A few weeks ago, in our TOPS meeting, one of the ladies passed along a tip to the group that she'd read in a magazine to multiply weight by 15 (you've all heard this haven't you) to find the calorie level it would take to maintain your weight, and then subtract 1000 calories to lose 2 lbs per week.

I didn't say anything at the time, but the same tip came in last night, and hubby started laughing because by this calculation, he would have to be eating 5700 calories to be maintaining his weight. He shared this with the group, and the lady who brought the tip said "I bet if you eat 5,000 calories, you'd lose weight."

I diplomatically tried to bring up the fact that the more you have dieted, and if you have health issues, especially diabetes or insulin resistance, the lower your metabolism can be, and that the "calculators" aren't very accurate. Of course the lady responded as if we were in denial of what we were "really" eating.

Frustrates me to no end, because I've been dieting since age 5. I have used these calculators since I was 14, and at 14 they were pretty accurate. By 18, they were already overestimating weight loss (which sure seems to support the theory that dieting slows metabolism). I was never one to say "I don't eat all that much, I don't know why I can't lose weight." In my 20's, my doctor said (without thinking), "you're as healthy as a horse," and I responded back, "and I eat like one, too."

Of course, that metabolism didn't hold out forever, and now insulin resistance and periodic courses of prednisone have pushed me legitimately into the "but I don't eat much anymore" camp. And unless hubby is getting up during the night - and leaving the house to eat (there are no missing groceries), his metabolism has come over to the dark side as well.

He's eating more than I am, but he's not eating 5700 calories, and I'm not eating 5200. Although at one point in my life, I probably was. During college, having no one looking over my shoulder, instead of drinking I experimented with uncontrolled eating.

Anyway, back to the point - I just find it so frustrating and even embarassing that someone would assume that I am eating more than twice what I am. I'm a very open person, so being accused of lying or being in denial - I don't know why - but it's really bothering me. I know it's just ignorance, and I'm usually pretty patient with that. And maybe it's just the way she said it, as if we were crazy for suggesting that our metabolisms were THAT out of whack.

Oh well, there's only so much you can do to combat ignorance. Everyone here knows how variable metabolism is, and how health issues, repeated, especially crash dieting, aging, and even increased weight itself, lower metabolism. So at least someone knows we're not crazy.

Just needed to vent a bit.

hi! I know absolutely nothing about TOPS but i wanted to say i understand the feeling you get when you are completely honest and the person you're talking to seems not to believe you. i hate being doubted, and seeing as how youve been at this since age 5, i can see how that rubbed you the wrong way.

I have had alot of people try to tell me how many calories to eat also. Do what works for your body. My dr put me on 14-1500 per day when i weighed 306. I am losing good at that rate. I had another dr tell me to go down to 1000 to lose faster!!(I dont wantt o starve my body...my body is so good at shutting down). I eat anywhere from 1300-1650 calories per day.
I had someone tell me to take what you want to weigh and multiply it by 10 to get the number of calories you should eat a day. That might work on someone who didnt have alot to lose but I dont think it would work for everyone. Just listen to your body and eat what your body needs and try to move daily and drink your water. good luck

"instead of drinking I experimented with uncontrolled eating"

Kaplods, I love that line, I think I was doing that until recently.
What I hate is that I, being the size I am, get the unasked for advice of everyones quick fix. no-carbs, low-carbs, no-fruit, grapefruit, arg! I am now just practicing eat to live instead of living to eat.

TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) is a great organiziation and the support is fantastic. Like many support and share groups, it can get pretty intimate and people feel free to share anything, even disagreements. And that IS a great thing, I just bristled a bit. The lady who said it is so very sweet, and several decades older than I, so I also attribute it to her generation.

I think that's why I was at a loss last night. If she were younger, or less sweet, I probably would have felt free to be a bit more confrontive (not mean or angry, just more direct). This morning I've put this in the proper perspective. People are always going to disagree and some will always feel the need to comment on other people's choices (to be fair, I've done it a few times myself). I am confident in my choices, so I don't have to be worried or swayed by anyone else's opinion.

That I was down another pound this morning, tells me I am on the right track.

Wow, 5700 calories is fabulous If only it really worked that way, right? lol I think the most obvious trend in dieters is just how uneducated most are, they believe the gimmics and the trendy lil new diets and don't take into account the marketing behind them.

I think generations tend to be very different in weight loss- my great, great aunt thought she'd be super healthy living off of red meats, sort of an extreme atkins only for my mom to describe her as 'healthy as a horse' She died at age 57 lol

My favorite misconception is that I eat a lot because I'm fat,

And surprisingly anyone can have misconceptions. I once had a doctor tell me I could lose a significant amount of weight just by giving up desserts and candy. I told him that would work great, if I ate candy and desserts very often.

He told me if I wanted an ice cream cone to go drive to Dairy Queen rather than having ice cream in the freezer (I can't tell you the last time I had ice cream in the freezer - and it was no sugar added, low fat).

Ugh, So glad we trust those types to help save our lives lol Why is being fat suppose to be so black and white- it's like either you- eat too much or you're lazy and often neither is the case. Argh!!!

I am mostly convinced that SlimQuick had it right LOL I quit caffeine, sodas, and sugar...and have struggled to lose.. my best friend he quit soda and lost weight sigh lol