Hii! My name is Suz and i am new here to this forum cos i am sick of bein the fattest and ugliest person i kno. Ive tried so many diets but i just cant stick to it and i duno whats wrong with me. Let me explain.

I am 17 years young. Ma height is 5ft2 and i weight 14 stone 8 lb which ma doctor says is obese for my age weight and height. But I haven't always been this big in fact it is only in the last year or so that i have put on all this weight. Up til last year i was normal sized and i didnt really eat dat much junk food cos i only had healthy food when i was hungry and then one proper meal wiv my family in the evening. But now its like i am addicted!!

It all started when i started college in september last year. The more friends i met, i started to go for lunch and sometimes dinner with them in places like the chip shop, mcdonalds and KFC. and they used to buy stuff like chocolate which i didnt really eat much then offer it to me to share at break times and stuff. So i got addicted to junk food and started to buy my own and notice the stuff my mum bought for my dad which i had never noticed at home before.

Now all the money i have gets spent on junk food and i eat all the unhealthy food we have at home. Bein from a portuguese family i get encouraged to eat a lot of food and be a bigger size because portuguese people like to eat a lot. And because of this, ma mum won't let me diet or cut stuff out from my eatin habits because she says women look better when theyre my size and that its unnatural if i lose weight from not eating something.

i cant even excercise cos i have had back problems since i was little and as a result even the slighest stretch in the wrong way can really hurt my back and i might have to get an operation. (i've had two already). So my mum wont even let me excercise cos she gets worried. so i'm hopeless

I've tried loads of diets, but the only one i've ever had success with is cutting out unhealthy foods and sticking to under 1500 calories a day. But i can't do taht anymore. even though it worked for a while in february before i gave up. i was meant to start on the 1st september this year but it failed after 2 days because i always feel deprived and get cravings for sweet stuff in the evening.

Even if i substitute it with fruit or something healthy like smoothy i still want cake and chocolate cos i feel like im missing out on 'proper' food. i asked my mum not to buy it or to hide it but she says its not fair to make the whole family cut out junk just cos i dont wanna eat it cos my family enjoy it. My mum says if i want to count calories its up to me and she cant stop me but at the same time i cant stop the whole family from buying the food they like just cos i dont want it. She tells me that if i want to stop eating it, i have to just stop then, but not stop the whole family.

But after my last meal of the day, when i reach 1500 calories, it gets to about 9pm and i start craving something, even though im not hungry. and if i dont have it i feel deprived and go crazy. So then i eat a lot of junk just cos im bored and cos i like it....sometimes i eat 5000 calories in one night!

Its like i have no willpower...i dunno what to do. i just cant stop eating junk! how can i stop eatin in the evenings for no reason? I feel like killin myself sometimes i hate being so fat and ugly. How can i get some motivation when nothing i do seems to last long and i always give up?

Hi Suz, welcome to 3FC! We're so glad you're here.

You will find many kindred spirits here. Many stories just like yours. It sounds like you are at the end of your rope. Well that is when you tie a knot and hang on. Here you will find help, love, and encouragement. Read some of the "goal" stories and look at the pictures.

Look at your health as a life goal. It's not something you do "for a while" to lose some weight. It is life.

Hang with us!

-Susan

I'm not a big advocate of 'diets'. I think the moment you put the 'fobidden' tag on something, you just want it more and it makes you binge. So I don't do that. Maybe you could try something like intuitive eating (there's a thread around here somewhere). Eating slowly, eating whatever you want and (the tricky part) stop when you are full. It has worked for me. but I also make sure that 90% of what I eat is healthy.
Good luck on whatever you chose to do!! You'll find great support here. I know I have.
hope this was helpful!!

-lo

Hello, and welcom to 3FC!!
I have to agree with lointhecity...do whatever works for you. and if you need support whenever, just come here!!

thanks guys...i already feel more comfy around you guys do you really think i can do it? i just feel like im lettin maself down all the time...when i do eat healthy, i feel proud of maself likee im achievin something...and then, i feel like i'm deprivin myself cos i cant just go make a cheese sandwich or have some biscuits, cos its not healthy.

one of ma friends told me that your not meant to eat at night cos your body will make it into fat easier, but i cant sleep unless my stomach feels completely full, and if i eat somethin healthier it just feels like i am 'forbidding' stuff from me like lointhecity said.....but i know i just cant eat ALL junk food every day...but its like if i dont eat junk i feel like im stoppin maself having what i want.

i dunno what to do. i put weight on EVERY week and ma doctor says its not good for my heart or my back problems, but i just cant stop im reading the goals page but i feel like i could never do as wel as everyone else cos i havent got the will power. i dont know what to do

Thanks for helping...sorry im bein depressing and it looks like im bein difficult, but i just dunno.....im gona try and weigh myself every saturday and tuesday, that way i dont feel like i have a whole week to eat healthy and that one day wont matter so maybe ill be more motivated. its just annoying cos i dont think i can even go three days without eating like a pig every hour of every day.

da thing is, its even affectin ma friends and my relationship with them. Only one of ma friends was supportive of me goin on a diet. all the rest of them tell me im fine and that i shouldnt worry about my weight and that at ma age i should just worry about enjoying myself at parties and stuff. But thats a problem cos then they always sabotage my plans by encouraging me to eat stuff with them even though i know i wont be able to stop like they do. at mcdonalds for example, they have one meal but i dont feel satified unless i have two. i dont know why. i just like to have a lot.

And the friend who supported my diet isnt talking to me now cos i messed up my last one, and she says im just bein greedy and fat and that if i tried harder i could lose weight. so now she hates me cos i dont do it properly.

Hi again Before your weight can change for the better, your thinking needs to! Yes, of course you CAN do this. But will you? That is up to you. We can help, love and encourage you. We can pick you up when you fall down. Ultimately though, only you can decide whether or not you want to do this. Only YOU can decide what you will put in your mouth.

On August 17, 2008, I decided I wanted to do this. I have now lost 12 lbs. I try not to think of how far I have to go, but of how far I have come. I feel like I've lost a lot more than 12 lbs, because my *way of thinking* has changed and that has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

I'm healthier, I'm stronger, and I'm on my way. You can be, too.

-Susan

Hey Suze : ) I'm new here as well, and this is actually my first post! I know it can be so hard at times to 'retrain your brain'. Feeling poorly about yourself, even if it feels all consuming, is (unfortunately) common. Here I hope you find suport as I am and are able to read posts that you can closely identify with. I am in no posiotn to offer help or wisdom, but I do have one piece of advice. I often feel like my life is full of chaos and my eating habits are really sa big part of that. Sometimes when I feel like I have to eat, though I know I'm not hungry, I make little signs. I write things like "hello beautiful' and "I deserve to live the life I want". Later I post them around the house. Mostly in places I don't see often. I like putting them in my closet- behind clothing, or on the back of my batroom door. It can be really hard to believe the things I write down at the time, but I know deep down that they <must be> are true. putting them in places that I don't see often makes it so that I don't routinely look at them and think "yeah, right"... Instead it reminds me of why I did it in the first place and that it might actually be true. Maybe you can find your own little ritual (or use mine) to bring a moment of relief to a day that may feel chaos-filled. Best wishes to you one your journey, darlin'. I hope you can find those little moments of peace!

Hi Suz
I know what you mean about feeling deprived. Maybe allow yourself aroun 1600 calories? I count calories too, and i try to have no less than 1200 and no more than 1600. This usually means i get to snack (im such a grazer!). I split my calories into breakfast (around 200), morning snack (around 120), lunch (around 350), afternoon snack (around 12-150). I usually have about 1000 before dinner, which means i can have what the rest of my family has without worrying too much about going over my limit (i live at home too, i know its hard). If dinner is only around 1400, that means i can have a small treat in the evening, which is wonderful ^_^

I think you should talk to your doctor about what exercise you can do. He seems to know you have a weight problem, he should be giving you ideas as well as pointing out the health problems you could have. If he doesnt have any ideas, then go to another specialist (you probably have a back specialist or physio right?). Keep asking until someone helps you. Having back problems must be awful, but losing weight is almost definately going to help.

It would probably be helpful to figure out what your triggers are for overeating. My problems include eating when i am stressed, upset, feeling down, feeling nervous, or feeling bored. Once you know your triggers you are half way there!

If your friends are trying to sabotage your efforts, stop going out to eat with them. Seriously. Friends wouldnt do that.

I think you can have the will power if you have a plan that you think is managable. So you just have to hunt around Maybe see if you can see a nutritionalist or other specialist to help you.

This probably feels like an overload of information! Try changing just one thing a week, this really helped me. One week i stopped having dessert. Just cut it out. I could have fruit in the evenings, bread, anything as long as it wasnt a dessert food. This really curbed my sweet tooth. Next week i gave up chips i think. Or something like that, you get the idea. Slow but steady wins the race

Do i think you can do it? Of course i do

Hey! Welcome! I know EXCATLY how you feel. I've been there. Losing weight is ushally hard and you have to have alot of patience. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to give up dieting. However if you really want this I believe you can do it. I have the worst will power too but all you have to is think "Am I really going to eat like this my whole life?"

Eat healthy and drink water is all you have to do.

Good luck!

hey! I've felt the way you feel since i was about 16. I'm now 22 and it has taken me this long to finally be in the right state of mind to do something about it. I have tried numerous diets over 6 years but i feel only now am i really up for making a proper lifestyle change instead of faddy diets that last a few days!! I've only been at this healthy living thing for a few weeks and it would be great to have a buddy if you fancy it??
Good luck. we can all do it together
Cat
x

Heyy everyone....sorry i took so long to reply! its cos ive been busy with college all week cos i just went back n it was the first week from holidays.

i dont know where am meant to post now that im not new, so for now til i work it out ill post here. I have good news n bad news. Da good news is that i have been followin the healthy diet plan since i joined here till now and i weighed maself this morning and i have lost weight!! So i'm happy. i lost only a pound but its a good start for me cos i usually never lose weight.

BUT the bad news is that when i saw that i lost weight i thought i could have a treat and cos its sunday and now i have eaten a 3 course chinese dinner and had loads of cake n fizzy drinks today which adds up to about 4500 calories cos i had the whole cake. which is bad n now i feel like an idiot The worst thing is i feel like now i've ruined it i might as well just give up cos i already failed and undid all ma hard work

id really like a buddy, so ya if you want to do this together then let's definately do that. it might help me and it would be nice

im so stupid though

Okay, first of all, girl, you need to stop beating yourself up for having an off plan meal. It happens. Sometimes it can happen often. What is important is that you get up, dust yourself off and get back on track. One meal or one day of unguarded eating won't hurt you, as long as you get back on your plan.

Congratulations on losing that pound! Good for you! That is a terrific start. And look at it this way... You are one pound lighter than you were! Not one pound heavier! One pound lighter!

Remember, losing weight, getting healthy is a lifelong commitment. Not just a "diet" going for a short term result.

Remember also, you are only 17. You are still growing and maturing and you need to nourish your body properly so that it can accomplish all those things. So, feed yourself well, as you watch your calories. I know that you have back problems, but gentle walking, even for a few minutes at a time can have benefits and shouldn't be hard on your back.

Hang in there, kiddo. Join in on the forums and get the support and encouragement you want and need. We are here for you.

thankyou rain dancer i know its a good start but now i just feel like ive ruined it by havin all those calories today...and im scared that tomorrow i will just eat whatever i want again because i feel like ive messed up now....i don't want to...but thats what usually happens and im scared my will power will fail me again But im going to try my best...i really hope i can do it.

And yeah, i was thinkin of going for walks with my dog or something after college...how long do you think is best to help with ma weight loss? thanks

we all have days where we feel like we've screwed up big time- a taste becomes a whole cake, a scoop becomes a tub of ice cream etc its not the end of your dieting success trust me. And losing a pound goes to show you CAN do it!

If you are 17 then you will probably be fine posting in the 20 somethings forum http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=56 we're very nice ^_^