The reason why I ask, is because sometimes I feel great about how I'm looking and excited about losing weight.

Other times I feel that being big has been my identity ALL my life. I've always been big, I'm 5'11 so even if I was skinny I'd still be big, but it seems like that's always been who I am.

Back in my crazier days, it was oh don't mess with her she'll mess you up... lol I've changed a lot now a days.

But it's hard for me to imagine myself as skinny.... It's almost like I'm doing all of the right things now but deep down it's like I don't feel it could really happen or maybe I don't want to think about how I'll look because I won't like it.

Does anyone else ever feel that way or am I just crazy?

You're not crazy at ALL! I felt the same way as I was losing weight, and now that I've reached and surpassed my goal, I still can't really absorb that I'm not the "big girl" anymore.

no it's not crazy, if it is the i guess i'm crazy too. while i truely am happy about my weightloss, sometimes after if get a compliment, i feel all panicky, and start thinking oh god how can i hide in the shadows now? it almost always ends with a trip to the fridge. but i just keep on thinking, i'm doing this for my health, and i will get used to the new, smaller version of me in time

Please, that is sooooooo not crazy. I've been big all my life...more on the round side. I honestly couldn't imagine being 'skinny' which is probably why I'm aiming more for 'thick'...aka 'curvy'. I haven't been in the 100s since I was like 10 years old, so I really can't remember what it's like.

I completely understand!
Its nice to know that its obviously a normal feeling. I just cant picture myself being skinny. Part of me almost believes its not physically possible for me. I know thats stupid, and realistically I can be any weight I want to be....I guess its just easier to convince myself of that in order to rationalize the weight I am now.

I could not ever imagine myself at a normal weight. I had been big for my entire life and wouldn't even know how to imagine it.

I think that's why I would just sit there and poke my pelvic bone that stuck out I just couldn't believe it. But I think that makes the "shiny new car smell" stage all that more fun

No, you're just crazy... (jk! lol )

I'm average height, but I've always been heavy, since as early as I could remember. When you live a certain reality for basically your whole life, it's sort of hard to imagine life any other way and I too often have trouble visualizing myself as thin. I've certainly lost weight over the last couple of years, but I have never been able to break through and become THIN, or even slender. I'm still fat and it's hard for me to imagine FINALLY pushing through the plateau I inevitably fall into (or ... onto... as it's a plateau) and actually being thin.

June- That's so funny. Even though my hips don't stick out I keep poking my sides and feeling all that muscle.

Erin- I think that's what I've been doing. It's easier to believe the bad over the good. But at least we haven't given up!

Cal- like 10 years ago when I was about 40 pounds lighter but still big, I would always tell everyone, I just want to be thick. I'm good just like I am. I think it was b/c I was scared to be skinnier.

Piper-I understand that too. Sometimes when I get comments or a marriage proposal from a stranger my first reaction is to think that they are poking fun at the fat girl, but then it just weirds me out. Well, the marriage proposals do. lol that's just strange!

Mindi- do you think that will go away in time?

See that is why my goal is 170 because I can't imagine myself being any smaler then that.....even though when i was in high school I was 148(but not in a healthy way). So we will see...if I can break past 170 i will be stoked.an really not know what to do with myself!

Been a big girl all of my life. Tallest in the class through most of elementary school. A little on the high side of the weight scale until middle school when I became overweight... and then obese.

I can't even imagine myself below 200 right now, much less skinny.

You aren't alone.

Yes and no. I wasn't overweight my whole life. I've been young and thin and not exactly out of shape, but not fit either. 120 # and size 8. I've been a bit older, in good shape, eating fair, 130#, still a size 8. But it's been a long time since then, and I've spent a long time at 170 - 197#, size 14-18.

I've been overweight since Kindergarten. When I would go to my babysitters after school, the other kids would get yummy snacks and I would carrots and celery sticks. (For a 6 year old...That's not something that easily understandable) In the 3rd grade I weighed 128lbs and in 7th grade I got into the 200's. I'm in the 180's for the first time in my life- that I can remember it!

But there are days that I don't feel the progress. Usually it's when I go into a clothing store. I feel like people are looking at me because I don't belong. I usually feel like the elephant in the room (PUN intended  ) This past weekend I went into Victoria Secret (the store usually giving me the most anxiety) and I stood in the store like a deer in the headlights FOREVER. Then a sales lady came up to me and asked if I'd like a bag. (I wasn’t being ignored!!!!) More than that- I made a purchase! My FIRST Vicky's purchase in my entire life!!!

My point is that I think the feeling it totally normal and I wonder if I'll ever see myself the way other people see me. Or if I'll always feel like the girl couldn’t fit into the crowded bus seat. (Sometimes I feel my newly identifiable collar-bone just to make sure the progress is still there!) It seems like a feeling a lot of us go through!

Actually, not at all. I can't believe how fat I am. My head doesn't think I look like this...until I look in a mirror. I know I am fat, definately. I can feel it every minute of the day but it doesn't feel normal. I can totally see myself thinner. I don't even dream the way I am, in all my dreams I am thin. Always. This me I am right now doesn't seem right.