I've been examining a lot of my attitudes/habits about eating. I know as a child, food was sometimes withdrawn as punishment i.e. going to bed without dinner. I remember sneaking food into my room sometimes so I wouldn't get in trouble for eating.

Money was also tight after my parents divorced and I remember having kool-aid on Rice Krispies because we didn't have any milk. Treats like chips, cookies, etc. were a luxury and we rarely had them in the house.

Anyway, I know I have a real "scarcity mentality" when it comes to food. Sometimes when I binge or even just overeat, it's like I'm subconsiously consuming as much as I can because I don't know when I'll have it again.

Or, I don't want my husband and kids to know about MY treats. I want to eat them after everyone has gone to bed because they are MINE.

Anyway, even though I'm logically recognizing these unhealthy thought patterns, I still struggle with wanting to eat at night. Last night I had a very light dinner and nothing after that. I was hungry but I was also kind of sad, like I didn't have a reward at the end of the day to look forward to.

Do any of you struggle with these attitudes about food? What has helped you not to think of food as a reward or punishment? Thanks!

When I was a kid we had snacks or deserts after dinner IF we ate all our dinner-"the clean plate club". Food was a real battlefield. My mom would try everything like making us sit there until we ate it. My problem was spinach and most meats which is funny 'cause now I am a vegetarian!

No I can't recollect my parents ever using food as a punishment or reward. My mom though, she'll say that I need to lose weight yet when I go to visit her and have a meal she'll make all this really fattening food. The last time we were there she had spare ribs, rice (which isn't fattening normally but I couldn't believe how much butter she put into it) and I think some kind of cake for dessert.

I don't remember food being used as a reward or as a punishment either. I can see how that would weigh on your mind though. It's sometimes really hard to let loose of things from our childhood.
Carol