WIFELOCK dot com

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  • Has your identity been stolen?
    Are you forced to sign your paychecks over?
    Has your allowance decreased with inflation?
    Then you may need WIFELOCK.

    Have your best sweatshirts...the real old ones...disappeared?
    Do you find the T-shirts in your drawer ALWAYS folded...no matter how messed up you leave that drawer, while pulling a T-shirt out of the middle of the stack, at 3:30am?
    Do all of your socks match?
    Then you may need WIFELOCK.

    Has your week-end TV changed from ballgames and fights to Design on a Dime and Hidden Potential?
    Do you NOW know you Matthew Mcconaughey is?
    Are you no longer embarrased to say you've seen Bridget Jones Diary?
    Then you may need WIFELOCK.

    Have frozen burritos, tater tots and twinkies been replaced with veggie dogs and Wheat Thins?
    Have your days of eating an entire pepperoni pizza been replaced by Friday Night Splits?
    Do you NOW actually have a fruit basket?
    Then you may need WIFELOCK.

    Is you bed made EVERY day?
    Does your bed have about 8 decorative pillows, stuffed bears and something frilly under the sheet that hangs out down the side of the bed?
    Do your dogs have to stay off the bedspread?
    Then you may need WIFELOCK.

    Have you noticed coming home, from working out of town, that something is missing....and after a year you realize it was all the furniture that YOU had before you got married?
    Have you noticed when you come home, from working out of town, your wife has...you think...a new tattoo?
    Do you often hear.."I'm POSITIVE I told you about (fill in the blank)"
    Then you may need WIFELOCK.

    You KNOW what Angel Hair pasta is.
    She NEVER remembers to pick up beer at the store.
    Chips or dip are allowed in the house...but not at the same time.
    Then you may need WIFELOCK.

    Slacks for church hang in the closet where Levi's used to.
    You actually own COLORED socks....and KNOW what color shoes and pants they go with.
    You understand a T-shirt with a pocket doesn't qualify for dress clothes.
    Then you may need WIFELOCK.

    Hot flashes are YOUR fault.
    After work, she won't give you the key to the house until you have completed 3 miles on the treadmill, in the garage gym.
    Your Saturday mornings of hanging out until 8am in your boxers has turned into a 6:30 3.5 mile walk with the dogs to Starbucks.
    Then you may need WIFELOCK.

    I may need a new wife...if she see's this one
  • Yeah, you better hope Angie keeps her sense of humor after seeing this one.
  • Angie, Angie - where art thou? We need a GARYLOCK about now

    For shame, Gary - look how much healthier and happier you are!
    Not to mention you would have NEVER found 3FC and all of your friends here!

    Thanks for a laugh!!!!
  • Quote: Yeah, you better hope Angie keeps her sense of humor after seeing this one.
    Maybe I should get her liquored up WebRover!...she doesn't hit as hard

    Quote: Angie, Angie - where art thou? We need a GARYLOCK about now

    shhh! She's been trying to find that for 12 years now!

    For shame, Gary - look how much healthier and happier you are!
    Not to mention you would have NEVER found 3FC and all of your friends here!

    Thanks for a laugh!!!!
    Then I guess my marraige is WORTH IT!
  • I need HUSBANDLOCK.


    But I bet Angie gives you a big ole kiss when she reads this, because this means you NOTICE all the little things she does around the house.
  • Are you bills paid without any effort on your part?
    Then you may HAVE WIFELOVE.

    Is your wardrobe refreshed without you making a trip to the store?
    Are your messy drawers straightened when you aren't looking?
    Is your laundry magically done and replaced in your drawer?
    Then you may HAVE WIFELOVE.

    Has your scope of entertainment been expanded?
    Then you may HAVE WIFELOVE.

    Are you eating better than you ever have before?
    Do meals show up without effort on your part?
    Do you NOW actually have a fruit basket?
    Then you may HAVE WIFELOVE.

    Does your bed get magically made daily?
    Then you may HAVE WIFELOVE.

    Do out of date items in your home get replaced without any effort on your part?
    Are you sometimes guilty of tuning out important information? Are you forgiven for it?
    Then you may HAVE WIFELOVE.

    Do you now recognize healthy food when you see it?
    Is junk food automatically checked at the door?
    Is someone looking out for your health?
    Then you may HAVE WIFELOVE.

    Do new clothes automatically show up for you?
    Do you have clothes that go together?
    Are you prepared to be dressed correctly for most situations?
    Then you may HAVE WIFELOVE.

    Are you encouraged to engage in healthy behaviors?
    Do you have someone to go on long walks with?
    Are you encouraged to behave in a civilized fashion?
    Then you may HAVE WIFELOVE.

    Better do everything you can to keep her!
  • You crack me up... Boy does your wife have her hands full...
    I think the piece definitely has 'forward this email' potential... send it to all of your friends and watch it go around the internet...
  • WOW... You're quick webrover... I love it !
  • Quote: I need HUSBANDLOCK.


    But I bet Angie gives you a big ole kiss when she reads this, because this means you NOTICE all the little things she does around the house.
    JENNIFER I can almost GUARANTEE, that if she reads this thread, I am gonna get SOMETHING!

    Quote: ..................

    Are you encouraged to engage in healthy behaviors?

    Define HEALTHY.

    Do you have someone to go on long walks with?

    Do they have to be sooo long? They cut into my beer drinkin' time.

    Are you encouraged to behave in a civilized fashion?

    Clarify...civilized


    Then you may HAVE WIFELOVE.

    Better do everything you can to keep her!
    She's afraid of losing me
  • Quote: You crack me up... Boy does your wife have her hands full...
    I think the piece definitely has 'forward this email' potential... send it to all of your friends and watch it go around the internet...
    THINKIN' I need a THREADKILLER HERE!!
  • LMAO!! I love both WifeLock and WifeLove!!! Thats great..I gotta read them both to my hubby.
  • Quote: WOW... You're quick webrover... I love it !
    I AGREE! EVERYONE Join in with your own S.O./LOCK!
  • Quote: LMAO!! I love both WifeLock and WifeLove!!! Thats great..I gotta read them both to my hubby.
    SHELLBACKS should already know how to read Francie
  • Quote: THINKIN' I need a THREADKILLER HERE!!
    Too late, already copied and sent to about 500 of my closest friends..
  • Quote: I AGREE! EVERYONE Join in with your own S.O./LOCK!
    Yah - even if there are 500 more S.O./Lock posts, you're still in it deep.