okay, so i have no idea when i'll even have surgery but... i'm already a little nervous about being all hacked up inside. it would be JUST MY LUCK to spring a leak, or rupture or whatever... (seriously... i have the WORST luck)

so, has anyone felt like this and how do you cope once you're there. is it bad to spend more time in each of the food stages? like more days on liquids than they actually say you have to, more time on purees, etc... to give yourself a chance to really get healed up good? i mean, i know the surgeons know what they're talking about (mostly)... but still... i'm already nervous and i haven't had so much as a single appt. i just want to make sure that i do absolutely everything in my power to make things go well. everything else is out of my hands and that's fine... y'know what i mean?

Ohh its very normal to think of all these things before even calling a doctor. You wouldn't be human if you didn't. All I kept thinking of was what if I die during surgery... what would happen to my 5 year old. Horrible horrible thoughts... but then I had to remind myself that... whats gonna happen to me if I don't lose weight and keep gaining... I'm gonna die anyway and whats gonna happen to my DD then?

The way I coped with it (lapband by the way) was to keep focusing on the GOOD and not the BAD. Keep keeping positive and that will get you through.

Leenie's right, you just let those negative thoughts come up because everyone has them and then you just let them go because you can focus on the positive outcome of it all. I wanted to live and live well, heathy as I can be for as long as I can.

Try to look at it like you taking back the life you were meant to have. Change the wording of "being hacked up" to..."It takes guts to have your guts rearranged!"

no worries honey, it's all normal.

Angela

I'm afraid of needles (but not tattoos, just ones that take out blood, or stay in like IV's. I have gotten myself to think of IV needles as "the east way to lala land" I'm a pretty pessimistic person but I am putting this into God's hands now. Perhaps if I get approval I'll secretly S**t a brick, but I'll still have faith.

okay, but is it okay to slow down the recovery process as far as what you eat? i'm actually good about sticking with something, it's not really temptation i'm worried about, it's healing. even once i'm healed i don't want to stretch my pouch much and stuff. i want to do things by the book, or even more cautiously if possible. the more cautious the better, in my mind!

and this might sound silly... but i've been practicing just chewing already... y'know, not inhaling food. but the thing is... if i chew as much as i think you're supposed to after surgery... i get to the point where i just wanna gag (literally). what's up with that? i mean, i'm still pre-op for cryin' out loud! how do you make these major changes? i'm hoping that it will be slightly easier once the 'fear' is a potential reality... where you can cause yourself some serious unpleasantness (or worse) very easily.

Practicing is not silly, it's wise actually. Anything you can do to help yourself adjust after surgery is a good thing...chewing, exercise, sipping your water instead of gulping, getting used to not drinking during a meal, chosing protein first.

I had the gagging thing when I chewed until I realized that I was in the habit of swallowing half chewed food to make room for bites that were too big...I take smaller bits now and am doing fine.

Doing things by the book is critical and I think that to error on the side of caution is always the best defense but keeping your sights on clear, positive goals, working toward them with enthusiasm and joy, is as important as being cautious.

Angela

Practicing is good !! My doc told us we were supposed to take bites as small as a baby spoon will hold. So cut your food up teeny tiny and/or buy yourself a baby spoon and give it a whirl. Maybe you can try that and you won't feel like your going to hurl.

And YES, fear makes it easier to do.... its actually a good thing (fear that is).

Your gonna do GREAT !!! you have an amazing attitude

.

Just to add a different opinion in here, I did not "practice" chewing at all as a pre-op. Once I was post op, I was immediately careful of what, how, when and why I was eating anything. I didn't have to practice chewing slowly; I simply knew I had to!

As for the stages, your body will help tell you when you are ready to move on, though I recommend following your surgeon's instructions. But if you move onto the next stage and have problems, I don't see why you can't back things up to the previous stage for a bit longer before venturing forward again. We all heal differently and every surgeon is different.

As far as your nerves go, I started thinking about having RNY last July and finally had surgery in April. I went through every possible negative thought there was before with the help of my faith, I made my peace with it. Though it seemed like my surgery date would never arrive, I am so glad I had the time I did for my mental state if nothing else. By the day of surgery, I was joking with my nurse and my surgeon, where even three months before that, I was convinced I'd be a sobbing mess the day of surgery!

Take the time you need to find your peace with this, to make sure it is really what you want to do, and to do lots of research on life post-op. Know exactly what you are signing up for and you will be just fine.

thanks for the input.

i'm pretty solidly decided that this is what i want to do. yesterday wouldn't be soon enough, imo. i don't want to spend another day being fat, honestly. and really, i'm more worried about NOT having the surgery than having it. i just want it to go smoothly when it does happen - and do my part.

supposed to hear back from the Dr's office this week sometime. i guess that's mostly why i'm on edge. because it hasn't been given a green light and stuff, y'know? i keep thinking... 'jeeze, what if i gotta cash-pay?' that's really gonna bite and i can totally see myself tryin' to get some cheapie job in mexico where who-knows-what could go wrong. i mean, i know there are good doctors there too, and it's all about research, but... i just really tend to have the worst luck.

on a different note - i went to the OH website and made a profile and stuff, but my posts don't show up (says i'm too new or somethin' and they have to be approved) how do you become un-new?