My name is Tor and I am from Neah Bay, Washington - residing in Port Angeles, Washington.
I work at the YMCA in the mornings, then am the college Longhouse Coordinator in the afternoons.
Overall, I know I have a very good life. I have spent the past year building up my self-worth, having left an abusive marriage that lasted 23 years.
I find my trouble with food comes when I feel down on myself, when someone makes me feel abused, used and worthless. I'll put total garbage in my body. I started tricking myself by eating sugar free Hershey's Chocolate, or sugar free peanut brittle, and that worked for a while.
Now though, I am recovering from having surgery and have been unable to do my exercise classes or cardio, and decided to enjoy the vacation and have been loading up on carbs and sugars.
Well, my vacation's over and I am back on Splenda, my Atkins shakes, twice a day, snacks that are more healthy, like apples and cashews, and being more strict with what I eat for dinner. I have not gone up in pant size and I feel lucky for that. But MAN I FEEL like I LOOK fat. I'm sure it's a self-image thing; I never see what others see. When I look at me what I see is very fat and very unattractive. I want to work on that as well.
What I need though, is just moral support.
yabis!

Welcome to the forum, Tor!

Good for you for leaving an abusive marriage. That can't have been easy. (although you'd think it would be)

It sounds like you're really ready to get back in shape. I know it's hard, but set aside that image of yourself for now. Focus on the mental image of you feeling strong and healthy. The looks will come back.

Hi Tor!

Sounds like you've got the time and energy to focus on getting healthy now which is excellent...it'll be a real help moving forward.

We have groups here by age range, by eating plan, and by amount to lose...look around, find a spot or several, and settle right in. Can't wait to get to know you better!