I am so fat and disgusting and I feel like OA is so hard but nothing else works eiether.I've been away from my OA group for so long I am to embarrassed to go back. I actually tried to pick up smoking again to sub for food. I don't know what to do.

Reality check and a

At your height and weight, you are NOT "so fat and disgusting". Try to focus on healthier lifestyle changes. Make little changes and celebrate each step towards wellness and balance.

If OA works for you, GO BACK, please! There's no reason to think you'd be judged harshly for slipping up. It happens to ALL of us at one time or another.

Just do your best, move on and never give up!!!

Acceptance. No judgment. You won't be criticized for being away. If anything, they would be more disappointed to ever find out that they had been helpful for you but you didn't turn to them for support because you were embarrassed. Go back. When you allow yourself to start feeling bad about yourself, you begin a path of defeatism. You are NOT fat and disgusting! You are unhappy with yourself and taking positive steps to change. You have nothing there to hate yourself for! Don't punish yourself for something you aren't and something you haven't done!

and girl, I know it's HARD sometimes, but try to make a list of NICE and GOOD things about yourself and focus, focus, focus on those. NO ONE HERE is "FAT AND DISTGUSTING". We are all in the same boat here, we are overweight and we are working towards losing it!

I'm SURE there must be at least one GREAT thing about you if not several more. Go back to your group, you will be welcomed!

Hey Heather-

You've taken the step to come here, so you are willing. That's all it takes.

Folks at your home group have asked about you, and wonder how you are. Yes, they miss you, and will be both relieved and heart-warmed to welcome you back.

Recovery is lifelong. It's not something that we just "get" and never have to work at again. There is no finish line-- it's a race that never ends.

You are walking your own path. Sometimes our paths take detours to places that we don't want to go. It's okay. You know how to find your way back.

We all come to OA because we feel fat and disgusting-- why else would we walk through the door and submit ourselves to such rigorous honesty?

Yes, it is hard. It's also hard to live life feeling fat and disgusting. The hard part of OA gets easier. Feeling fat and disgusting never gets easier. In OA you will suffer for a while as you adjust and grow. Without OA you'll likely suffer forever.

We love you Heather. I hope I see you Monday night at 6:00. :-)

I find OA can be difficult too. I've been in AA for 15 1/2 years. I've been in OA & abstinent this time around since September 07. Even though they use the same big book & steps, it seems different to me.

But I know that I am a compulsive overeater, that there are some foods I just can't eat, not even a little. And that if I do eat compulsively, it still won't fill me up. Eating doesn't work for me anymore just like drinking stopped working for me.

One thing no one told me in AA (the 1st time around) is that you can feel worse at the beginning. I expected to feel all better. It's because we are taking away our coping skill/our medicine and the feelings start coming up. So I expected it when I put down the food. But it will pass by using the steps and fellowship.

It's time for me to use new tools, change my life one day at a time, and accept these facts. And the only people I've found who truly understand this condition is OA.

I hate feeling fat & disgusting. I feel better now that I'm down from my heaviest ever weight, but let's face it. I'm still morbidly obese.

Just for today, I'll feel freedom from compulsive overeating, grateful for some physical recovery, and focus on healthy behavior & thinking.

Good luck to you. You can do it. You deserve to feel better.

Amy

Hang in there. I have been in OA for many years. Yes, it was humiliating to have to start going back to OA meetings again after gaining 50 pounds. I did it and everyone was so kind and supportive. But quess what? The OA miracle happened and I lost all of my excess weight a year ago. I use to weigh 240 pounds and am now a normal weight.

What so you mean by th OA miracle, i like feed back and so far what i see is you go there and dump

Iam probley speaking to quick about OA only been to rwo meetings so far 2 differnt ones I did't care for the 2 one, You go a tell how bad you done or what a crap day you had I do you get the help you need when there is no feed back, I a person who need feed back I don't know what iam looking for

we all have our times where we feel "fat and disgusting". But it will be ok. There is beauty in all of us (outside and in). This will pass, you just need to think positive about yourself and everything around you!

snowicedeb-

In OA we get feedback from our sponsors and from phone calls that we make outside of meetings. You can also get feedback by stating after you share that you would like feedback after the meeting .

I know that when it's new, the meeting format may feel counter productive, but it's set up this way for a lot of reasons and will make more sense to you over time.

Keep coming back.

The miracle that happened for me was I finally got serious about saving my life. I use to be abstinent for one week and then binge for a week and then be abstinent for one week back and forth. I finally found the food plan that worked for me. It got rid of my non-stop cravings. I was finally able to abstain all the time instead of just once in a while. I'm lucky. I attend an OA meeting where most have recovery so that does help. I have been to OA meetings where no one or just one person has any recovery and that can be depressing. I hope you will find some better OA meetings. When you speak perhaps you could ask for feedback after the meeting is over. I'm sure someone will have some suggestions. Good luck.

Iam going to another one tonight, but you talk about sponsors how do you get one. Nobody ask, I didn't ask because I didn't know about them, the one meeting everyone gave me there number, I don't know I need to have to answer to someone about my eating I can't do it on my own I all readly know that, I have a great meal plan just can't stick with it at frist I had to answerto what I was eating then when I reach my goal weight everthing went to ****. i throught i could do it on my own I was so wrong in this pass year I have gain back 28lbs I feel like such a failure, Iam not happy with myself at all, Iam even depressed with the weigh gain, Thanks

A sponsor is someone in OA who works with you one on one by sharing their own experience strength and hope. Listen during the meeting and if someone who is sharing sounds like they have what you want, then after the meeting ask them if they will sponsor you. They may say no-- not everyone is an available sponsor, but they should be able to recommend someone to you.

You could also make some phone calls with those numbers they gave you and ask for sponsor recommendations.

I understand your feelings of failure and depression. OA does offer a solution-- you get out of it what you put into it.