nice A-ha moment this evening at the gym. I had just finished talking on the phone with someone who asked how I was and then sensed some hesitation in my voice. I didn't tell him that I was having a rather tough time dealing with today because I didn't want to cry...it would have been my dad's 75th birthday (he passed away just over a year ago). I got into the gym and was on the elliptical when I just started to cry. I just needed to get the emotions out. I gave myself a moment and then I just pushed as hard as I could for 30 minutes. I also sent my friend a text telling him why I was hesitant on the phone. He sent back exactly what I needed to hear. Anyway...all this led me to realize that the past years I've comforted myself with food when I was grieving. Today it hit me that Friends and Exercise are better than any bite of food!!!!!!!!!!

Heather - I'm watching the game. Getting tough for your boys but they have one more at bat. I have to admit I'm a little indifferent because I am a PHILLIES fan!

I'm finally going to stop rambling....

Night Ladies!
Barb

Terri -- Sounds like you had a nice, balanced weekend. Some fun food, exercise, nostalgia... I hope you still make money on the purses.

Barb -- I need to RElearn that stress lesson about friends and exercise...

Red Sox lost. But no one need feel sorry for me! Maybe next year!

WOOHOO! Gas is $2.75 per gallon! About time, huh?

It's a lovely Monday morning. I have hopes for a nice day. I'm trying to start the week on an optimistic note.

Terri, I recovered nicely from my bar night. It was a lot of fun. Good food, good music and good friends. I ate too many of the fried mushrooms, and had real ranch – but not much. The shrooms are so good they don't really need them. I also had some onion rings, so too much grease, but I did have a grilled chicken sandwich with no sauce or cheese for dinner. I only had three drinks. Granted, they were big pints, and they were hard cider instead of light beer – Hey! Cider is a fruit, right? I know I should get up and work out. My problem really is that I don't get up early enough because I don't go to bed early enough. I remember how much better I felt when I did it too. Stupid me, stopping the workouts.

Was nicely OP yesterday. I made a curried chicken dish for dinner, with veggies with middle-eastern mixed spice. It was yummy and very filling. If anyone likes a nice mild curry, let me know. It's a friend's recipe and really easy.

Today I have my follow-up appts with the cardiologist at noon and my primary care doc at 4:30. Not really sure why I have to have both, since there wasn't anything wrong with me, but maybe one of the two will figure out why I get the odd chest pressure. Frankly, now that I know it's not my heart, I don't care a whole lot about what else it could be ...it's just annoying, not concerning.

Time to be judicial! Gotta run. Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Morning ladies,

Gas by us is $2.39 a gallon! The checking account is very happy about that!

I am not off to too great of a start this week. I set the alarm for 5:30 to get up and get a few things done before work. I was snoozing away and DH shook me and said its 7:00 am. WTH! I had reset the clock for PM instead of AM. Damn! I was out of the house by 7:45 though. And I packed healthy things for lunch and had a healthy breakfast.

I'm either having an allergy attack or catching a cold but its taking awhile for the coffee to kick in and clear my head this morning.

Barb - for your dad. You did a very good job of handling the emotion. I need to keep that in mind as I move into the last three weeks of study time and dealing with all the anxiety around that. My DH does similar stuff - one day very supportive and wanting to help and the next, acts like he doesnt know what kinds of healthy foods to cook. If he does all the cooking, you'd think he'd remember the things I ask for. I sometimes think he does it to test my resolve and then when I just give in and eat whatever it is, then it shows him I'm not serious. But if I mention sabotage, he gets pretty upset because I'm the one that eats the food. He needs to improve his health as well but I can't force him to do what he needs to do.

Sorry for no more replies at the moment, got to run off to a meeting.

to all!

Barb. I had to reread your post - I was in such a hurry today. I know how hard it is to miss your parents once they are gone. Hang in there dear and let yourself have time for YOU.

Howdy all! Sounds like a lot of folks had a good weekend -- I did too. I haven't been out and about the past three weekends -- 2 weekends were sick/sulking, and I was busy with Andre and other stuff this weekend. However, next weekend is either a long bike trip or a hike or maybe both .

I have been processing a big "aha" for me -- the extent to which my fear of failure and of being wrong has limited my life. I'm a "learn it from the book" kind of person -- and if I can't learn it from the book, I want to be able to learn it quickly -- if I can't do that, I just stop trying and pretend to myself and everyone else that it isn't important to me. I realized a long while ago that this limited me in terms of things I haven't learned (clarinet, any type of art thing, rock climbing), but what I didn't realize until this past week was just how much this was limiting me in everyday life.

For instance, I Hate making new friends. Why? There's all that uncomfortableness -- do they like me? do they like me as much as I like them? do they want to spend more time with me? less time? etc...
I Hate having people know that I'm losing weight. Why? What if I fail? What will they think about me?
I've been sober longer here in Portland than I was in Santa Rosa, but I'm less plugged into AA here. Why? Because a lot of the time I'm going thru piddly little problems that I feel embarrassed to talk about with people who never saw me in those shaky/crazy days of early sobriety. But its that piddly stuff that makes me crazy.
One of the other "aha's" for me is how so much of this is wired in me. Like I don't even process it at a conscious level -- I just avoid situations that scare me.

Anyway, this weekend was a bit about confronting some of those fears. Saturday night, I went to a local sports bar to meet some folks I met over the internet. I realized this spring that I really need more friends, but it is hard for me to get out and meet people. But, I met four new people Sat nite and it wasn't even all that scary . Sunday, I went to an AA meeting and picked up my 9 year chip. I haven't been going to meetings and while I can sort of maintain without doing so, it is much better for me to be plugged in. I also came to work on Sunday and worked out at the fitness center -- I'm so proud of myself -- I was able to jog for 75 seconds 4 times out of my 8 jogging times (the other 4 were 60 seconds apiece). When I first started, I could barely jog 45 seconds, so 75 is a lot of improvement! The "couch-to-5k" plan I'm using is supposed to be a 9 week plan -- it might be a 9 month plan for me , but I'm doing it!

Terri -- sounds like you had a great, balanced weekend -- that's awesome! Congrats on your anniversary!
Barb -- I'm sorry about your dad, and good for you for realizing that some of the time you comforted yourself with food. Sounds like you have a good plan with your trainer in case it doesn't work out for him at the gym.
Heather -- bummer about the Sox . Maybe next year.
Lilion -- Grats on your OP day and hope the week goes well. Your job sounds incredibly stressful -- not only from the workload, but I also imagine from some of the situations you have to deal with in the courtroom. Marie just started working as a case manager in a women & children recovery house -- it's great work because it engages her heart but that is what makes it so hard too.

Here's to a great OP fall week for everyone!

Just wanted to drop by and say HI to everyone.

My WI is tomorrow, hoping I make my first 10 lb goal. I've been sticking to plan so will see! I can't believe I've been at this for 4 weeks now, boy time really flies

Elaine - for getting out and conquering some of those fears. I too don't make friends easily so I can appreciate how that might have been a bit daunting. Sounds like you're doing some much needed introspectives and moving onwards. You know, finishing your MBA and taking on a new work challenge is probably contributing to your wanting to do more. I can totally see you doing rock climbing!

Bigmomma - Good luck! :

I've had a good food day. I'm doing the snack all day thing to see if that helps me deal with the desire to snack all afternoon while at work. Its only at work that I have that urge which gets me into trouble. I can see me doing this for a few days and then not having the urge anymore when my options are carrots or broccoli instead of a Payday.

to all. Off to study.

Just popping in for a super quick hello and good night . I had a pretty good day here. Food = Good, Exercise = Good, Emotions = all over the place... Life is great! Night Friends. Catch up with you tomorrow.

GOOD MORNING!!!

Morning ladies,

Its a crazy day here at work. We're moving to another floor so everything is chaos and the movers are coming at noon. We're all leaving then so its a short day for us. And we got to wear jeans today.

I've got some hormone stuff going on so I didn't feel too great last night. I guess just part of the perimenopause cycle. Bleh. I didn't do any cardio last night. I'll see how I feel this afternoon and will hopefully head over to the fitness center. I was up before 6 am this morning for pilates and stretching.

I almost didn't get breakfast this morning. I had poured my Kashi into the bowl and put in my milk. I turned away to do something else and heard this noise. Wiley was drinking the milk out of my bowl. I was not happy. I believe I had a hormone surge and just about had a meltdown. There was just enough cereal left in the box; no, I did not eat after Wiley.

Back to packing! to all!

Hey Gals - Just popping in for a lunchtime hello! I've had a really productive day at work...which is a good thing because I'm really behind on some projects. I hate falling behind on work. I'm just had a nice, healthy chicken breast with some veggies and I'm off to yoga class in a few minutes.

Terri - Ugh. Hormones can make us crazy!

Bigmomma - GL with the weigh-in today!!!

Elaine - Good for you putting yourself out there and facing your challenges head on!!

Lilion - How did the appointments go yesterday?

Heather - HI!

I hope everyone has a fantastic rest of the day!!!
Barb