.. of my choice to lose some pounds. My boyfriend likes me better being "chubby" and I think that my friends underestimate me or think that I can't do it. I'm only trying to lose 20-25 pounds. I know I shouldn't care about what anyone else thinks. I know that I should do what makes ME happy, but sometimes that makes me feel discouraged. Does anybody else have this issue?

Hey gal! I'm in Fla. too, but on the west coast.

You don't need your friends' support to lose weight. It's really up to you! I know it can be hard if everyone else is going out to eat, partying, etc., but you do have a choice. No need to even tell them what you're doing--just come up with a plan and follow it.

You may find that you can still go out to eat or go to a party while following a plan, but just make different choices and limit what you have. If you don't make a big deal out of it, most people won't even notice.

For example, eat only half of your meal at a restaurant and take the rest home. If friends ask why, it's easy enough to say that you're just not very hungry and want the food for the next day. Whether you have it the next day is up to you--you could also just toss it.

Does this give you some hope?

Jay

I agree. As long as you're confident that you can lose the weight, then you CAN lose it! Who needs doubters! Plus if it motivates you, you can get some satisfaction on proving them wrong.

I'm sorry your boyfriend isn't being very supportive. My husband is kind of the same. I'm unhappy with myself and the way my clothes fit, but he likes me having the padding, especially around my hips. However, I'm not trying to lose weight to make him happy because I know he'll love me no matter what I do. I just want to feel better about myself and I'm not going to compromise that by staying at a weight that doesn't fit me because my husband likes me with more in the hip and butt area.

It is tough when those around you aren't supportive. That's why I love this place soooo much.

One thing that helps me is to take more of an "I'll show them" attitude. If they dont' think I can do it, or if they won't support me ... well, damnit - I'll do it w/out 'em.



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You do what makes YOU happy girl!!!

I have in the past made a grand decree to everyone I know that I'm going to lose weight. Most people would say, good idea, or whatever (I'm a lot heavier than you are, so of course they would not say not to bother!), many would look at me and think, yeah, where have we heard that before!

I have decided that announcing my big plans has been a mistake for me in the past, because if I fail (which I have), I'm even more ashamed and feel people judging me, even if they aren't.

This time, I am telling the people closest to me so they are able to help me when I need it, but that's it. The rest of the people in my life can just be surprised!! That way, it's all about me and MY JOURNEY and not about what everyone's thinking as I do it. You can always come here for support and just let your friends be your friends!!

Best of luck!!!!

First off, congrats for wanting to do it for you. That's very important. And secondly, ignore these people. Keep away from this kind of negativity, it only can hurt you during your journey.
This is a great place. I don't have really anyone around me, so I am now coming here during the day when I can to get motivation and all. So far, I am loving it and I'm sure you will too.

Come to 3FC often!!

I agree, do what's right for you!! And, you do know what that is

Boyfriends/husbands/partners sometimes feel threatened when their mate loses weight...and rightly so, I'd imagine. I know ALOT of women who have lost weight and began affairs. My husband likes it that I have lost weight, because I feel so much better, and sometimes even sexy , but if I were to get to your starting weight, I doubt he's let me out of the house. Even though I'd never dream of cheating on him, he likes me chubby, it's less threatening to him.

I understand not feeling very supported. I just joined here in order to find some support. I have not told my friends I am trying to lose weight, because I don't want them watching me. My DH wants to be supportive, but struggles with will power just like I do. I have told my DH and kids we are changing how we eat and live. I think the kids are just hoping I get over this "health kick" soon.

I think we should count on the people here to help us when we struggle.

My husband is pretty supporitve as for anyone else, I don't discuss it with them. It's none of their business.

You gotta understand, especially for boyfriends and close friends, they arn't allowed to call you fat. that would be mean and cruel. And being overly supportive of you saying you need to lose 20 pounds would be awfully close to saying your overweight and they don't want to hurt your feelings.

Wait until you've lost some weight and shown it's something your doing that makes you happy. When it becomes more about supporting your healthy habits and lifestyle and less about tiptoeing around hurting your feelings, you'll find a lot more of your loved ones are on board.

I concur with those who say don't talk about it. Friends often think they are supportive by telling us we look good or don't need to lose the weight. (And too often have seen us try and fail before.)

Lose the weight. True friends will be happy for you. I suspect your boyfriend will come around, particularly when he sees how much better you feel about yourself.

I totally understand your situation.


No support is the reason why I have not told some people that I am changing my lifestyle. I didn't tell my man partner that I was cutting back on junk food and trying to eat as healthy as possible. I just started cooking a lot. I told him that I was so tired of eating out...which is true. I hate spending money on food that I can prepare much better myself. The reason that I didn't tell my boyfriend that I was changing my eating habits because although he means well, he starts criticizing every idea that I have about exercise or planning meals. Or he would say that I don't have time to workout because I am a workaholic. He doesn't do this anymore because he is really enjoying my cooking and he is seeing how much money he is saving by bringing his lunch to work.

At work, no one really notices what I eat. The majority of them are health nuts, so they would be thrilled if they found out that I was eating healthier.


This site is very very helpful. This is where I get a lot of support, and inspiration. Since I am at a computer, I check the forum once, twice sometimes three times daily. This helps me to not care if people doubt my determination to lose weight or to deal with sabatours (sic).

I agree with Photochick, I just want to prove to the people who think I cant do it. That I can do it and that I dont need their help to do it!!