Ok, this is going to be a bit of interesting thought....I was talking to my girlfriend the other night on the phone. Well we had talked about plastic surgery and that got us onto the subject of weight. I always pegged her for being about a size 8 and about 135-140lbs. She is my height and I always "saw" her as a size or 2 smaller than me. Well she said something about her husband telling her if she would pick a weight and then get to it that he would pay for her to have some work done. So she says, I told him I would like to be at 130lbs again...and I laughed and said "so you have like 5lbs to lose??" Well she about broke out into hysterical laughter at me and said..."UMMM more like 25lbs!!!" WHAT?????

I asked her so you weigh 160? Yeah, right I tell her. She tells me she weighs 165 and is a size 10! I was like that isnt even possible, I am a size 8/10 and weigh about 160! She freaks out and says, "you weigh that much? I always figured you were about 140". I was like NOOOOO. She says "but your so SMALL" (I liked the comment, but I always thought the same thing about HER)

So this got me thinking how other people see us is about 20lbs lighter (at least in this case) than we see ourselves. I mean when I look in the mirror, I know I am not FAT, but I know I have a few lbs to lose. I know if you are in a size medium, 10's, ect, that you are not terribly overweight, but I still "SEE" that size XL person sometimes, but that must just be in my head.

So anyone have any profound thoughts or comments on this topic?? I am interested to hear others stories like this. I know women do not typically talk actual weight numbers to others but this was a odd situation. I mean I NEVER tell people what I weigh...so this was a REAL EYE OPENER!!!

My mom, who is a short/petite woman wears a size 12/14. We wear nearly the same size pants (I have a bigger butt) and wear mostly the same size tops (although I don't wear petite tops). So she fits into most 12s and some tight 14s, I fit into looser 14s. I see her at a size 6/8 though. It is unimaginable to me that we do wear some of the same sizes.

Perception is an awesome thing and very interesting.

I've been weighing patients for years and I still have no idea.

Many times, in these forums, folks talk about a woman whining about her weight and 'she must only be about 120' But we cannot tell.

This is at least a part of our trouble in assessing our own progress, chosing a goal weight etc.

Body image has been the most fascinating head trip of this whole journey for me.

I didn't think I looked "that bad" at my high weight until I saw pictures. It is amazing how I couldn't see myself in the mirror then...I wonder if I really can now.

I focus a lot on the parts of my body that are still a little chunky. I can't believe I wear size 10/mediums. I can't believe I can share clothes with my distance-running 15 year old daughter. I can't believe I lost over 50 pounds. I can't believe I ever got that overweight to begin with.

Every where I go people rave about how good I look. Sometimes I enjoy the comments, and sometimes I cringe. YOu mean, people noticed that I was fat before?

6 of my friends have signed up with my personal trainer since I have started working with her. They tell her they want to look like me. I mean, I know my body shape has changed and she is an amazing trainer, but why would they want to look like me? What do they see that I still can't see?

I'm pretty fortunate that I get to see a lot of women each week and I am privy to their heights and weights. I see women about my height and think---wow they look so healthy and fit and I wish I could look like that...and then I note that our weights are close or mine is even a bit less.

My biggest fear, besides gaining the weight back, is that I will never have a rational realistic image of my body. I keep saying things like, "My clothes are getting too big." Of course they are not, it is my body that is changing size. Clothing is static.

I have a feeling it is going to take awhile for my head to catch up to my body.

ETA: Bleh. I fear I sound very conceited with my post. I am truly trying to figure out how to reconcile the comments I get from others with my own self-image, cause I am not seeing it.

yeah.. I am 5' 3" and right now at my weight, if I tell people I'm losing, they think I'm fine, but my goal is ultimately to get to 130 and a size 8 (or smaller) but it took me 25 lbs to get to a size 11 from a tight 13, so I'm still really confused, because I have 18 more lbs to lose but I don't understand what that translates with sizes. It's still very odd to me.. I have a friend who is 5' 6" and 148 and she is thin...!! I thought she was 130 or something but she told me she was 148/150.. so then I figured, if lose 18 - 20 more lbs, would that be the equivalent of how small she is?
It's weird.. some days I feel average in size, other days I feel big, and sometimes I feel small.. I'm hoping when I hit 130, my size will really drop..

I get a lot of comments about how much weight I've lost - well even the most unobservant person will notice a 90lb loss. When I tell people how much I've lost they are incredulous because nearly everyone didn't believe I was the size I was. The next question is usually how much more do you want to lose. When I tell them another 35-40lbs again they can't believe that I have that much more left to lose. 35-40lbs doesn't even bring me into the 'normal' BMI range but I don't tell them that!

Kitty

Ha, ha! I'm so glad I'm not alone in my thinking, I don't feel so silly now. I had actually started my own thread today on this very same topic, not realising that 'stilltryin' had started one, woops. Anyway, here I what I had posted:

Hi All,

I've really come to the conclusion that I see myself much bigger that others see me or that others lie to be kind. I was at the gym with my wonderful boyfriend last night and I said as this girl was close by "I think I'm about the same size as her", my boyfriend proceeded to tell me that I was much smaller than the girl I had mentioned. I told him "thank you" but I really thought he was delusional. The he pointed out a girl and said "You're pretty much the same size as that girl over there", the girl he had pointed out is actually someone I have seen in the gym many times and thought to myself- whoah, she has a great body so then I told my boyfriend that I thought this girl was at least 15 lbs slimmer than I was. I guess I have problems trusting what he and some others say since when I was at 199 lbs they told me I wasn't fat and that I looked great. My boyfriend told me that back when I was pushing 200 lbs that he didn't see how overweight I was (he realises now from me showing him before pictures), he thought I was still beautiful which is incredibly sweet, I know I have a real keeper there but, it's just hard to take him serious now as far as telling me I look great because I know at 199 lbs I looked hideous! I wore a size 14 and large to x-large shirt back then, now I'm 140 lbs and I wear a size 6 jean and medium shirt.

I remember when was 115 lbs and I used to think I was fat. Now I look back at pictures from those days and kick myself, I looked slim, toned and overall pretty darn good.

When I go to a store and by a size 6 jean or a small to medium pant I tell myself that the label must have been put on the wrong pants or that they are big made.

I just worry that I'll never be happy with my body, that I'll always see myself as fat, does it ever end? Is it a girl thing, never being satisfied with your body? It seems that no matter what we change we always find some other problem area- I've seen this through girlfriends and myself.

Does anyone else feel this way or am I out of my mind?

(Now I have the answer to my question after reading what you all said, thanks for the insight.)

I have always found that people tend to underestimate my weight by at least 50 lbs, but I always attributed it to my height and that old saying about how I carry my weight "well."

Or maybe those people were just being polite.

And MidWife: I didn't think you sounded conceited at all. In fact I found myself nodding since so many of the things you said resonated.

HI :

I have a long history of going up and down with my weight. When I met my ex-fiance I weighed 165, though had been 211 not very long before that.

When I moved to be with him in England I got myself up to 193 when our relationship started going down hill and I worried that we would not be married after all and I would be going back to the States with nothing to go back to. He never noticed, and that is a sizeable amount of weight, and btw he is a stick. When I mentioned it, he was surprized and underestimated my weight by about 17 pounds !!! Perhaps because he saw me every day, it was less noticable or maybe some people are just less observant than others. I notice every pound, but maybe others are not like that.

Hi,
I have the same problem and was just thinking about it this morning. I find that when I'm walking down the street, I'm constantly looking for comparables. I'm always wondering if I'm bigger or smaller than the woman in front of me, or if I look that way from the back. Weird. I'm at a crossroads about how much further I want to go with the weight loss at this point. I'm down to a size six, but when I look in the mirror, I still see a size 10. Friends and coworkers have started telling me not to lose anymore, but I don't know... I still feel big, and I think the same thing "My clothes are getting big, because I'm not getting smaller" (fiance wants me to stop because he's scared I'll lose my behind and tatas LOL!!!). I think part of it is clothing size inflation, but I also know a big part of it is in my head. I wish I could have an out of body experience to see how I look from the outside. I'm extremely camera shy (I hate seeing pictures of myself) but I may need to go this route.

Interesting side note, I was reading an article about Tyra Banks announcing she weights 161 lbs these days (5' 10"), and when she gets down to 145 lbs, TV execs find her less marketable. Also shocked to read that at the peak of her modeling days, she was at 131 lbs. Surprised me, I would have guessed she was much less, but apparently I'm not very good at the guessing game!!!

I found this online and it seemed to "fit" in with this subject:

I found it amusing!

wow- i'm not alone. good to know!

I honestly will look at people who are a good 50lbs or so more then me and think i'm in their size range. I cannot tell the difference! But it goes both ways because sometimes I'll think- there's no way I'm as fat as HER- then find out we're the exact same size. I have no clue what I look like to other people and honestly I don't think I could handle it right now to find out.

I remember being smaller though and still thinking that I looked like someone much larger.

Ha, ha, ha! Thats great and very true!

I am 5' 6" and 128 lb
and I feel so fat.
I have had 7 children
and I feel so fat.
I lost 30 lb's
and I feel so fat.
I have maintained my weight loss for 2 yrs
and I feel so fat.
I quit smoking at the same time I lost the weight
and I feel so fat.

My sister's nickname for me growing up was "piggo"
and I feel so fat.
When I lost weight at 18 she called me "skinna-bones"
and I feel so fat.
My husband berated me until I lost weight with baby #1
and I feel so fat.
I was out of PLAIN popcorn last week and complained to my husband playfully "But we can't be out of popcorn! What am I going to do? I eat it every night?"
To which he replied with a snicker "Yeah I know. I can tell"



and I feel so fat.


so yeah, my eyes do not see me. They see cellulite, and fat fat fat FAT!

I feel the same way - I never see myself the way others see me. I work in a office with two other women, and we are all in various stages of dieting. I see myself as the same weight as one of the two women, just to find out last week that she is 25 pounds heavier than me. In looking this week I can see differences, but it took her pointing them out to me for me to realize it.

I look at myself in the mirror every day and pick out the trouble spots, think "I'm not really losing any weight" and then I put on pants I haven't been able to wear for over a year and find them perfectly comfortable...

I bought a cute pajama set on a whim and was almost afraid to wear it because of my thighs. Put it on anyway and discovered that DH was reduced to almost speechless (that was nice! ) because of how it made other parts look - he didn't even notice what I saw as huge thighs!

It is all about perception...