Morning Ruth, Scooby, Jenny, Pooky and all to come (AND those who post while I'm writing this!)
Thunderstorms and 60 degrees today in America's Heartland -- in the 30's tomorrow. I won't bore you w/that old "if you don't like the weather cliche..." -- but this winter has been weird, even for Iowa!
Been thinking about a few things lately -- like forgiveness and acceptance of things as they are instead of things the way I want them to be. A wise friend told me once that acceptance is the key to my serenity. When I protested that to accept something evil (or unpleasant or that I didn't agree with
) is to tacitly approve it, she corrected me and said, "No, to accept something implies no approval, it is just admitting that something is the way it is. And once we accept it,
really accept it, we can get about the business of changing it."
I'm thinking about this because I'm starting to see things a little differently after 3 1/2 months of staying the same weight. What I've been slowly coming to realize over this time is that this weight thing is not going to magically disappear -- like it does in the "magic" of a 30 second diet commercial where some dame tells us she's lost 240 pounds in 18 months. That is wonderful for her (and especially for the company she is advertising), but it ain't gonna be my story. And, now, finally 90% of me is thinking that's ok (darn that 10%!) -- it HAS to be ok because that's the way it is. But until I could forgive myself for not being the diet queen and accept that it's going to take longer for me -- maybe even years longer -- I couldn't be happy w/myself or my progress.
Does this sound like defeatism or excuses? It's not. What this is is the reality that keeps me from quitting. I have a fundamental belief that I am going to lose the weight I need to lose and that I will keep it off. This is new for me. Over the course of these past few months when I've been in the throes of overeating and underexercising somehow, some way I've come to BELIEVE that I'm going to lose weight and keep it off, if I just hang in and not give up completely. That kind of faith comes from God, I think. Another good friend told me awhile back to have faith in myself...which sounded like Greek to me. I didn't realize that fundamentally I believed that I would never take off the weight I need to and keep it off. I really haven't had faith in myself (and I couldn't seem to talk myself into it -- and that's saying something, because if nothing else -- I can talk!). So, I had to pray for it, "God, please help me to have faith in myself." It didn't come immediately, but a few weeks later it sneaked in into my consciousness -- I really can't take credit for it. And, amazingly, for the past couple of weeks, I've been back on track.
My weight watcher leader said Wednesday that there is no failure! She said that! And she didn't even qualify it w/ "if we don't give up." She said that once she accepted the 1/4 - 1/2 pounds a week that she lost and stopped seeing it as failure, she was able to go all the way to losing 45 pounds. And she's kept it off for 20+ years.
I've pretty much stayed the same weight since last November, which is a miracle, really -- but it could have been a lot less painful if I would have lost the guilt and self-recrimination (which only make me hungry!)...and, instead, allowed myself to hope and believe. This is exactly the same lesson I learned when we were parenting a "difficult" teenager, it was only
after I accepted him right where he was and for who he was that
I began to change and
THEN he began to change.
Anyway, even though these comparisons may seem a little strange, what I'm learning about weight loss is such a metaphor for almost all of life's problems and complexities. I'm thinking about you, Janice, and what you're facing with your family. And so many other families (mine included) who have gone or are going through times that seem inconceivably difficult. Acceptance and forgiveness...of ourselves and others...frees us to move on to change the evil into something good. And then the bad guys don't win...and they don't get our hearts or our minds or our bodies.
Love,
Cherie
"Acceptance is the blissful state from which all things can change." Melanie Beatty
Things will change soon enough, lots of people are going on holidays so I will be filling in for them.
