hi ladies. i'm new to this forum, but i've been lurking for a bit. my backstory is this- when i was a teenager i was on effexor, zoloft, and prozac (not all at once!) and finally settled on prozac as the one that worked for me. I took it for about a year & stopped because i didn't like the empty feeling it gave me. I notice now that all those medications come with strict warnings NOT to give them to teenagers. sure would have made my youth a little bit easier if they'd had those warnings back then.

Effexor turned me into a zombie and zoloft made my problems worse. But now I'm 28 and I'm struggling a lot. I can't seem to get out of my depression - and anxiety is just a part of my life. I'm obsessive beyond control and about the most stupid things. I know they are stupid yet I cannot stop! I really feel like I'm going to need to go on medication.

I have two problems though- first one- how on earth do I tell my husband? He denies that any kind of counseling is good, when we were having problems in the past he refused to even consider marriage counseling. He also has parents that are on medications and I am worried about what he'll say/think. I have sat paralyzed several times this past week trying to find a way to tell him and I just can't. I can't just go on them and not tell him, not only do i feel it wouldn't be right, but also- we have shared money so there's no way i could keep it a secret.

Second - have there been better developments in the last 10 or so years on the medication front? I really am scared to go through the medication game again. I don't want to feel sick and I don't want to feel soul-less. I know meds effect everyone differently, but I'm just wondering for people who have been through it if there is even hope. I don't want to rely on medications for my entire life- but I also don't want to keep fighting the urge to just run away from everyone and everything. every day that i get on the bus i think- maybe he'll run up on the sidewalk and hit my instead. not that i'm suicidal- but i do sometimes think death wouldn't be so bad. sigh.

Thanks for the support.

hi chicklet!

i am taking a anxiety medication also. it helps immensely. i dont like all the side effects. without tmi, sex is not as good. nuff said on that. BUT i have the ocd thing going on also. the med i take is citalopram. it helps with the anxiety greatly. i still have dips during pms but not like before. i do not have ongoing depression (as in all the time) but during pms, i get very negative and very depressed.

and i would tell your husband and present as a fait accompli. it just is. if you were diabetic, you would take meds.

or say your job could be in trouble due to how you feel.

good luck! and pm me if you like for more on my med experience

LizzieP, first of all, BIG

I have certainly been where you are, so I know how you feel. Especially when I was your age and younger (I'm 37 now).

Back when I was in the "it sure wouldn't be terrible if that bus hit me" mode, I was so depressed and also wracked with anxiety. Even though dying didn't sound bad, I was still paralyzed with the fear that I was going to drop from a heart attack at any moment and would go over and over it in my mind all the time. I finally started taking paxil after a huge battery of cardiac tests (all fine) , and it made a HUGE difference in my depression and anxiety. I actually started feeling like "Wow, life is SOOO great!" The only problem with the paxil was that it made my libido pretty non-existent. I doubt your DH would appreciate that!

Listen, they have made huge strides in the past 10 years on these kinds of meds, but like you said, everything works differently on different people. My best advice would be to talk to your dr, and if one isn't working for you after 6 weeks or so (make sure you give it the full 6 weeks, because for most people it takes that long to kick in -- ALSO, that's about the time period for any side effects to start to subside for most people), try another.

I really think you should go for it!!! What have you got to lose? And the possibility of actually being HAPPY is so worth the trouble!!!!

As for your hubby, I know how they can be. Mine doesn't think people should need meds for anxiety/depression, either, which means he's never felt this way!!! You have to take care of yourself, and IMHO, I don't really think long term weight loss is going to be very likely until you get yourself straight. I don't think I would let ANYONE get in the way of my health/happiness, just tell him like it is!!!!

Best of luck!!!

Have you read the book Depression Free Naturally? It has truly changed my life and it's med free. I've tried meds but ALL of them had nasty side effects (last one I tried was 2 years ago). The subtitle of the book is 7 weeks to eliminated anxiety, depression, anger, etc. and that was what grabbed me. I thought shoot I can do anything for 7 weeks before I go on meds again (I was at the point you were at knowing I "needed" something as my life had become unmanageable again.

Just a thought. Hugs with whatever you decide. Take care of yourself.

Hi, Lizzie. First, you need to find out exactly what's wrong. I thought I was depressed, but I had ADD and was overwhelmed all the time. I think therapy is a good idea, and the thing to tell your husband is that even though he believes it doesn't work, you want to just give it a try in case it does. Then all he needs to know is that it makes you feel better. Good luck to you!

Talk to your husband. I'm sure he must know something is going on. Honestly, IMO he doesn't have to agree with what you decide to do with your body! Talk to your doctor and do some research. I do think seeking counseling would be beneficial and I would suggest that if you decide to go the meds route that they be prescribed by a psychiatrist not your general practitioner. GP's don't usually have enough time to keep up on all the advances and I personally don't think they should be prescribing depression meds. If you do go on meds I think it's best to get them from a doctor who specializes in these illnesses and who can take the time to really listen to what is going on with you.

In my case, all the medicines that were on the market a couple years ago gave me side effects I just couldn't deal with. I mean, bad side effects and they didn't ease after taking the meds for while, so I had to look into other options. My doctor gave me information on various studies that had been done in regards to omega-3 supplements and depression/anxiety. About a month after starting to take omega-3s I started to notice a big difference in how I felt. I wasn't 100% better, but definitely better. Here's an article about why they think omega-3s help.

http://www.lef.org/magazine/mag2007/...ression_01.htm

Also, after talking to a friend who is in the medical field I started taking Rhodiola Rosea. It's an aptogen (like ginseng) that raises the norepinephrine levels in the brain. Here's an article about Rhodiola Rosea.

http://www.anxiety-and-depression-so...iola_rosea.php

Now I have my depression and anxiety under control. I take my omega-3s daily and I take 100mg of Rhodiola Rosea when I need an extra boost due to life throwing stress at me (I no longer take it all the time, just for a month or so when needed.) This may not be the solution that'll work for you, but there are other options out there.

Whatever you do decide to do, do it for yourself. Talk to you husband, but he needs to understand that whether he agrees or not, it's your body and you need to do what will make you feel better.

I've been on most of the drugs, but the only one that kinda worked was Zoloft, which then peaked on me, then nothing seemed to work. I hated being on meds because I felt like everything that was me was gone. My Doc decided that talking therapy was better for me. I did notice that when I started my lifestyle change it really helped. A big hug to you. Talk with your docter to find the best course of action. I've just started going to a center in my town that simultaneously works with weight issues, nutrition, fitness, and mental health issues. Perhaps there's something in you area similar that can help.

I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression, but had the same problems on anti-depressants that you did: zombie, lethargic, uncreative.

After many tests and doctors, we realized I didn't actually have depression, the depression was a result of feeling miserable about being anxious all the time. We cut out the anti-depressants and instead I was put on a purely anti-anxiety medication. I felt loads better, happier, and 'normal'. That was a few years ago, since then I've trained my body how to deal with anxiety so that I don't need the meds anymore.

there have been SO many changes in the past 10 years. not just the medications, but the diagnosis. You might not even have depression, you could have an anxiety disorder or ADD or so many other things. And there are so many options now if you don't like taking prescriptions. There are lots of doctors who focus on therapy to train your thoughts and behavior, and ones that only will work with vitamins and things like that.

If I were you, I would meet with a doctor first without telling my husband. After the first meet you'll know better what to say to him- that your going into therapy or your going on meds or your going to be taking vitamins. If he really dislikes that stuff it will be easier to digest if you can tell him what the plan is as opposed to a bunch of vague ideas about 'doctors' and 'medications' - that would sound scary to anyone!

wow- thank you for all the responses! I think I will talk to my doctor and go from there. I don't want to stress my husband out or cause any more trouble with us until there is something to actually tell him.
I agree therapy can be very good, I've been before and it helped me through a really tough time. I am totally willing to go back if it will help. I guess I kind of feel like a narcissist when I go to therapy though. I'm just VERY aware of myself talking about myself and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Heh- something I'll just have to get over.
I am glad to hear so many positive responses to taking medications. I think getting a good diagnosis is probably a very good idea. I'd hate to be treated for something I don't actually have - and back in my teenage days well, my diagnosis went like this "well, Prozac works for your mom, lets try you on that" they didn't even ask me what was wrong or what I was feeling. Dead on that a GP just doesn't have the time and focus on that aspect to make a good diagnosis or decision regarding AD meds.
Think I'll do some more research on the natural supplements too. And I have a book I was prescribed the first time around that I never read and probably should have. Think I'll give that a shot too. I'm really open for anything at this point.

Thanks!!

One thing that just popped in my mind after reading Hypras post. Ask your doctor about getting tested for mitral-valve prolapse (spelling might be wrong here.) From my understanding it's a valve defect that can cause anxiety symptoms. It's not life threatening and is easily treatable with medication. My former psychologist had this and that is what prompted her to go into the field. Sometimes these symptoms are a sign of an underlying medical condition that you wouldn't automatically think about.

Hi Lizzie,
Find a good DR, explain all of your issues & symptoms & he/she will most likely run lots of blood work to give him/her an idea of what is going on. Like you I have suffered from anxiety for a few years (well more than a few)and have been on different meds to help. I swear the Effexor is the reason for my 30lb weight gain this year. I have recently stopped it and boy was that not fun trying to come off of that. I also was like a zombie on it. I will tell you that the one that seems to work like a charm with absolutely no side effects but maybe a slight appetite loss is WellbutrinXR. But what works for me may not be great for you & of course you know that. One thing my DR tells me to always remember to do is
"Take care of yourself because nobody else will do it for you."
He sure is right! You know what you need and if your husband doesn't agree
then just nicely let him know that "You need to take care of yourself whatever it takes."
Good luck to you and maybe you can come back and give us an update.
Take good care, Susan

I would try to talk to your husband, let him know how much you love him
And that you respect his feelings and opinions. But nicely and firmly let him know that you truly believe this is something that you need to do for you right now.

First off you could contact some local churches, many especially Baptist and Methodist often have counselors there that you can talk to for free. Also talking to one of the pastors can help.

IF you try to go to a Dr. You really need to go to a Psychiatrist. YOu wouldn't want to go to a regular doctor if you had problems with your heart right? Psychiatrists are specialists, and have the much extra training and experience.

I know what you are talking about with meds though.
DIfferent meds have different side effects. The good news is that there are sooo many types of meds out there. You do need to be patient and trust your Dr. If you don't feel trust, find a different Dr. Also, just because in the past a medicine did or didn't work, doesn't mean you will react the same now.

I've had depression and anxiety since i was 13, now i'm 31.

*hugs*
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You aren't alone.

When i married my husband he didn't understand "mental health" he didn't understand medicines, but he has learned.............It is hard for some people who have never been there, to understand why we can't just "flip a switch" and get more energy, and stop worrying, and stop crying, and all that jazz. Sometimes i go through denial myself....trying to will myself to "flip the switch". In my heart of hearts, i know that there isn't a magical switch....I truly have nothing to be ashamed of. THis is a medical condition with my brain. Just like if you had diabetes...................

Take care of yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hugs*
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