I am trying to save money to move out, but everytime I turn around, my mother has me withdrawing money from my back account. First, it was for clothes, which I admit I needed, now it's for perfume, which is a luxury item. I have no idea what she's going to come up with next?

Why is your mother telling you what to spend your money on?

Why do you have to spend money on what your mother wants? If she wants you to have perfume, she can buy it for you.

Or does she want the perfume for herself ? And why do you have to buy it ?

Yeah... I'm confused as well. If it's your money, why is she telling you what to spend it on? And more importantly, because mothers may never stop telling, why are you listening?

I'm confused too -- do you think she could be sabotaging your attempts to move out? I know when I moved out, my parents tried a couple of things to keep me there but never encouraged to spend my money on things I didn't need.

She has always been a control freak, both of my parents are. You're right, why am I letting her dictate what I spend my money on?

I used to have to "pay rent" to my parent's, when I worked -- $20/week which my dad turned around and gave me towards a car after I moved out (what a nice guy ) -- but is she clear you want to move out and are you old enough to do so?? Let her know your goal and if she needs you to contribute, work out a reasonable amount to give her and that's it.

However, I do believe you should probably contribute to "your stuff" -- clothes, etc. I had to pay my own car insurance and up keep and my clothes/stuff for work.

Good luck.

I'm 24 so I'm definitely old enough. My Dad knows I want to move out. I haven't told her.

Figure out what rent would be for a place in your area. Open up a savings account. If you get direct deposit for your paycheck, set it up so your "rent" goes into your savings account. Practice living as if you were paying rent for a couple of months. Figure out if it's feasible. If it is, find a place, move out and use your savings for deposit/new apartment start up stuff.

I still don't get the perfume scenario at all. Did your mom buy it for you and then ask to be reimbursed? Did she just say "Foodobsessed - buy that perfume!" and you said okay?

By 24, you should be buying your own clothes, paying your own insurance, paying your own bills (rent, cell phone, internet, utilities) and buying your own groceries. If you aren't doing these things, start moving in that direction - financial independence is a great feeling.

She just said "you're out of perfume". We are going to get some.

Well, she didn't really twist your arm! Don't buy things you don't really want. Have you opened it yet? Maybe you could return it. If not, well, wear it and smell pretty, there are worse things than a nice new perfume to make you feel good for the summer.

If she's like my mom she just likes hanging out with you and wants to do fun mom/daughter bonding stuff like shopping. Take her out for a 4.00 latte instead!

I haven't bought the perfume yet. We don't have a good relationship.

Don't buy the perfume. It's YOUR money. You earned it. You should decide how to spend it. And tell her your plans of moving out and how you're trying to save your money. She doesn't have access to your account does she? If she does, I would change your PIN or make it so she can't get to it. It's hard, but stand up to her. Tell her rationally and calmly, "mom, I know you want me to have perfume, but I think it's something I really could live without. I want to spend my money on only things that are necessities because I'm trying to limit my spending." If you're not comfortable with telling her your plans of moving out, then tell her it's for personal reasons.

Mother/daughter relationship aside, this is a common scenario - if it's not your mom wanting you to buy perfume, it's your girlfriends wanting to go to lunch or some other expense that is hard to turn down. This is good practice - "thanks, mom, but I'm trying to economize right now - gotta pass on the perfume this time!" and then...don't buy it.

My best friend in WA state wants to have a "girl's weekend" in Las Vegas - I would LOVE to go, but I'm really trying to save money right now. She kept saying "but we'll do it on the CHEAP!" Even "on the cheap" would probably be several hundred dollars (hotel room - even split! - dinners out, a show, gas to get out there, etc). I had to tell her no, even though I really really wanted to go.