Hey!
To quote 3FC member Meg: "If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse."
The day may come for you, and I hope it does soon, in which losing weight and keeping it off is more important to you than just eating like your friends and family and doing what you want.
Successful losers have to get past that old mindset. They have to do it one meal at a time, sometimes. The idea that you can just eat whatever you want at any time has put you where you are today, hasn't it? It was how I got close to 200 pounds myself.
You might want to try a program like Weight Watchers in real life, where you have group support and a financial stake in success. This might help fill in during those times when you just don't care and want to eat fattening food.
Good luck to you! You can stop this cycle!
Jay