I'll try to be quick, but I need some serious advice! This is eating me up!
My husband andI have been married for over 4 years, together for over 10 and living together for about 5.5.
Before we lived together or when one of us was out of town, we'd always say 'I love you' on the phone before hanging up.
When we're physically together, he won't say it, even if I say it first. Instead, he'll give me a kiss, a hug, or touch me in a non gratuitious yet affectionate way. It's been this way forever. Once I tried to find out why he wouldn't reply and he grew defensive. That was a few years back. He usually says 'actions speak louder than words'.
He's a wonderful husband; we do things together, hang out, engage eachother, he helps with the housework and cleaning and makes tasty foods on the grill. He's home when he says he'll be home, gone when he says he'll be gone, etc.
Now, normally I wouldn't have thought twice about allthis, but I found an email of his from Jan where he solicited an escort while I was gone. I also found that he cancelled and didn't go through with it. That whole ordeal ( which went down the 3rd week of June ) was very emotional for both of us. He said that he thought about it because he was so unhappy at work and wasn't in his right mind. I can attest to the latter part. His job wreaked havoc on his health, his personality. He was a mess. He's also thhe kind of person who wouldn't stay w/ me to keep up appearances. there's no kids, nothing from stopping him from leaving me if he wanted to.
i look at what hapenned as a blessing, in thqt it allowed us to evaluate our marriage and what we can do to make it better.. we've both been working on our marriage and communication skills, things are improving, but I also realize this won't fix itself over night and that I am paranoid.
What's everyone's take on this situation?