I got together for lunch with a bunch of gals yesterday – we do this every few months and it is always a big gab fest.

One of my friends is a bit over 50, let’s say 55 (I think), and she has been struggling with weight for a long time. She is shorter than me (I am 5’9”, she is probably 5’7”) and I have no idea how much she weighs – my estimate is that she will be at least 280-290 lbs. Once in the past, she had the lap band surgery and shed about 60 lbs, but she did not tolerate it well and had to have it removed (after that, she gained all the weight back and then some).
She was just diagnosed with Diabetes II and the doctor ordered her to lose weight. She HATES exercise and says she cannot motivate herself, but she signed up with a gym, and is having a session with a trainer THREE TIMES A WEEK. I am worried that this is too much for her, at least initially. She is short of breath (she was a lifelong smoker until a month ago) and is totally out of shape, plus one of her knees is a candidate for replacement (but not unless she loses weight first). The trainer is making her do squats and other stuff that is too much for her leg and when she complains about the pain, the trainer tells that we all have to get over little aches bla bla bla. This does not seem right to me – if her knee is out of commission, the trainer should not be asking her to do this.

Do you think she should be doing 3 sessions per week with the trainer? Does not it seem like an overkill, especially at the initial stage? What do you think?

It might seem a little extreme, but has she told her doctor that she joined the gym? Has she told her trainer about all of her health problems? Hopefully she's discussed with both what's going on, and they're on the same page about what's healthy for her right now.

However, if she hasn't spoken to both of them about her health concerns as well as what exercises are appropriate, then she should do that immediately. She could be doing more harm than good if, for example, her trainer doesn't know she has a bad knee.

Sounds like she should start with a walking program-like 30 minutes per day if she can. Cycling is supposed to be easier on the knees. Maybe she can use a stationary bike at the gym. She should not be doing anything that hurts. Trainers are supposed to motivate and push you, but not the the extreme of causing damage to your body. I wish her luck.

I recently had a trainer push me too hard, and when I complained, she said I needed to learn to "listen to my body." Say what?

My guess is that your friend decided on her own that she needed a gym and a trainer, and she hasn't cleared it with her doctor. Trainers exist to push you, not look out for you, and if I were your friend (and age wise, I pretty much am) I would lose that trainer and do some sensible exercise on my own at the gym.

Jay

Hopefully she is talking to her doctor and her trainer about her health challenges. My trainers are professionals all the way, but it sounds like her trainer is not hearing what she has to say. She might ask at the gym if there are some trainers who can help her adapt activities, but she needs to take care of that knee.

If she needs the motivation, then the trainer will help her with that. But the trainer needs to assess her health and limitations and work with her. This is not where "one size fits all" in the gym.

In the case of someone with health issues like hers, maybe seeing a trainer 3 times a week is a great idea... she'll get constant feedback on her form to prevent injuries, and it's added motivation. I'm not a trainer or medical professional so that's my completely uneducated opinion.

However, if this trainer is making her do things that feel dangerous to her, it's a good idea to talk to her doctor. Assuming she's not making things up as an excuse to exercise less (I'm not judging -- I'm the queen of excuses ) maybe this isn't the right trainer for her.

Wow.. three times a week with a personal trainer.. I wish I could afford that. I had to stop seeing my personal trainer and he was a great source of motivation for me but he did push me a little too hard I do think. I think that's something that's very common with most personal trainers that they do that since that wasn't my first personal trainer either. But if she really does not feel comfortable with what the personal trainer is having her do knee wise then she needs to say something and if they continue to tell her " to get over it" she needs to go to the manager of the gym and complain and request another trainer.

Sound like she may be setting herself up for failure. If she decides she can't do it anymore, hopefully she will not bail out on all exercise and say she just can't do it. To me that would be a good excuse to quit going. I would rather start with something more enjoyable that I could stick with in the long run. I would not do anything that would "hurt". I'd find a different trainer since that's a lot of money to invest.

Maybe she should keep the personal trainer but work out in the pool. That would take the weight off that knee.

I think 3 days a week is fine, but I'm concerned about the exercises the trainer is having her do. She should revisit her doctor and get a prescribed plan that is written in accordance with her health issues...

Honestly I don't think there's anything wrong with 3 days a week. I also don't think there's anything wrong with the out of breath part (that will get better the longer she is a non-smoker) or the being totally out of shape (which will change quickly).

The *only* thing I see might be a problem is the knee issue and I wonder has she actually TOLD the trainer that she has knee and joint issues, or is she just saying "it hurts". I know that when I whine to my trainer, he just tells me to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. But then he also knows that I'm whining, and that if it *really* hurt hurt, I'd say "no" and we'd find an alternate. And remember that trainers are used to people who are out of shape being somewhat whiney about exercise! That's what you hire a trainer for, IMO, is to push you through the "it hurts and I don't wanna!" stage.

Your friend needs to know that it is her right and responsibility to be completely up front with her trainer. She needs to tell him about her medical conditions and give him the tools he needs to work with her and develop the proper training plan. If she doesn't take the lead on that, you can't be upset with him for just treating her like any other unmotivated person he might deal with.

Now, if she tells him clearly about this and he still pushes her, then it might be time for her to interview another trainer.

But bottom line is that she is equally responsible for working WITH her trainer to develop the right program for her.

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I'm not sure about how personal trainers need to be certified, but my idea would be to make sure to find one with physical therapy training. And yeah, open lines of communication with both her doc and her trainer are an absolute must.

i think that the personal trainer is fine. I think that three times a week is awesome and wish i could afford that.

I do think she needs to clear it with her doctor including her ortho... and that she needs to run the ortho report past the trainer...

Ladies,
Thanks for your input - all replies are muchly appreciated!