Are you forced to sign your paychecks over?
Has your allowance decreased with inflation?
Then you may need WIFELOCK.
Have your best sweatshirts...the real old ones...disappeared?
Do you find the T-shirts in your drawer ALWAYS folded...no matter how messed up you leave that drawer, while pulling a T-shirt out of the middle of the stack, at 3:30am?
Do all of your socks match?
Then you may need WIFELOCK.
Has your week-end TV changed from ballgames and fights to Design on a Dime and Hidden Potential?
Do you NOW know you Matthew Mcconaughey is?
Are you no longer embarrased to say you've seen Bridget Jones Diary?
Then you may need WIFELOCK.
Have frozen burritos, tater tots and twinkies been replaced with veggie dogs and Wheat Thins?
Have your days of eating an entire pepperoni pizza been replaced by Friday Night Splits?
Do you NOW actually have a fruit basket?
Then you may need WIFELOCK.
Is you bed made EVERY day?
Does your bed have about 8 decorative pillows, stuffed bears and something frilly under the sheet that hangs out down the side of the bed?
Do your dogs have to stay off the bedspread?
Then you may need WIFELOCK.
Have you noticed coming home, from working out of town, that something is missing....and after a year you realize it was all the furniture that YOU had before you got married?
Have you noticed when you come home, from working out of town, your wife has...you think...a new tattoo?
Do you often hear.."I'm POSITIVE I told you about (fill in the blank)"
Then you may need WIFELOCK.
You KNOW what Angel Hair pasta is.
She NEVER remembers to pick up beer at the store.
Chips or dip are allowed in the house...but not at the same time.
Then you may need WIFELOCK.
Slacks for church hang in the closet where Levi's used to.
You actually own COLORED socks....and KNOW what color shoes and pants they go with.
You understand a T-shirt with a pocket doesn't qualify for dress clothes.
Then you may need WIFELOCK.
Hot flashes are YOUR fault.
After work, she won't give you the key to the house until you have completed 3 miles on the treadmill, in the garage gym.
Your Saturday mornings of hanging out until 8am in your boxers has turned into a 6:30 3.5 mile walk with the dogs to Starbucks.
Then you may need WIFELOCK.
I may need a new wife...if she see's this one


Thanks for a laugh!!!!
I need HUSBANDLOCK. 
Boy does your wife have her hands full...




