I've been feeling great about myself lately. The hubby is in the Army so when he wakes up for PT, I wake up for my own PT. I've been sticking to it, trying my hardest and it just makes me feel so darn great! Until yesterday...

Standing in line at WalMart, getting ready to pay for my 8 year old sisters birthday presents, the lady behind me decided to strike up a conversation. "When are you due?"

umm....

complete silence..

What the heck am I suppose to say to that?! Tell her I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat? That way not only does she feel bad, but I feel bad too. Lie and tell her I'm due in a couple of months? She won't feel bad, but I sure as heck would.

"Probably about 9 months from whenever I get pregnant"

I heard her quick intake of breath, kind of a small gasp, when she finally figured out what I meant. That's all I heard to, she decided talking to me was a big NO after that.

Anyway, thanks for killing a little bit of my joy that I've had over the last few days lady.

Aw, don't let a stranger's ignorance get you down. Be proud of what you accomplished and don't let anyone take that away from you. It never ceases to amaze me at how rude some people can be. Keep up the good work and reap the benefits of it. Remember the compliments you get and forget the insults.

hey i hope this makes you feel better .. its funny and mean... when i was 9 months pregnant with my son and i was huge all in the front .. no where else just all belly lol .. you know one of those pregant women you feel sorry for... lol me... anyway.. I was waiting inline at target in the layby section i was waiting to get my baby bath and all that stuff off layby .. since it was my first pregancy.. anyway.....
I am a ***** .... lol
I was waiting in line and this group of old ladies approached me and asked when i was Due ( lol which was 3 days b4 i was due lol).. I was not in the mood i had braxten hicks i was weaty and bothered and waiting in line exhausted with no seat in sight.. I turned to the ladies and roared " WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ,WHAT YOU THINK I LOOK PREGNANT HOW DARE YOU." lmao.... i bet they never ask pregnant women anymore... lol if all the pregnant women did the same thing .. we wouldn't have this problem lol....

I did my bit in changing the rudeness of 4 old ladies.. i hope they told there bingo pals and then they told there families lol.. DONT ASK!!!! lol...

Now im one of those people luckily, or unluckily is fat all over .. lol no one would ask.. lol..

Gosh, amouse... sounds just a bit over the top to me...

Well, it's hard to deal with those comments. But people don't mean any harm--I think it's important to remember that. It's not as though an overweight person doesn't know she's overweight.

Maybe one can simply say, as you suggested, "Oh--I'm sorry, but I'm just overweight, not pregnant." Everyone will still be embarrassed, of course, but there is no need to turn it into something worse than that. They are not intending to be rude or insulting, they simply made a mistake.

Good for you for doing your own PT in the morning! That's really great! Keep up the good work!

Jay

Similar situations have happened to SO many people on 3FC, you are not alone.

I've had that happen. When I first got with my ex boyfriend I was about 160 lbs, and 5'7. By thentime I met his grandmother, who had seen pictures of me, I was 230 and she INSISTED that I was pregnant. Like, seriously, she asked if I was pregnant... I said no, she said, "are you SURE you're not pregnant? you sure have gotten big since the pictures I last saw of you..."

Awww....that is the worst. It's happened to me, but the comment came from a physician. Who should KNOW that you shouldn't ask unless you see a baby exiting a woman's body.

I have to admit it kicked my butt into action.

You are doing so great on your plan!!! I know what you went through is hurtful, but don't let it get you down. I am so proud of your efforts so far!

I'm constantly worried about this happening--especially with the style of clothes looking very "maternity" anyway....

My sister has never been fat, though she's been heavier than she is now in the past. During one of those periods (she's 5'2" and probably weighed 140-150) she had this shirt that made her look pregnant. So while she was at work one day a lady asked when she was due. She said "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat." It shut the lady up and my sister never wore the shirt again. In fact, I think she gave it to me since I *was* fat so it didn't matter if I looked pregnant, I guess?

Anyway, my point is that it happened to my sister and she's barely been overweight in her life, so please don't let this harsh your joy at all the great work you've been doing. I have to remind myself of this same thing every day when the #%$@! scale just will not move, so I feel your pain. Just try to remember that you're getting stronger every day, and before long no one will ever think to ask you that question again.

I feel your pain...I really do. I've had many people as me that question. Once, in a hospital, a few months after I had my baby but had to continue wearing maternity clothes cuz nothing else fit (but I was there for my little baby, so how could she think I"m preggo again???). And, many times after that as well, I'm ashamed to admit. One of the moms at my boy's school asked me if I was pregnant in front of a group of my friends! I was horrified. Then, she started to get embarassed, so I started to make jokes to make HER feel better! Can you believe that? I felt like a big gian goof ball. Then, when I was out of control w/ my eating, I would go out and hope people would think I'm not fat...just pregnant, but I'm not sure that worked out either.

The point is that I felt horrible in every single one of those situations and getting upset and eating more won't solve that problem. Weight loss is so much to do about our attitudes. Please don't let one ignorant fool ruine your good feelings. You are doing AMAZING and it takes courage and strength to go on when things get tough. You definitely have that kind of commitment...just keep up your great work!

Take care,
Irena

Okay, first let me get this out. That stupid ol' b**ch... keep your mouth shut about stuff like that unless you're SURE!!!!

Okay... now, I'm sorry, but I LAUGHED SO HARD at your comeback!!! Oh MAN that was excellent!!!!! Seriously, that's a line that I would think of an hour LATER and be kicking myself about how I should have thought of it while I was in line.

GOOD FOR YOU for not lying or acting like an idiot. You put her in her place. She DEFINITELY will not make that mistake again!

And don't let some crazy 'ol broad dissuade you from moving forward or negate your efforts. You are doing EXCELLENTLY and all of us will attest to that.

Oh oh oh--- one other thing... I had an aunt who started out THIN when we were young and ballooned up to about a 24... well, she's in her 40's, kids grown, and she's taken up this habit of leaning back and rubbing her fat belly like really pregnant women do... like ANYONE would believe she's preggo?? Ugh--- it's revolting b/c everyone knows she's just rubbing a big 'ol fat belly... no baby inside! (and she doesn't this around FAMILY-- not strangers who *might* believe she's pregnant)

My mom had this problem once. She worked at a convenience store where the ciggarettes were up above the register and you needed a step ladder to put them up. Well, she was stocking one day and some guy came in there and kind of gasped at her, and said , "oh please be careful! We don't want you to hurt yourself or your baby!" My mom was in shock that he would think that even though she did kind of look pregnant. She just looked at him funny and said, "Um, I'm not pregnant..just fat." The guy's jaw dropped to the floor, but it shut him up and he continued about his business. My mom just laughed it off, but I know it made her feel bad for someone to think of her that way since she is on the plus size. But she's always struggled with her weight since she had thyroid surgery.

I just feel that it's better to not say anything unless the person brings up the topic themselves, whether they are pregnant or overweight.

Awww, don't feel too bad about it. She probably meant well - I know it's hard to take, but I am sure she was seriously thinking there was a baby on the way.
You know, I was offered a seat on a streetcar when I was about 23 - I was NOT pregnant and I was not even fat, I probably weighed 40 lbs less than what I weigh now, but I was wearing a dress that I bought in the UK from some East Indian vendors (in 1980's they were hugely popular, at least in my country) and it was gathered right under my breasts. My boobs have always been on the bigger side and so together with the dress, I did look like I was preggers.
Of course, I was not very happy that somebody thought I was pregnant, but rather then explain I just accepted the seat and said "Thank you". I know, I was not asked when I was due and I don't know what I would have said - but I did like your comeback.

Some people... I would NEVER say that to anybody unless I could tell they were about to pop.

I always have to ask my girlfriends if I look pregnant when I wear a blouse-y top.

That is my biggest fear!




Think of it this way, at least she mistook you for a pregnant skinny person and didn't just say "Oh, you're fat."


and I'm sure you didn't look pregnant, she was probably just one of those people who don't think before they speak.