Hubby is ready to try calorie counting. I love him. at least he will try.

he's 37
sedentary (that will not change he has bilateral club foot)
he's about 6'2"
he's also about 450 pounds.

he does like veggies!
but he LOVES junk....

I know he gets A LOT more calories than I do esp with my nearly 80 pound loss... but i don't count calories....

what a good place for me to figure out how many calories to make his meals/snacks

I was thinking he needs around 3000 but maybe i'm wrong?

Nessa - I use www.ahealthyme.com. I plugged in all the information and came up with this: 3,935 calories are needed to maintain the current body weight, 3,025 of which are needed to meet the body's basic energy needs. To lose 1 lb. a week, he'll need to scale back to 3,435 calories (500 less than the maintenance level).

This is the formula they use:
REE = (10 x weight in kg) + (6.25 x height in cm) - (4.92 x age in years) + (166 x sex [males, 1; females, 0]) -161

yeah he wants to lose 3 pounds a week... i told him NO 2 is plenty...

<deep sigh> he gets bored on the beach and wont' go to meetings with me... I wish he would.

At 450 lbs, 3 lbs or more a week is healthy weight loss. Your average weight loss should be around 1-2% of your total weight rather than some fixed number.

When I was 360 lbs, I didn't count calories, I just cut out a lot of junk and started losing. Have you tried that with him?

Well, at his weight, he could easily lose 3 a week and be healthy. Remember that a 1% loss per week is considered a healthy rate of loss. People who start out heavier *can* lose more per week, at least starting out, and still stay in that healthy range.

The calorie calculator that I use the most is this one:
http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

I like it becuase you can switch back and forth between the various methods of calculating, as well as get figures for calorie cycling, etc.

Here's the number I got providing the info you gave above:
Maintenance: 4282 Calories/day
Fat Loss: 3600 Calories/day
Extreme Fat Loss: 3600 Calories/day

Keep in mind, of course, that the numbers here are estimates and he'll have to tweak according to what works for him.

Also you said that the club foot means he will remain sedentary, but there are things he can do to raise his heart rate and build muscle that don't involve walking or running or anything like that. Some moderate upper body resistance, weight lifting, etc. should be well within his capabilities and would really help kick up his metabolism.

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Being that he's a man, and his starting weight is about 450 pounds, losing 3lbs a week isn't unreasonable or completely dangerous.

That being said, we can't choose the weight we lose each week, it chooses us.

Hopefully calorie counting will be his Golden Ticket.

well he did SBD with me for a while but he complains that he has no treats... i have to find treats that he likes... he will totally rebel (as is obvious by his regaining all he lost) if he has no treats.

Treats in what sense? And how often? We know that Mandalinn eats dessert every day But, she keeps it to about 150 calories.

Would he be okay with a small daily treat like that? Or or his idea of a treat a big bag of Doritos or something? I mean... eventually something has gotta give.

it's good to know he can lose more than 2 per week.. that will help keep him motivated.

as for exercise... i tread lightly there with him but i'll work on it.

well his idea of a bedtime snack is a box of cookies.

he thinks lunch is two sandwiches some chips, some macaroini salad two teas, and then two tastycakes.

i have no control when he's out of the house.

last night since i've stopped bying him treats he loves (I admit to being evil and spoiling him a lot since the accident that almost killed him back in march) he had microwave popcorn.

something small does not satisfy him..... he wants it all....

i know it has to give.

he talked of gastric bypass but when I told him he needed to have a psychological profile and he's probably have to diet for 3-6 months before hand he got mad.

i'm not making excuse for him... he's a total jerk sometimes... this is one of them. he's watched me lose 80 pounds... and he's NOT getting it.

his dad is diabetic
his mom has high blood pressure
his grandpa is diabetic
his uncle died of complications from diabetes

his cousin's husband was the 750 pound man John Keitz that they did a TLC show on... and

he's still not scared enough to get healthy.

if he can eat 3600 cals a day...that leaves a good amount of cals for a treat if he wants it. I eat a choc chip cookie (or 2) a day.... they're like 220 cals each. I still lose 1-4 lbs a week.

i know he has a lot of leeway.. i set up a sparkpeople page for him and I will measure him tonite (we don't have a scale that goes as high as he is) and I will work to get him a bit healthier.... even if he loses 100 pounds and keeps that off he will be in better shape than he is now.

i have to get him to help me plan his food... i need him to own some of this.

Nessa - maybe if you can get him to make a list of the things that he won't/can't give up? If you can help him plan out a diet that doesn't look like it's depriving him of the things he really wants, that might help?

I dunno ... sounds like he kinda wants to lose, but he isn't QUITE at that point where he's committed to it yet. That's gotta be hard on you, I would imagine.

Good luck and let us know how it's going.

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That's up to him to control himself when he's out of the house, and I know that doesn't stop the worrying, but it's truly out of your hands.

A bag of popcorn can actually be healthier than a lot of things. I know that the 94% FF ones are really delicious (and I wouldn't have known they were 94% FF if I hadn't looked at the box). And airpopped popcorn is fantastic. (Although without any toppings I'm not sure if it would qualify as a treat.)

"We can't always get what we want." I know you know, and I'm sure he knows... if he wants to lose weight, he can't continue eating the same way. He if he wants to continue eating the same way, then he can't lose weight. Once again, I'm sure he knows this logically... but perhaps it hasn't really hit him that permanent changes need to be made. Or he's not ready to make them, as sad as it is...

Would he like to check out the WLS section on 3FC? Maybe then he'll realize that WLS is still a lot of work. That it is a very useful tool... but we've all heard the horror stories of people not following the proper diet, and then returning to their old eating habits... and eventually their old weights.

You're doing what you can to be a healthy example for him. I wish I could say something better. And I truly wish something would make him realize.

Maybe Calorie Counting will be it. It can't hurt. Maybe it'll click & he'll feel better. I hope so.

Ladybugnessa, have you looked into Volumetrics? It can help give the impression of a large quantity of food (actually, it can be a large quantity!), while keeping the calories under control. And with that many calories to work with, it would leave room for controlled portions of the treats. Just a thought! Good luck, and congrats on your own success!!!