Hubby dated and married me at this weight (which is healthy for my height) but when I asked him if he'd like me to lose 25lbs, he said yes.

I know I know!!! I shouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know, but it hurt a little to know the truth!

I can eat ANYTHING I want and stay this weight, if I want to lose even 5lbs I have to drastically change my diet!

Is it ok to use hubby as motivation to lose weight? I'm pretty happy with myself but knowing he's not just eats me up inside!!

The questions you need to ask is why did you ask him about the weight loss?
Do you want to lose the weight too?
I've found that you can only lose if you want to do it for yourself. I spent a lot of unhappy years in a marriage where my husband wanted me to lose weight, constantly ciritised my size and made me feel so bad. All the time this happened my weight fluctuated, he constantly checked to see what size I was wearing and what I was eating to the point I was cutting labels out of clothes and eating in secret.
This changed last year and I am now successfully losing weight because I decided I needed to!!! I've not listened to others telling me I need to.

So if YOU want to lose the weight then do it - If it's others telling you that you should then you won't be able to stick with it long term.

Hope this helps

One thing to point out, most guys have absolutely no idea what 25 lbs looks like. It's a number you picked out, and if it had been 5 or 50, he very well might have had the exact same reaction.

It's also possible that if you'd told your hubby you planned on gaining 5 lbs, he might have had the same reaction (agree with your wife, so she'll stop talking, syndrome).

Just because he said "yes," doesn't mean that he isn't perfectly happy with your weight now, and regardless do it, or don't do it, for you.

I think kaplods is right--it might have been what we call a "whatever you say" moment. You might have asked him if he wanted you to shave your head and he might have responded in the affirmative.
If you are happy with where you are in terms of your weight, you are far ahead of most of us. If your husband has been dropping hints that he's unhappy with your body (perhaps the reason you came out and asked?), then you need ask yourself what lengths you'll go to for his approval. You're the only one living in your body, and ultimately your happiness with it is the only happiness that really counts.

Why did you ask him in the first place????

When I read the thread title, it made it sound as though you are 4 months postpartum, and that he was badgering you to lose weight. Then, I realized that he wasn't...that you asked him for his input!

If you are happy at your weight, and can eat whatever you want, etc. then stay there if you are comfortable. Instead of dieting, so to speak, how about eating like you normally do, but adding regular exercise into your routine? Instead of trying to be 25 pounds thinner, you can just firm and tone up the size that you already are-which might make a big difference.

Did you ask for his input because he treats you differently, or doesn't make you feel as sexy since having the baby? What made youw ant to ask him? I know if I'm in a relationship feeling unsure of myself I'd most likely ask too, wanting to know if they thought what I think.

160 for 5'8 is a great weight just so you know... if you do want to lose weight for YOU don't get to skinny. There is a difference between skinny and scrawny

At 5'8" and 159 pounds you are not overweight, if you feel good where you are let that be your deciding factor.

Thank you for all the input!

I do want to lose weight when I think about how I look in clothes (or without clothes, tee hee) but when food is in front of me I don't care anymore. Through this wonderful site I've found a lot of information and realized I'm a compulsive overeater. I knew that I had a weird relationship with food, cared and thought about it a lot more than other people seemed to, and I sometimes binge (no purging). But I finally have a name for what I do and I also just finally put two and two together and realize where it started (7 years ago) and why (very personal incident I probably shouldn't share here). So I'm going to attend Overeaters Anonymous meetings! I hope I can finally overcome my compulsions with food and eat normally!! I also have low self esteem and hope this will be a catalyst to get me healthy in all aspects (mind, body, spirit).

I'm glad you realize hubby isn't a jerk! I really didn't mean to portray him as one!! He did really think about his answer though and when I ask him what celebrity's body he likes best, it's the thin girls with big boobs. So, I have one thing down!!

I'm going to make an appt with a nutritionist because I have hypothyroidism and PCOS (aren't I fun?) so I want to make sure I'm eating in a way that supports my body and doesn't make these issues worse!

Thank you again, I appreciate the advice!

The thin girls with the big boobs....



That is so funny, because a LOT of the celebrities that you see with this body shape, did NOT get it naturally. MOST stick thin women do NOT have huge boobs. It's called padded bras, plastic surgery, etc. If you weigh 105 pounds and have hardly any body fat and wear a size 0, then there is very little chance that you have enough body fat to sustain large boobs naturally.

I respect the thin actresses who proudly display their "smaller" assets.

It's funny, because MY husband prefers the curvier hourgrlass celebrities-with fuller hips/buns. He likes J Lo, Kate Winslet when she was in Titanic, etc. He LOVED Anna Nicole Smith, and thought her body shape was gorgeous...he loves curves. He loves Jennifer Love Hewitt's figure, too-she is a classic pear shape with smaller upper body and fuller hips.

He's a butt man.

^^^You're totally right!! And we live in So Cal so I'm absolutely bombarded by size 0's with DD sillicone melons on their chest!!

Before kids I was a size 6 with natural D's. Now I'm a size 8 or 10 with E's.

I'm planning to get a lift after our last baby weans, but that's a while away, we want a big family!

Hubby likes how Angelina looked in Tomb Raider. Slim, toned, busty but not super fake looking. He thinks Anna Nicole was gorgeous too (back in her Guess ad days)! She was breath taking!