been a while since my emotions got the best of me, but they did last night.
not that i'm proud of this, but along with bipolar issues, and eating disorders, i have in the past struggled with drugs and alcohol, for the most part i have both in check now, with the rare execption of alcohol. everyonce in a while it rears its ugly head and bites me in the arse.
mom and i just happened to be on the subject last night, and that left me feeling a little jousted, because well you just cant make someone understand something they are not capable of understanding...if that makes sense.......anyway, then my husband used our bank card, didnt tell me and i used the same bankcard, and guess what? overdrawn.......with fees, so i was already thinking about booze,from my earlier conversation with mom (she kept saying "i don't know why you cant have just one socially tiff, thats just not normal") but since there wasnt any booze in the house i headed straight for the fridge. (i've said this before, it's easier to quit booze because you can remove it from your life, try quitting food and eliminating that from your life, cant do it, not possible,those temptations are always there in one form or another)
long story short, i went over my daily points because i ate out of anger and frustration. i had 2 cheese sandwiches, 10 black jelly beans, which i dont even like, and soup and lots of crackers. thank god that was the closest thing to junk food i could find.
i felt like i needed to share this, maybe if i hold myself accountable and post my screw ups, it will help me from doing it in the future...
if you've read all of the ramble, thanks for listening!

No... we can't make others understand where we're coming from if they just don't understand.

I've been there, eating giant servings of something that I actually think is gross, just because it allows me to be eating and therefore feeling better, even though it's a temporary fix. I think you're brave to admit that you make a poor choice. That a mistake happened. But I hope that you're back up and going forward from this moment on.

faerie thank you. i always enjoy all you posts, its almost like you know when to be tough and you know when to handle with kid gloves and
ANY advice or help you give is always spot on. i'm glad you are here.

and i've been on points today, i'm just going to let it go, whats done is done, time to get back to work

Wonderful! And I have to agree with Blz, more hugs!

If you are anything like me, even my binges now are nothing compared to what they used to be -- hoping your day went well and you are back on track!!

i was doing great today really, then blew it again 2nite, man i havent struggled like this in 5 months, makes me so mad to feel out of control, i guess i will get on it 2morrow AGAIN, i refuse to let this get the best of me, just these last 2 days have been chaos in my head and i cant seem to get my act together, the points i blew 2night have to easily use up my entire weekly allowance, since i weigh in on wednesdays i have a whole week to go with no margin for error.
i'm just so glad you are here and thanks so much for answering this post, i guess i'm a little depressed and lifes mole hills might as well be mountains right now, things i can usually take in stride are wiping me out. i'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, but i guess old habits die hard. i don't know................ but i need to pull it together soon. thanks for the hugs guys, i will try again 2morrow. the good new is i'm so darn stuffed i couldnt eat antoher bite right now if my life depended on it!

I'm with you in the morning, as I sit here eating my last of six slices of cinammon raisin bread -- we can do this -- you've done so well -- keep going!!

We will start fresh in the morning, I weigh in on Monday so I have three days to pull my head out of my ______ and get my act in gear!! Good luck tomorrow -- new start and you can do it -- even without the weekly allowance, why not get some exercise points each day to tide you over!!

lol good idea shelby! lets do this

i commit to exercise every day till weigh in

thank you!

It's okay. Slip-ups will happen. Sometimes all together. Which makes it all the more frustrating.

Committing to exercising is great!

I'd personally let go of the "must be perfect for the rest of the week", though. It would be ideal to stay within your points, but I've known that sort of thinking to screw me up before... and then I've done more damage trying to be "perfect" rather than just going with the flow.

Take care of yourself! And keep us updated on the exercise.

Pipernoswiper -- So, how did your day go??

((((hugs)))) You've vented, you've eaten... you got your frustration out..you went to your low point. Now time to raise your head up high and get back on the horse...because you are worth it, and you've done exceptionally well to this point!!